


Dreaming of Both

by Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers Family, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Maria Hill/Pepper Potts, Minor Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Multi, Older Man/Younger Man, Older Woman/Younger Man, Polyamory, Rebuilding, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 85,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23351356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Summary: Pepper knew it was a long shot, and the moment Peter Parker stepped off of that ship instead of Tony, she knew her worst fear had happened. Peter Parker knows he fucked up. He let down Tony Stark; he let down the whole world. And he lost all of it. They didn't expect to pick up the pieces together, or the work it would take to help Tony fit back in once they got him back.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Pepper Potts, Peter Parker/Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 131
Kudos: 293





	1. Superhero Adjacent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GlassesOfJustice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesOfJustice/gifts).



> You know that they say, great throuples aren't built in a day...and Pepper/Nat helps along the way. 
> 
> I owe a massive debt to Glassesofjustice for handing me this idea on a platter, for troubleshooting rough spots, for listening to me blather, for screaming with me, for brainstorming with me, and for doing endless beta work. Thank you, my friend.

The ship had landed, and it was not Tony that stumbled out of it. The small flame of hope Pepper had dared to let herself keep kindled in her heart went out immediately. And yet, she'd been the one to catch an emaciated and babbling Peter Parker in her arms. There was no one else to wait for him. Tony would have wanted it. 

It was amazing the things she'd learned by being superhero adjacent for so many years. Putting in a line for fluids wasn't one of them. That came with years nursing Tony Stark's hangovers on her own in order to avoid messy media moments and get him to his next engagement in fairly decent shape. She'd had Peter bagged not ninety seconds after Rhodey got him on a stretcher, and then Pepper let Bruce and the others take care of the rest. 

The story Nebula told them had no dramatic flare, no artistic license. Pepper appreciated that. She made herself stay until the end, even past the point where Tony crumbled to dust in Peter Parker's arms. Peter's arms, not hers. Because Tony had put the world between them one more time, even though Pepper knew she'd done an admirable job convincing herself that he would return--even though one day that wouldn't be true. That day had arrived, and she slipped away quietly while what was left of the Avengers tried to hash out how to find Thanos.

Not that they had noticed. Though a small part of Pepper had thought that maybe they would. When they didn't, she wasn't surprised. There was nothing left in her to muster even that. She had things then and there to do. Half of the world was left, and it was on the brink of chaos. 

"Hey." Bruce had found her in Tony's darkened workshop after he and the others returned from space. He pulled one of the rolling chairs next to her and sat on it backwards. "I'm sorry."

Pepper finally looked at his face. His anguish was visible--he allowed himself that. But what was she supposed to say? _It's okay_ or _I accept your apology_ or _he was so close to stepping away, managing from a distance. He wanted a baby, for god's sake._

Instead, she asked, "How's the kid?"

"He'll be okay. Physically, at least."

They lapsed into silence. It was companionable but too heavy for either of them to bear for long. Bruce finally stood and Pepper with him. He looked pained, and Pepper hadn't been surprised by what he said next. 

"I'm leaving tonight." He shuffled as he scratched his head. "This is…"

"It's okay." Pepper felt like she had turned to stone. "Do what you need to do, Bruce."

He looked like he wanted to say more. Pepper hadn't wanted to hear it. She hugged him, holding him tightly for a moment and wishing he was someone else. 

And here she was. Months later coordinating the setup of medical centers, food pantries, and sustainable farming in developing countries even more devastated by the snap than the developed world had been. Stark Industries poured money and resources into calming the chaos. But Tony's lab remained dark. 

Her office was dark save for the light of her laptop. The sun had set without Pepper's notice. A holographic screen with several newsfeeds hung in the air to her left, muted. She had signed off on accelerated construction of highly automated and efficient arc reactor power plants in several major population centers serving large areas. It would help keep things running where the infrastructure was already crumbling and now failing after losing half of the workforce. Coordinating things was not as easy as it used to be. 

Pepper sighed, lowering her head. She began to knead the back of her neck when one of the feeds caught her eye. A flash swooping through streets that did not seem empty enough.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., prioritize feed one and unmute."

"..but there has been no sign of local favorite Spider-Man since the event. Experts assume he was one of the…" Pepper swiped the screen away with her hand before it finished. She turned in her chair, facing the night sky. It would have been easy to tell herself that Peter was still recovering, but his superhuman capabilities had kept him in better shape than the average person. His body had healed, had filled out again. But the wild, haunted look never quite left his eyes. 

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples before finally getting up. When Pepper made her way to the kitchen, she wasn't surprised to find Nat there. None of them seemed to keep regular hours anymore. 

"Hey." Nat looked up and half smiled. "Peanut butter sandwich?"

"I was thinking about a glass of wine."

"Even better." Nat licked the peanut butter off of the knife she'd been using and shifted her focus to getting down two glasses. She took a bottle from the wine fridge and produced a serrated knife from somewhere Pepper couldn't imagine it could be hidden. When she finished, the cork was intact, and she'd poured two healthy portions 

"I'm fairly sure there's a corkscrew around here somewhere." It was in the second drawer on the right, beside the can opener. Pepper had used it more than once that week. 

Nat just shrugged in that way she had and handed Pepper her glass. She grabbed her own and the bottle in one hand plus her sandwich in the other and made her way to the sofa. Pepper followed, slipping off her shoes to curl her legs underneath her as she sat. She sipped the red Nat had poured and let the silence continue between them. 

"Haven't seen you down here all day." 

Nat handed Pepper one of the triangled sandwich halves, and Pepper took it without thinking. Everything still tasted like dust. The thought made her wince inwardly. "I have an actual office." Pepper gestured to the dining table where Nat had set up camp. 

"Never needed one." Nat took a long sip. 

Pepper just nodded. There were others she could use. That went without saying. Tony had never used his anyway, and that's why it was easier for Pepper to take it for her own. She looked over the jumble on the table one more time. 

"It's nice to see a mess," Pepper said quietly. 

Nat fingered the rim of her glass before setting it down. She hooked one of her legs over the arm of the sofa, and her eyes, as hard to read as ever, bored into Pepper. At one time, Pepper had found it unnerving. That gaze never seemed quite right coming from Natalie from legal, but that seemed like more than a lifetime ago. Tonight, she could see Nat's eyes were rimmed in red; then again, so were Pepper's own. They were both tired. Everyone was so tired. Grief was exhausting. Pepper felt the tears burning in the corners of her own eyes. 

When Nat smiled, it barely touched her eyes. They were darker than usual, lifeless brown instead of a green Pepper could never quite name. "We gotta stop doing this."

"Yeah." Pepper said. A dry laugh came out of her mouth as the tears began to trickle down her cheeks. "I should...sleep." She wouldn't, though.

"Okay."

Pepper gulped the last of her wine down, wincing at the bitterness. She went to the sink, rinsed it, and put it on the top rack of the dishwasher, moving almost on muscle memory alone. Nat still sat on the sofa, staring into the cold fireplace. 

"Nat," Pepper called. "Is Peter…" She trailed off. Pepper didn't know what she wanted to say, what she should say. _Is Peter okay? Is Peter healing? Recovering?_ None of them were. At least, that was how Pepper felt, stuck in time with a wound that remained forever open. 

"In his room," Nat said, without looking back. "School started again a few weeks ago."

Pepper nodded to herself. She should have known that. But she wasn't his mother for god's sake. She wasn't… _responsible_. Pepper wanted to slide down onto the kitchen floor, to feel the coolness of it against her skin, to feel _anything_ but the emptiness that seemed to consume more of her with every passing day she lived in this new reality. When she slammed the dishwasher onto her fingers, she wasn't sure if it had been an accident or not. 

"Fuck!"

Nat was up and over to her faster than seemed humanly possible. She grabbed Pepper's hand and looked up into her eyes. "Are you okay? Jesus, Pepper…"

"I'm fine it's…"

"I'll get some ice," Nat said over her. 

"Don't. It's fine. I'm fine." Pepper sank to the floor, cradling her throbbing hand. Nat was already putting ice into a plastic bag, wrapping it in a dish towel. She sat down on the floor across from Pepper and carefully took her hand, pressing the makeshift ice pack to her fingers. It was only when Pepper's heartbeat slowed that she realized Nat's hands were shaking. 

Their eyes locked. Pepper began to sob. Nat slid beside her, back against the dishwasher. She found herself in Nat's arms, Nat in hers. And while Pepper's own sobs were loud and ugly to her ears, Nat was silent, but her eyes were brimming. They held each other tightly, and when their wet cheeks touched, Pepper almost felt like she could breathe. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"No." Nat pulled away. She cupped Pepper's face in her hands as she shook her head. The gesture--so intimate--surprised Pepper so much that she laughed. And Nat laughed too. "I'm sorry...I. Fuck, Pepper."

Pepper leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. She felt the emptiness creeping back in, and she pulled away. "Thank you."

Nat laughed lightly. "Maybe we shouldn't make a habit of this, huh?"

Pepper leaned back and closed her eyes, smiling to herself, meaning it despite the missing pieces she felt inside of her. "The wine or the crying?"

"I think we obviously need the wine." Pepper opened her eyes. Nat sat beside her, elbows on her knees. 

"Maybe the tears too."

The silence again. Pepper picked up the ice pack from where it had fallen, and she finally stood, offering Nat a hand, which she refused with a shake of the head. 

"Someone's gotta finish this bottle," Nat said, smirking. 

"Goodnight, Nat."

*****

She was an early riser by nature and years of habit. But increasingly late nights and fitful, at best, sleep left Pepper waking up late. When she got down to the kitchen, Peter was sitting at the bar, a plate of toast and eggs in front of him, and Steve was pouring milk into a bowl of oatmeal. 

“Morning,” Steve said, offering a smile that Pepper returned with a wave as she went for the coffeemaker. 

She got a new filter and filled it, taking a moment to inhale the aroma of the beans, before setting the machine to run. She leaned against the counter, watching Peter push his eggs around his plate. 

“Taking this to my room,” Peter mumbled before grabbing his plate and walking away. He nearly ran into Rhodey coming down the hallway from the living quarters. 

“What’s with him?” Rhodey asked. He nodded to the coffee pot. "Enough of that to share?"

"Four cups." She squeezed her eyes closed and opened them again to find Steve looking from her to Rhodey, spoon poised above his oatmeal. 

"I guess I'll go talk to him."

"No." Pepper pushed off of the counter. "I'll go."

She made her way down the hall, slippers nearly silent on the flooring. Each step seemed to bear more resistance than the last, which Pepper knew was in her head. Peter's door was cracked open, and Pepper didn't knock. She should have. They lived communally but respected each other's privacy. That shouldn't have been different for Peter; he'd earned his place, his adulthood. 

And yet, when Pepper opened the door to see him sitting there on the edge of his bed, eyes rimmed in red, all she felt was a flash of anger so hot, she drew in a sharp breath. _It should have been you._ The thought was gone as soon as it crossed her mind, and Pepper felt so ashamed. He'd looked away by then, though, and his shoulders slumped as if something weighed them down. 

"Peter…" She leaned against the doorframe. It wasn't fair to think that way, the way half the world thought about at least one person or another. He'd looked her in the eyes, half crazed, and apologized. He had been the one to watch Tony...disappear. And that should have been her. But he had to bear it, and her own overwhelming grief was just as unfair. "Are you…" Pepper didn't know what to say. Of course he wasn't okay--no one was. 

"I've just got...homework." He gestured vaguely to a scattering of books on his unmade bed as he rubbed his eyes with the heel of one hand. 

"Okay." Pepper felt the tug of her conscience, but she closed the door, relieved to do so. She leaned against the wall for a moment, eyes squeezed tightly shut. The faint smell of coffee was creeping down the hallway, and Pepper followed it back to the kitchen. She grabbed a mug and the pot and headed towards her office. 

"Hey!" Rhodey called. 

"Make your own," Pepper replied over her shoulder. A team meeting on what to do with Peter, what to do with anything wasn't what she wanted. There was enough work to be done, work that was outside of her, outside of Tony and everything he built with the family he didn't realize he was making. 

*****

The flash of anger in Pepper's eyes hit Peter like a slap. All of this time, he had been waiting for her--for any of them--to tell him to pack his things and go, and he thought that moment had finally come. He wished Pepper would yell, would tell him what a worthless piece of shit he was for failing so miserably, for losing Mr. Stark and all of the others. When he heard the click of the door closed, he fell back onto his bed. 

Even with his eyes open, Peter could perfectly replay the events of the fight in his mind. He almost had the gauntlet. It was slipping off. If he'd tugged harder, if he'd thought to just pull one stone off as Thanos regained control…

His eyes stung with tears, and he didn't bother to try to stop himself. It wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. He shoved his books and his half eaten breakfast off of the bed so he could wrap the comforter around him. If he'd just left the ship like Mr. Stark had told him to, everything would probably be okay. 

This was the endless cycle he'd found himself in ever since Captain Marvel got the ship back to Earth. Peter wished she hadn't. He wished she would have found them too late, but he immediately felt a pang of guilt for wishing that on Nebula. She'd done her best. She tried to kill her own father to save everyone. 

"Shit!" he screamed into his pillow, wishing he could just smother himself with it. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Of course Pepper hated him. He came back instead of Mr. Stark, and he was there, useless, while everyone tried to cope, to move on. He'd seen Nat up late almost every night coordinating the remaining Avengers to help what was left of the world. And he was too chickenshit to face her too. What was the point of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if he didn't perform when he was needed the absolute most? 

"I'd just fuck it up," Peter mumbled into the pillow. He wished he could get drunk. He didn't even know if he _could_ get drunk with his heightened metabolism. Or pills or drugs. Anything to just feel obliviated. Instead he just closed his eyes, exhausted and slept some more. 

*****

The trip to attend the opening of yet another Stark arc reactor plant was largely unnecessary. But Pepper kept going in hopes that they would provide her with a sense of accomplishment. Each time she only felt the emptiness even more as she returned on the jet alone. Tony wanted the first one to go up in Sokovia; he'd felt like it was the least he could do. It wasn't the least he could do, though. Stark Industries had poured funds into aid after Ultron's reign of destruction. But Sokovia hadn't been first on Pepper's list after the snap. It's need wasn't as great. _As if I should be someone making those decisions._ But the state of things meant that she was one of those someones. 

It helped that the Secretary of Energy was the first in the line of presidential succession remaining. And she was just as overwhelmed as Pepper was with both grief and her responsibilities. Bureaucratic and international red tape had virtually disappeared along with half of the population. Instead of feeling energized by the possibilities for helping, though, Pepper just felt tired. 

She looked up at the chime of the comms system, screening the call before putting it through. A hologram of Nat appeared in the seat across from her. 

"Headed home?"

"Landing in about twenty minutes. But you knew that already." Pepper found herself looking forward to being back, and that was, at least, something. 

Nat smirked. "Just wanted to make sure I didn't have to drink this chianti by myself."

"Did you decant it?" Pepper asked as she looked back down to the work tablet on her lap. 

"Seriously?" This made Pepper look up, but Nat was smiling. "I'll see you soon."

When Pepper made her way over from the hangar, Nat was sitting outside in the grass, staring across the lake as moonlight rippled on its surface. She didn't turn at Pepper's approach, only held up a full glass. Pepper sank down beside her, a lifetime of squatting, bending, sitting in skirt suits making the movement as practiced as it was graceful. 

"Welcome back. How does it feel to be saving the world?"

Pepper scoffed. 

"Give yourself some credit. You're doing a lot of good."

"Tony is doing a lot of good. I'm just managing it." It came out more harshly than she meant it to, but Pepper didn't apologize. She swirled the wine in her glass. "Any news on Clint?" That was low, and Pepper didn't know why she was aiming to hurt Nat. If she had to hurt, then everyone else should, she supposed. But everyone else already was. 

"He's always one bodycount ahead of us." Nat didn't look at her. "Bad day?"

"I'm sorry."

This time Nat did turn, moonlight on her cheek as she smiled. "No, you're not."

She was right; Pepper wasn't sorry. Hurt and anger were feelings, and she clutched at them, grasping desperately, hoping to hold onto something. She sighed and turned into Nat. "How are we supposed to keep doing this?" _This._ Living in a world without the people they cared about, drinking wine almost every night until they could fall asleep, breathing even though every breath brought guilt and pain?

"I don't know…" Nat reached out, touched Pepper's face. "We just...make it through each day."

The silence built between them, as it sometimes did, but they were both comfortable with that. The world saw a lot of silence now. But that night, there was a tension building with it. Pepper couldn't say if she leaned forward or Nat pulled her close, but when they kissed, she didn't try to stop it. 

"Let's go inside," Pepper whispered, lips brushing against Nat's.

It wasn't the first time they had been to bed together. Though, that had been years before when Nat was Natalie. It was frantic and fueled almost as much by jealousy, on Pepper's part, as it was by lust. This was different. They fell into bed in the Stark suite with the intensity of desperation pushing them together. 

It had taken Pepper time to forgive Nat's deception, but now she realized that when they had been together then, Nat had let Pepper see her true self. Only, Pepper had been too preoccupied to notice. She cherished it now, even in the frenzy of the moment with each kiss, each article of clothing that landed on the floor, making her want with a ferocity that almost scared her. 

Pepper was half clothed, shirt open, panties still around one ankle, when, with Nat's head between her legs, she reached climax. She felt like she was being ripped apart, and Pepper wanted the soft hair she was gripping so tightly to be Tony's. Even before the warm rush of feeling had subsided, she was crying ugly tears. 

"I'm sorry," she blurted as Nat rose. 

"It's okay. You'll get me next time." Though her tone was typically flip, Nat was wrapping her arms around Pepper from behind. 

"He told me no more surprises." Pepper clutched at Nat's hands. 

"We all did what we had to do."

"I hate you all for failing." Pepper knew she could say it to Nat, but her heart skipped a beat anyway at the silence that followed. And even then, she felt a rush of relief, though only temporary, that made her ache for the kind of sleep that would be dreamless and restorative, the kind of sleep she didn't know if she would ever have again. 

Nat's voice was quiet and hard, yet despite that, Pepper could hear the undercurrent of remorse. "Me too."

"Thank you." Her tears were drying and sticky against the pillow, and her face felt puffy and heavy. Pepper would fall asleep soon, and when she woke, headachy and still tired, she knew Nat wouldn't be there. And that was fine.


	2. Weight of Grief

At first, Pepper didn't think much of it. She came into the gym, and as soon as Peter saw her, he quickly finished and left. Then it happened again. In fact, every time she entered a room when Peter was there, he found some excuse to leave. Or he just slipped away silently, sullenly. When Nat came in that afternoon, Pepper had her customary news feeds up while she rode the stationary bike. She swiped them away and took out her earbuds. 

"Hey." She slowed, letting the machine go into its cool down cycle. 

"Thought you were a jogger." Nat put her water bottle down and started setting weights. 

"Too depressing to jog outside." It was too quiet, too serene. Nat merely nodded in response. 

"I think the kid is avoiding me. Have you seen him lately?"

"He just gave me his grocery list. It involves too high a ratio of junk food, but I'm not ready to take on the responsibility of telling him that cheese puffs aren't a food group." Nat started doing seated presses as Pepper toweled her face and cleaned off the bike. 

"He hasn't helped on any missions?" Nat shook her head, and Pepper sighed. "I don't think he's put on the suit since he got back."

"Everyone is dealing with this in their own time."

"Nat…" Pepper stood in front of her, hands on her hips. Nat cocked her head, waiting, eyes sharp and sparkling because she knew what Pepper wanted to say. But Nat was going to make Pepper say it. "I'm only asking because I'm worried about him."

"Asking what, Pepper?"

"Will you talk to him? He's...I'm afraid he's not dealing with his feelings at all." She was one to talk. But she had outlets, as Nat was well aware. And even though the grief, the emptiness crept back in every time, at least there were short periods of relief. 

"I don't remember signing up to be a guidance counselor." Nat started doing her presses again. 

"I was thinking more of a...big sister." Pepper pulled out a mat and began to do her stretches. 

"I'll do it because Steve and I could use the help with half of the remaining Avengers being in freaking outer space. But I'm not guaranteeing results."

Pepper rolled her eyes, as she said under her breath, "That's not what you said last night." She almost made herself laugh at the absurdity of it all. Here they were, living like ghosts alongside each other, and she was acting like a honry teen. "I should shower."

Nat raised an eyebrow as Pepper stood. "Is that an invitation."

"No," Pepper called over her shoulder. She wanted to feel empty for a while longer, alone. 

*****

The knock at the door made Peter jump. He'd been half asleep, Playstation controller slipping out of his hand. He should have heard the footsteps down the hallway, but his senses seemed dull--for him at least--with underuse. And when the door opened to reveal Nat, that made the silence make sense too. He'd never understand how someone without any sort of enhanced powers could be so quiet. 

"Um…" He wiped drool from the corner of his mouth. "Hi, hey."

“Gimme some of that pizza.” Nat came in and flopped down on his bed, opening the box. 

“Oh, uh, sure, I just...it’s from yesterday.”

“Tomato is acidic enough to take care of anything that could kill me.” She helped herself to a slice and took a bite. Cold and rubbery. It evoked a few different times and places for her. All of them involved Clint, and that just made doing this even harder. “Also, you literally haven’t eaten any of it, and we don’t waste food.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Lighten up, Peter. I’m not Steve.”

“Right.” The chuckle was forced, but Nat saw a hint of realness in the half smile. He went back to playing his game, the volume down. Nat watched for a while. 

“Let me guess: you’re avoiding Pepper because you a) feel guilty that you came back instead of Tony, b) feel guilty because you think you failed, and c) both of the above.” He gaped, and Nat swiped the controller. “You’re going to ruin the high score.” Nat began to play as she continued. “I get it. Every one of us feels like a failure after this clusterfuck, especially after we found Thanos and he had already destroyed the stones.”

“I…” He sniffed, attempting not to cry. “I almost had it. I could have pulled it off of him if I’d just…”

“I’m going to stop you right there. Thor could have gone for the head the first time. I could have done something five years ago that might have changed the course of history to the point where one of the stones might have been lost. We could do this all day, Peter. We’re all doing it, almost every day. And it sucks.”

“So, what’s the point?”

Nat sighed. She passed the level with boring ease and went to the next. “The point is that running away from your feelings is a bullshit move that you’re allowed to make because you’re young and this is hard. But you can’t do it forever, and it’s pretty stupid to continue to try.”

“Um…”

Nat finished the next level and tossed him the controller as she stood. “Also, maybe clean your room. It smells gross in here.”

*****

He went to Tony’s lab. It wasn’t the first time, and the code was the same. He’d half expected someone to change it by now. And the second Peter stepped inside, he still felt like he was defiling a sacred space. It was dark. He could see the outlines of old suits on one of the walls—they still freaked him out, made him want to run. The first time, he had. Each visit, he could stay longer. But Peter was afraid to touch anything, to disturb the ghosts that might be hiding there. 

“I’m sorry I let you down, Mr. Stark,” he whispered, choking down a sob. “I’m really sorry, sir.” 

He edged closer to the suits, staring at their feet. He couldn’t look at their faces. Not yet. _Maybe not ever._

“I don’t know where...who else to talk to, sir. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” He did not try to hold back the tears. “It’s just that...since Captain Marvel brought me back, I’ve known I shouldn’t be here. It should be you, Mr. Stark. And Miss Potts hates me. I know she does, and I don’t want to hurt her. I would never hurt her.” He swiped at his nose with his sleeve. “But I don’t know where else I could go. I don’t belong anywhere. I should be a pile of dust.” He slid to the floor, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees so he could put his head in his hands. “I shoulda listened to you. Maybe things would be different. I...I can’t even help anyone now. I can’t do it. Please, Mr. Stark...I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll fuck up again.”

“You should use the lab.” 

Peter jumped up at the sound of Pepper’s voice. He had let his senses be overwhelmed and underused to the point that he hadn't noticed her approach. He resisted the urge, the instinct to look away, to run. It wasn’t fair for him to look at her when Mr. Stark couldn’t. He swallowed, his throat dry as she walked toward him. The words sounded so harsh coming from her mouth.

“I’m not going to say Tony would want that. He hated having anyone else working in his lab—except maybe Bruce—especially when he wasn’t here. But you should use it. It shouldn’t…” She looked around, eyes clouding. “It should be used.”

“Thanks.” He swallowed once again and cleared his throat. “Thanks, but I…”

"Peter…" The way she said his name was so infinitely gentle that he found himself holding his breath. And all at once, he wanted to do anything he could to take away the hollowness of grief in her eyes. 

"Thank you. Thank you, Miss Potts." He tried to smile, but it came out as pained. For a moment, she looked like she would touch him, grab his shoulder, maybe. He tensed, but she pulled away. It took everything he had to look her in the eyes, and Peter expected to see that same, barely controlled anger there. Instead, he noticed just how blue they were, and how sad. 

He bit his bottom lip. There was a time when he could only dream of using a lab like Mr. Stark's. Though, he had no idea if he could possibly do it justice. So many questions bubbled in his throat. But above everything, he felt a new sense of purpose in doing Tony proud--if he could even come close. He didn't know if that would make things better for Miss Potts at all, but for a moment, Peter allowed himself to hope…

*****

Pepper's feeds--four now instead of her usual three--played silently in the air beside her desk. She glanced at them from time to time. The stock market tickers were back at the bottom of the screen, a good sign that the world was slowly recovering. The United States and the E.U. were fast on their feet, but there were still places that needed the kind of help Stark Industries was in a position to give. 

The new feed was Tony's lab. She hadn't set out to spy on Peter. The alert letting her know when someone had accessed the lab had been a practical one. Sometimes Tony was hard to find. And sometimes she had to remind him to eat and sleep. The cameras...they were all over the compound as a practical matter. Sometimes she'd looked in on Tony after he'd said he was finishing up when he obviously wasn't. And, at first, Pepper told herself she was only looking in on Peter to see if he was okay. 

It was obvious how broken he was, and she chastised herself repeatedly for not acknowledging that sooner. She had been selfish in her own suffering. She still was. And watching Peter work--when he did actually work--had become part of her daily routine. Sometimes she turned the volume on and listened as he talked to the suits as if Tony were there. Pepper understood the urge. Only, were she to talk to Tony now, she knew she would only ask him "why?". _Why did you leave me again?_

Sometimes Peter talked to F.R.I.D.A.Y. It reminded her too much of Tony, and the times when he talked to the AI Tony had built for him, Karen, Pepper felt as if she were intruding on him writing in his journal. Yet she still watched and listened, knowing she shouldn't. He'd become engrossed with updating his suit, making it perfect. It made her ache inside, but that pain was at least something to feel. 

He upgraded his suit, working through eventualities, and scrapped the plans only to start over again in a seemingly endless cycle. Sometimes it was like watching Tony's ghost, and Pepper had to look away. He seemed to work tirelessly to try to change the past or atone for it somehow, while never actually putting the suit on. 

That evening in bed, when she resigned herself to another sleepless night, Pepper rolled away from the empty pillow beside her and sighed. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., bring up the lab."

The feed popped up on her bedside table, illuminating her face. She watched a hologram of Peter's suit spin slowly in the air while he slept, head resting in the crook of his elbow. Before really considering her actions, Pepper was out of bed. She slipped into the moccasin slippers she'd been wearing for enough years that they were close to falling apart and headed down to the lab like she had done so many nights before. 

*****

"Peter, go to bed."

He felt the hand shaking his shoulder before really processing what the words meant. He'd been sleeping a hard, dreamless sleep, and he could feel the creases on his cheek from lying on the sleeve of his shirt. Peter blinked in the lights before waving away the projection of his latest suit design. When he turned in the chair, Pepper was standing with her arms crossed, wearing a faded black sabbath tee and cotton shorts. 

"I...um, I'm sorry. I mean…" he caught himself looking at her legs, realizing just how much of them there were--no, that wasn't the word, it was...but he stopped himself, eyes flicking up to her face. "Yes. Miss Potts." Her hair was in a disheveled ponytail, but she didn't look tired. "Sorry...sorry if I woke you up. I was just…" He shrugged. 

It didn't occur to Peter to think about why Pepper knew he'd fallen asleep in the lab. He'd been doing that regularly. It didn't even occur to him to wonder why she was down there in her pajamas. It was that she was in her pajamas, and while he absolutely noticed women, as well as men too, he _really_ noticed her for the first time. 

"Uh…" He shifted. His biochemistry might have been altered when that spider bit him, but he was still a seventeen year-old boy, and he was absolutely cursing his body for remembering that right then. "I'm just gonna do...a few more things...so…"

"You've been at this for weeks. The lab isn't going to go anywhere."

"Yeah, I know." He shrugged again and self-consciously ran his fingers through his hair. "I just need...just a few more modifications."

"Peter, for god's sake, are you even going to wear the suit again?" He didn't know where her frustration had come from, but it was explosive, and the heaviness of grief and helplessness he saw flash in her eyes only made it that much harder for him to take. 

"No!" He quickly stood up, knocking the wheeled chair over, his own helplessness making his voice rise in pitch. "I mean...yes. But not until it's perfect."

"It will never be perfect." It was as if she had said those words before, and from the look of hurt that crossed her face, he knew she really had. But his own frustration and fear overcame him, and tears welled in his eyes. 

"How am I supposed to keep anybody safe now? I need to get it right this time!" He only half realized he was yelling, and Peter jabbed a finger at the wall of suits. "He wouldn't have let any of this happen. I fucked it up, and I can't do it again."

"Peter." Pepper's voice was measured, but her eyes were misty. He knew because she took his face with both of her hands and made him look up into them. "That's not Tony. You don't need to do this, to try to be him." Her voice broke, but the film of tears in her eyes did not spill. "It's…"

"It's not okay." He wanted to pull away, to be sullen, to break something. Instead, he pulled her close and kissed her, mind catching up to body when he realized she was kissing him back. "I'm so sorry, Miss Potts," he gasped when they broke apart. To his surprise, instead of slapping him or kicking him out of the compound or even turning around and walking away, Pepper grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into another kiss. It was the kind of desperation he thought only existed in movies and the locked bedrooms of socially awkward guys--such as himself. 

But he went with it, not wanting to stop and half afraid she would do the yelling or slapping if he did. It was when her body pressed into his that Peter nearly lost his shit. She was so soft, and warm and _tall_. And she smelled like fabric softener and maybe some kind of shampoo, which was erotic even in how normal that seemed. She absolutely had to feel how hard he was; she was pressing into him, after all. 

A healthy dose of porn viewing absolutely had not prepared Peter for this. She had her hands behind his neck, and each kiss was hungrier than the last. Peter picked her up with ease to slide her onto the workspace behind them. He was pretty amazed that move had even worked, but he was even more amazed when she wrapped her legs around him and didn't swat his hands away when he ran them underneath her shirt. 

She wasn't wearing a bra, but he realized she was in pajamas and wouldn't be. At first when he cupped one of her breasts, he hesitated, but she pushed into his hand. He heard a strangled sound of surprise come from his own throat when he rolled her nipple between his fingers and she moaned softly. He felt her hand in his hair, pushing him down, and Peter scrambled to pull up her shirt. Pepper's skin was so soft in his mouth. He ran his tongue over her areola, tasting her skin, feeling the texture of it before sucking lightly.

Peter felt like he was going to explode. He honestly had no idea why he hadn't already, but Peter couldn't dwell on it because he could feel Pepper tugging at his shirt, so he pulled it off, tossing it behind his back. The way Pepper looked at him when she ran her fingers over his pecs, down his abs, made him want to melt. There was a look of unbridled lust on her face, but it was the glimmer of approval that made him groan in anticipation. Then her hands were gone, and he realized she was tugging at her shorts. He grabbed them as she lifted her hips, and he let them fall to the floor because she was spreading her legs and beyond a shock of neatly trimmed red curls, he could see that she was glistening. 

And then she was pulling at his waistband. Peter remembered he was still in jeans. He fumbled with the button and the zipper, which seemed to take a miniature forever, but once they were open he only got so far as pushing them halfway down. But he realized that Pepper was leaning, pulling open a drawer he hadn't noticed was underneath the table. She had the condom unwrapped and halfway onto his cock before he fully understood. Those were there. They had been in the lab. She had done this before. _With Mr. Stark_. 

Then she was pulling him into her, and he didn't even have time to panic about the fact that he had never been with a girl. Pepper was a woman and experienced and...that she had done this before, right here, excited him even more. Peter let his instincts take over, and he was too caught up in feeling her body around him, listening to the little moaning noises she made, to be anxious about whether he was doing it right. She was digging her nails into his shoulders and had her legs tight around him, so he realized with a thrill that Pepper had to be enjoying it. 

Peter realized she'd slipped her hand between them, and she was touching herself as he thrust into her. 

"Harder," Pepper said in a harsh whisper. 

He fucked her harder, knowing it was going to push him past the edge but wanting even more desperately to please her. In truth, he had lasted longer than he expected, but Peter couldn't hold his orgasm any longer. He moaned, thrusting until he felt drained and dazed and euphoric. He wasn't sure if she'd come, but Pepper was pulling away, pulling her shorts back on before Peter's head had totally cleared. She put her palm on his chest and looked like she wanted to say something. Her cheeks were flushed, and he noticed the freckles standing out on her nose. But she only bit her lip and hurried out of the lab, leaving him there wondering what he could do better next time. _If there is a next time…_


	3. Stop Talking

The water was near scalding, and steam filled the shower, spilling over into the rest of the bathroom. Pepper stood in the corner, out of the spray, sobbing as she finished herself. She trembled as her climax ran its course. If she'd given herself any time to think, she would have pushed Peter away, left as soon as he'd kissed her. But that wasn't true. She'd been overwhelmed, and while that _was_ true, it hadn't been enough to stop her. 

She stepped into the water, letting it sluice over her shoulders and down her back as she continued to cry. He wasn't Tony. He wasn't even half her age, and yet Pepper hadn't stopped because she wanted it. Peter was just as broken as she felt. And yet, she saw in his earnest desire to please, a kind of hope that she hadn't felt since Tony did not get off that ship. 

It wasn't that she had failed to stop him, to stop herself, that made Pepper frantic. It was that even now, she wanted more. It had been so obvious that it was his first time that Pepper felt guilt creeping into her now, and yet as the water turned her skin bright pink, her mind kept wandering to how he'd felt inside of her. 

"What am I doing?" she muttered to herself. 

*****

Nat sauntered into Pepper's office not like she owned it but like she was amused by the entire proposition of being there. The last time she'd been in front of Pepper's desk, specifically, she'd been Natalie. The wardrobe had changed, and Pepper had to admit that she missed those pencil skirts and heels a tiny bit. Today, though, that wasn't really what her mind settled on. She would have nodded to the seat, but Nat had already dropped into it, smirking. 

"Is this what it's like to be called to the principal's office?" Nat's smile faded quickly when Pepper failed to react. "What's going on?"

It really was something to see her change so entirely that quickly. Nat’s face was serious, eyes sharp. And her body was tense for action, were it needed. But Pepper was silent, her words stuck in her throat. She knew if she didn't say it soon, she wasn't going to, so she pulled in a breath, which felt like it took an eternity, and she spread her hands out in front of her, pressing her palms to the cool surface of her desk. 

"I slept with Peter." It did not come out as measured as she wanted it to, but Pepper managed. 

Nat shrugged and slung her leg over the arm of the chair. "And?"

"And? And I'm...I'm old enough to be his mother." This was not measured in the least, and as soon as she said it, Pepper felt her cheeks burning. 

"The age gap never bothered you with me." Nat's face was still impassive, but Pepper could see a glimmer in her eyes that was absolutely infuriating. 

"Nat! It's not like that with you."

"Isn't it?

Pepper shifted in her seat, tempted to put her head in her hands. She rarely found herself at a loss for words, and this was no exception. Only here, there seemed to be too much to say. 

"Pepper..." Nat straightened and leaned forward. "When I met Tony, he had the emotional maturity of a pineapple, let alone a seventeen year old. Stop second guessing the things you want."

"That's it?" Pepper deadpanned. She didn't know what else she expected from Nat, but this wasn't a situation where she could turn to anyone else. Rhodey was Tony's best friend and confidant, and Steve...was Steve. 

"Does there need to be more? Are you asking for permission because that would be unnecessary. You've clearly already given it to yourself."

Silence. And that wasn't wholly uncommon for them. But Pepper felt as if it stretched on for an eternity. 

"So, do you want it to happen again?" Nat asked, cocking her head. Pepper noticed that she was growing her hair out--red roots with frazzled blonde ends. 

"Yes." It was out of her mouth before Pepper considered it. An unfiltered truth. Yes, she wanted it to happen again. And what did that make her? She almost shook her head at herself. 

"There you go, then." Nat pushed herself up, clearly satisfied with the conversation. She waited a moment, but Pepper just nodded. 

She didn't trust herself to speak--not yet. It was a bold assumption that Peter needed or even wanted more than what had happened. And if he did, if she obliged him, where did it leave them? Would that even be fair to Peter? Navigating a world without half of its living occupants was surreal; living in it without Tony was painful. Sleeping with Peter had been need wrapped in grief, and Pepper was afraid to think that she could feel more from it. 

"He was a virgin, Nat."

Nat had already moved toward the door, but she stopped. Over her shoulder, she said, "Would Tony think twice about that?"

The answer was "no," and Pepper wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse. She let Nat go without saying more. It was fair to ask whether she was taking advantage of Peter and of his grief. But they had been through so much. Ever since he returned, Pepper had respected his independence. He had fought alongside Tony and the others. He'd taken on the mantle of an Avenger, and the weight of that responsibility was something he would live with forever. It wasn't fair for her to make any decisions based on assumptions of what he might want. In fact, Pepper thought, it was patronizing. 

She worked the rest of the day and into the night. That much was a habit by now, but Pepper was avoiding going downstairs, facing Peter or anyone else. Work was a refuge. Pepper smiled wistfully thinking of all the nights she'd tried to pull Tony from his lab. Pepper had never had much of a work-life balance since becoming his assistant. Taking the CEO position and managing a relationship with Tony carefully shifted that. But now… She sighed, closing the work she had open and leaning back in her chair. Now things could be different if she could allow herself that. But she wasn't sure she could. 

It was late once she got to the kitchen. Pepper expected Nat to be around. She had always worked without time zones. Rhodey was away on some mission or another. And Steve...well, early to bed, early to rise.But, as soon as she walked into the half darkened room, Peter slid off of one of the bar stools. His wide eyes searched her face, apprehension apparent behind anticipation. 

"Before you say anything, Miss Potts," he blurted out. _Miss Potts_. Pepper felt a thrill underneath her annoyance. Peter seemed surprised that she hadn't actually said anything, but he stepped forward, hands up as if to physically stop any words. "Seventeen is the legal age of consent in New York, and I...uh, I definitely consent...consented. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to feel… I just…" he looked up to the ceiling, as if searching it for the right words. "Please don't hate me," he finished quietly. 

Pepper's heart ached, and it could not take much more aching before it finally shattered. She touched his face, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. "Come upstairs." She said it softly, but her voice was firm and without hesitation. And his eyes lit with surprise and delight that made her almost reconsider her decision. 

She walked to the elevator silently, hearing his footsteps behind her. Tony had made the compound his home after leaving the tower, and she was glad he had separated himself---she wasn't ready to face anyone other than Nat yet. Even then, as the elevator doors closed with Peter beside her, Pepper knew she was facing Tony too. He was all around her here, but she wasn't sure she could ever bring herself to leave. His lab had hardly caved in around them, but she hadn't been thinking then. If she let herself continue to do too much of that, she was going to end up sending Peter back downstairs with a cup of warm milk. 

But that wasn't what she wanted. Her heart was already beating hard, body moving faster than her mind. 

"Miss Potts…"

"Don't talk." His voice broke through Pepper's reverie, and she wanted to push him against the wall, to silence him with her own mouth. She wanted to tell him not to call her that, but part of her couldn't resist letting him continue. 

"Oh...uh, right. Okay...I mean…" 

Pepper shot him a glance, and Peter fell silent. He followed her out of the elevator and into the suite where Pepper immediately poured herself a glass of water. She was looking out the window, past her own reflection when she said, "There have to be ground rules."

Peter slept in her bed that night. That was breaking the first rule she'd set down. But when she rolled over that morning and found the pillow beside her empty, Pepper felt her stomach drop with disappointment. She rolled out of bed and quickly made it--a habit Tony always laughed at her for. Pepper went into the bathroom thinking through the day ahead. 

She found herself staring at her body a moment too long in the mirror. Pepper had, of course, noticed the signs of age, but for the most part, she didn't mind. Her body was hers, and even with every woman or man Tony had been with, she'd never felt the need to look at herself and wonder if he was comparing. But it seemed that Peter had little to no basis for comparison, and that thought made her chest flush red. 

After brushing her teeth, she pulled on one of Tony's tees and a faded pair of cotton shorts. As she made her way into the living room, Pepper realized she could hear Peter's voice. 

"Dude!" He was laughing, and as Pepper got closer, she could see a controller in his hand and one of Tony's nanotech headsets over his ear. "Mr. Thor, that was crazy! You just...yeah you just, like, punched that dude in the face. You've gotten way better…"

She could also smell coffee coming from the private kitchen Tony had installed that he, and now she, rarely used. Pepper went to pour herself a cup as Peter started laughing, seemingly over an explosion on the screen. He must have heard her opening the fridge for milk, though, because when she closed it, the screen was paused and he was standing, facing her. He was in the clothes he'd been wearing the night before, and his bedhead made him look younger than he was. 

Pepper felt a pang of guilt almost on top of a deep throb of longing. He swallowed visibly, like he was looking for something to say. She stirred the milk into her mug, not trusting herself to speak before at least having a sip. It burned her tongue. 

"Morning. I...um, I wasn't sure how you like your coffee. But May always wanted a dark roast, and you had some in the cabinet," he said, speaking quickly, "so, anyway, uh...I just went ahead...and…"

"It's great. Thank you." She took another sip, blowing it this time. 

"Do you...uh, do you want breakfast or anything? I could make you something..."

Pepper cocked her head. "I thought you only had cereal for breakfast."

"Still gotta pour it in the bowl and add milk." He grinned sheepishly, and Pepper was conflicted about the desire to kiss him in that very moment. She steeled herself against that guilt, though, and put her cup down. 

He tossed the controller on the sofa as Pepper made her way to him, and when she wrapped her arms around his neck, he gestured to get rid of the headset. Tentatively, Peter put his hands on her waist. 

"I had other things in mind when I woke up," Pepper said, and she realized, only with an amount of shame that thought was titillating, that she would miss eliciting that wide eyed look from him when he got used to this.

"O-oh...you did?"

"Yeah." Pepper pulled him closer until her lips were touching his as she said, "I did."

"Okay."

"Peter…"

"Y-yeah, Miss Potts?"

"Stop talking."

He took instruction well, and his kiss was wildly hungry. That was what Pepper wanted, without realizing it, to wake up to. She sighed at the feel of his hands underneath her shirt, on her back, pushing down her shorts, which she stepped out of as Peter pushed her toward the sofa. 

Peter was all hands and mouth and, to Pepper's surprise, teeth. He touched her breasts underneath the shirt, gingerly rubbing his thumbs over her nipples as if she were something delicate. 

"I won't break," Pepper whispered in his ear before biting the lobe. Pepper was already wet, but his soft moan made her feel a rush of heat between her legs. It was enough to unbalance him, so that when she tugged off his shirt, Pepper was able to reverse their positions. Peter fell back onto the sofa, and she straddled him, hands splayed on his chest. 

"Wow," Peter said as he stared up at her. "You're… really beautiful."

She smiled. It was sweet, and it was so new. But Pepper liked how genuine it was. She shifted, pulling off his pants and boxers, enjoying his still wide eyes as much as she was going to enjoy his ready cock. Pepper smirked when his breath hitched as she cupped his balls. But when she took his length into her mouth, Peter's moan was absolutely unrestrained. 

Pepper took her time, luxuriating. She couldn't help but remember doing this to Tony, bringing him to the brink and backing off again, making him wait. The memories came unbidden, but the grief that accompanied them did nothing to dampen her own needs. To Pepper's delight, Peter lasted longer than she expected. But when he came, he squirmed underneath her. 

"Oh, shit, oh, shit…" He bucked against her mouth, and as soon as he finished, he apologized for that. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean…"

With a kiss, Pepper silenced him. She should have expected that he would be ready again so quickly. There would be no luxuriating the morning away, finishing coffee and maybe fooling around again that night. Peter was pushing into Pepper within the span of a few breaths. 

They wound up falling on the floor at some point--Pepper didn't know how. But she ended up with burns on her knees from the rug Tony had her fly to Norway to buy. She discovered that if her nails bit into Peter's skin, the little bloodied ovals closed up almost immediately. There would be no scars. And Pepper wondered if his youth and beauty would remain so perfectly intact. She lay on her back, the shirt sticking to her skin, sweat cooling on her legs as late morning light shifted outside of the windows. It wasn't a surprise to her that her mind wandered to her birth control. Nearly a year of Tony being gone and she hadn't stopped taking them. Routine. Of course, there was nothing routine about lying on the rug with Peter Parker naked beside her. 

"Um…" Peter's voice brought Pepper out of her thoughts. "Can I say something that… might be weird?"

She moved her head to stare into his bright, earnest eyes. "I don't even know what constitutes weird anymore."

"You look...amazing in that shirt. And it's…" He blushed pink and looked up at the ceiling as he continued, saying, "It's not just because you're… so beautiful. It's just that… it's… well, it's because…"

"It's his?" Pepper finished. She heard him draw a deep breath, and she put her hand on his chest. "If you apologize, I'm kicking you out."

"I'm sorry." He winced. "I mean…" He turned, propping himself on his elbow in what seemed like a moment of bravado. "I really just… I just…"

"I know, Peter. I love him too." Now it was Pepper's turn to look away, to stare at the cold ceiling. "But if you're here just for that… to be close to his memory…"

"No!" His voice almost squeaked. "I'm here for you. I just… it's overwhelming, sometimes. You know?"

Pepper faced him again, and this time she smiled. It had to be worse for Peter, having seen Tony go. And she tried hard not to resent that. "I do."

*****

Peter sat on a tabletop in the lab, his legs criss-crossed as he worked a component of one of his web shooters with a micro-screwdriver. It felt good to do something, to focus his mind on something singular and occupy his hands. The focusing part, though, was hard. 

"Hey, Karen," he said without looking up. 

"Hello, Peter. It has been three hundr…"

"Yeah, yeah I know...since I've used my suit. You don't have to keep reminding me."

"You programmed me to remind you."

Peter sighed. He had, and he hadn't been able to undo that. He _could_ undo it, but he wouldn't let himself. Every day that he talked to Karen was a day he remembered the last time he'd seen Mr. Stark, the last time he'd talked to Ned. Once he had the component taken apart, Peter put it in the nano chamber beside him and pulled up a holographic visual of it above the table. He manipulated the projection, turning it to get a better look at the part he thought could use some fine tuning. 

"I've kinda had this thing happening with Miss Potts."

"Yes, Peter. You have spent the last twenty-six of thirty-one nights in the Stark suite."

"Wow, what are you--Aunt May?" It hurt before it was even out of his mouth, and Peter winced. "That was rhetorical. Don't answer that." He worked with the projection a moment longer, setting the system to break down the part and refabricate it. "Do you think Mr. Stark would hate me for this?"

"Based on available data, I am unable to provide an answer, Peter. Based on Tony Stark's past behavior involving threats to Virginia "Pepper" Potts…"

"Whoa, hey, no, Karen! Come on...I'm not a threat to her."

"What are you hoping to achieve, Peter?"

He looked up thoughtfully. Karen always surprised him with how...insightful she could be. He hadn't delved into the programming Mr. Stark had used for that. He hadn't thought that he was trying to achieve anything with Pepper. The sex was _mindblowing_ , not that he had a point of reference, but Peter figured if anything else was better than what they were doing, he'd probably die. 

"I guess… being with her makes me feel less sad. No… I mean, sometimes I still feel sad when I'm with her, but… I just… don't feel so alone."

Just realizing that, Peter felt lighter. It felt like something in his chest let go. But it wasn't light enough. He looked to where his suit hung, unused. He sighed and slumped down into himself again. "Yeah, so… run that and then we'll test tensile strength."


	4. Sharing

Peter was rooting around in the common fridge for anything that wasn't an ingredient to a green smoothie when he heard some else come into the kitchen. He made a mental reminder to start a grocery list. Nat ordered Chinese takeout too much, and Rhodey was never there. He wasn't sure if Captain America actually had to even eat. Finally, Peter found a bag of Babybels in the bottom of a drawer and grabbed the whole thing. 

"Oh, hey," he said when he closed the door and saw Captain America filling a glass with tap water. "You know there's a dispenser…"

"Nothing wrong with good old tap water."

"Yeah…" Peter started to peel one of the cheeses, rolling the wax casing between his fingertips. 

"How've you been, Pete? I haven't seen you around much."

"Oh, uh…" Peter blushed, and he stuffed the entire cheese round in his mouth while he started to peel another one. "You know just…" He shrugged. 

"Listen, I've started a group for those of us that are left. It's a safe place to…"

Peter tuned out. This was way too much like those videos that school made them watch in Health class and P.E. If he listened, he was going to lose his shit, and he wasn't sure whether that meant crawling under a table or laughing hysterically. 

"...and you're always welcome."

"Wow. Thanks, Mr. Captain America...Steve. Thanks so much." He had no idea how he was going to get out of therapy sessions with Cap and whoever else he'd found, but Peter felt guilty for even trying. "I mean, with school and…" He felt Cap's hand on his shoulder. 

"I get it." He was smiling, at least. "A kid like you doesn't need to hang around a bunch of sad adults."

"Yeah." Peter laughed weakly. "Thanks."

"Sure thing, Pete. I'm here if you ever need anything."

"Thanks." He stuffed another cheese round in his mouth and hurried to the elevator. He needed to stock the fridge in the lab precisely to avoid situations like that. 

*****

Some people marked the anniversary by remembering their loved ones, lighting a candle, or counting their blessings if somehow they'd come out of everything unscathed. Some tried to numb themselves with drugs or got obliterated with alcohol. It was only the second year; some wounds were just beginning to scab. Nat and Rhodey were attempting the latter, matching each other shot for shot. Pepper hoped they stopped before Nat actually became intoxicated. She didn't want Rhodey to die from alcohol poisoning. Steve was in the city. He'd started a support group some months before because that's where he was needed more than any battlefield. The rest were out there somewhere, either marking the day or not. And Pepper was looking for Peter. 

She found him on the roof, lying on his back, hands behind his head. He glanced at her and shifted, putting his head in her lap as she sat down. Pepper ran her fingers through his hair. 

"You're missing the party."

"They're still at that?" Peter asked, still staring up at the night sky. "Is Mr. Rhodey dead yet?"

Pepper laughed. She looked down at him, still smiling, and she watched the sprinkling of stars glint in his eyes. She tugged at his hair playfully. He needed a haircut, but there was something about the shaggy ends that made him even more endearing. 

"I think you can see them even better now," he said, glancing at her for a moment. 

"They say there's less light pollution. But you can probably see them even better than I can."

"That's okay." He shifted and pulled her down beside him. Pepper twined her fingers with Peter's and followed his gaze upwards. "See that Milky Way, there?"

"Mmhmm." His body was warm against her side. 

"What's it look like to you?"

Pepper shifted, staring for a long moment before she answered. "Long cluster of stars… dense in the middle and radiating outwards, with a little purple and green mixed in. But my brain could be putting that there because of pictures."

"No, it's definitely there. Green and purples, yellow… It's like… like a big scar across the sky, like maybe…" He shifted thoughtfully. "It's like the universe was torn apart and… I don't know. It's so beautiful, but it seems like that came from something… violent." He sighed. "Shit, sorry… I'm just… not good at this… It's, um, I just feel…"

"I know," Pepper said quietly. 

They lay silently as wisps of clouds moved across the sky. The world, the universe had gone two years without half of its population. They could see the benefits. The environment needed it. Their world that was slowly dying had begun to rebound. But the wounds its remaining inhabitants bore continued to pull open and bleed. 

"Let's go to bed," Pepper said finally. A chill was beginning to prickle her skin, and she didn't want it to settle into her core. 

*****

Early morning light had begun to creep into the bedroom, and Peter lay awake listening to the sound of Pepper's breathing. She was stretched out beside him in nothing but a white tee; he had to keep reminding himself it wasn't a dream. And the fact that it wasn't--Peter smiled to himself--was way better. Pepper looked so peaceful, hair tangled, face turned against the pillow. Peter was getting hard just watching her. It seemed wrong...no, selfish to jerk himself off and just go back to sleep. 

He hesitated a moment before rolling over. She had her knees bent, slightly curled, and Peter began to softly kiss the backs of her knees. The little bit of stubble on her legs made him smile. It was a small thing that told him she was comfortable with him really being there in her life. He kissed further up her thigh, and Pepper began to stir. He felt her fingers in his hair. 

"You're up early," she whispered. 

"There was this super hot girl snoring beside me."

"I was not."

"You weren't." He shifted as she rolled over and started planting kisses up her thighs. Pepper settled back onto the pillow, letting out a long breath. 

She spread her legs, and Peter's eyes widened. He breathed in her scent, hesitating a beat before pressing his nose into her neatly trimmed, ginger curls. Her taste always blew his mind. He struggled to describe it, to process it. Peter was so hard he could have come with a thrust if he were inside of her, but he began to lick Pepper, pushing his tongue inside. 

After a minute, he felt her hand on his head, gentle pressure pushing him away. Peter's stomach dropped. 

"Is...is that okay?"

"Mmhm. Slow down...enjoy it."

He nodded, drawing in a deep breath. When Peter began again, he really tried to feel Pepper. He focused on the softness of her pussy, the way she shifted slightly when his tongue reached her clit and the hitch in her breath when he pulled away again. 

"Like that." Pepper's voice was breathy, and when Peter reached her clit again, she put her hand in his hair. "There...there…" Unconfident at first, Peter circled her clit with his tongue, applying a little pressure. When Pepper moaned, he continued. "Like that, mm…"

Tentatively, Peter sucked at Pepper's hood, and when she moaned louder, arching into him, he felt like an entirely new world had opened to him. Peter wanted her, wanted to fuck her until he was too tired to move. But the way she was squirming under him now made him dizzy with pleasure. 

"Don't...don't stop." She curled her fingers into his hair. Peter could feel her muscles tightening. He started to use his whole mouth. He went slow, taking his time even though he was impatient. Pepper's hand fell from his head, and he knew she was twisting the sheets in her fists. 

The change in her was electric. Peter continued, steady as Pepper arched and cried out. He didn't know if he should stop, if she would want him to stop even though she'd orgasmed. 

"Peter," she breathed. "That's...it's...okay to stop now."

"Right, yeah…" He propped himself on his elbow beside her. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Pepper's eyes were closed, and her voice was thick, sleepy. She reached out and ran her fingers across Peter's chest. 

"Did I...I mean was that part where I did that thing with...you know like…uh…"

"Peter?" Pepper opened one eye. 

He swallowed. "Yeah?"

"Stop talking."

"Oh…" he was stopped when Pepper grabbed him and pulled him on top of her. And Peter was absolutely not going to argue with that. He thrust into her, and when she wrapped her legs around him, Peter moaned. If Pepper wasn't finished, who was he to say no.

*****

Pepper was late getting into her office that morning--not that she had a timeline--and she stayed later that night than she meant to. There was a Gewurztraminer in the downstairs kitchen that would go well with the leftover mezze platter she'd made the night before. While she rode down in the elevator, she wondered if she should turn the platter into a salad instead. The door opened while she was considering the green options, and she was surprised to see Steve at the dining room table, laptop open. 

"Thought you avoided those things," she said as she went to the wine fridge. 

"Seems like they're obsolete with everyone on their phones all the time."

Pepper chuckled. She was going to take the wine upstairs, but she uncorked it and poured herself a glass. With it and the neck of the bottle in one hand, she grabbed a beer and plunked it down in front of Steve before she sat down across from him. 

"You okay?" he asked as he twisted the cap off. 

"Is anyone?" Pepper raised her glass as Steve tipped the neck of his bottle towards her. She remembered when nights like these--albeit fuller--were more routine. 

"I," he paused, taking a long drink before continuing, "I never got the chance to say…"

"I hope you're not about to apologize to me, Steve." It was the last thing she wanted or needed. "What happened between you and Tony was just that. I won't say that I liked picking up the pieces, but there aren't enough of us left now to carry old grudges."

He smiled that self-deprecating smile that Pepper knew he absolutely had no idea was something of a weapon. "I hate that we left things that way."

"He did too." Pepper stood, bottle and glass in hand. As she walked away, she stopped to put her hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'm glad you're here." She made her way back to the elevator but stopped, smirking to herself. "I don't like the beard though."

*****

In retrospect, flipping the bowl up in the air after he poured the eggs into the skillet hadn't been the best idea. Despite having lightning reflexes Peter still managed not to catch it. Thankfully it was plastic and only bounced, but he still felt like an idiot. It didn't help that when he stood back up to tend to the skillet, Nat was standing there with arms crossed, her messy bun obscuring the blonde tips she hadn't cut off of her hair.

"Since when do you eat anything other than Coco Puffs for breakfast?"

"It's Fruity Pebbles, and for your information…" he said as he pushed the eggs around as they cooked, "eggs don't need any added vitamins and minerals."

"Yeah, I know Chef Dumbass," Nat said as she helped herself to a cup of coffee. "But since when do you know how to cook eggs?"

"Pepper taught me." He stopped, eyes wide. When Nat rounded the counter and slid onto a bar stool with her mug, she was smirking. 

"Relax. You haven't slept in your bedroom for a year. Everyone knows, Peter."

"Uh…"

Nat actually laughed. She looked really pretty too, lighter somehow. Peter knew how hard she worked to coordinate what was left of the Avengers, and it weighed on him to know that he wasn't helping in any way. But he still wasn't ready. The suit wasn't perfect yet. If he couldn't fight someone like Thanos with or without it, there was no point. 

His eggs started to burn. 

"You better take care of that before it sets off the sprinklers."

"Shit!" He dumped the eggs into the disposal and ran water over the pan, letting the burned bits steam off. "Shit, shit… Um…"

"Hey… calm down."

"I just… Everyone knows? Really?" He knew he sounded pitiful, but Peter had really been content just to think they had a secret that no one could encroach on, that shut the rest of the world out. 

"Maybe not the raccoon?"

They both laughed, but Peter knew he was blushing. He cracked four more eggs into the bowl, two in each hand. "I just, like… I really…"

"Peter," Nat said from behind the rim of her coffee cup, "I literally cannot handle both of you talking to me about your sex lives, so carefully consider what you're going to say next, and make me an omelet. With mushrooms."

*****

Peter spent the majority of his time in the lab. With the college system still recovering from the snap, the majority of his freshman class telecommuted to MIT. No one wanted to leave whatever they had left. But he rarely came up to Pepper's office. That space was her own. The suite was technically still her own space too, but Peter had more or less moved into it sometime ago. She hadn't given much thought to formalizing it. Pepper couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in his room. 

But when he came into her office, unannounced, she was surprised enough to stand. "Peter?"

"Did you tell Nat about us?"

She sat down again, heavily, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Seriously?"

"I'm just… like… trying to have a healthy breakfast, and Nat comes in and is all… 'I can't handle hearing about your sex lives from both of you'... and I just… what the hell?"

She was afraid that if she let the silence stretch any longer between them, the moment would burst. Peter's body was tense, his face strained. He looked genuinely hurt, and Pepper chided herself for her impulse to laugh. She hadn't thought about his age--not practically, at least--in a while. 

"Peter, we all need someone to talk to…"

"But… Nat?" he clenched and unclenched his fists in a gesture of helplessness. "She's like… like a sister or something."

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose. Now would not be the time to bring up her past history with Natasha. She could see he was already spinning out, and that would push it past the point of control. 

"If Ned were here would you tell him?" If Ned were there, Tony would be too, and this conversation would not be happening. That hit Pepper in the chest, hurting more than she would admit. 

"Well, not… I mean, yes, but…"

"In detail? She looked up at him as she clasped her hands in front of her. 

"Not… everything." He looked away, shifting on his feet. "Okay, but…"

"It's different?" Pepper's voice was more stern than she meant it to be, but his blush made that worth it. 

"I'm sorry."

"Sit down." Pepper turned to face the window.

"I think I wanna stand."

She looked over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows. Peter sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. 

"Nat and I have… a long history." He blinked at her, and Pepper had to stop herself from sighing and wincing at the same time. She turned back to face him. "Sex. Peter, we've had sex. We weren't really together, just…" Pepper shook her head. There was so much he didn't know about her. There was an entire lifetime of experience that Peter had never had, might never had. And she wondered, not for the first time, what she was doing. 

Then again, the first time she had found herself in bed with Nat…Natalie. Then Natasha and Tony, she'd wondered the same thing. And somehow, that had worked out. She closed her eyes. But it hadn't, had it? Tony was gone. Nat could have been gone or Peter or even her. But letting this out felt like a significant moment. Pepper felt as if she were a string pulled taut, about to snap. She didn't want to lose anything else. 

"I can't do this alone," she said as she opened her eyes. He was staring at her intently, eyes wide. She could almost hear him thinking. 

"I'm here," Peter said, looking for everything like a kicked puppy. 

_Shit_ , Pepper thought. She turned back to the window and tugged at her blouse before turning back around, face a placid mask. "Peter, I can't do this right now."

He stood, pushing the chair back. "No… that's not okay. I mean… I want… I need to do this now."

This pushback came as a surprise. Peter had set his jaw, but he didn't look petulant, and Pepper's body responded inappropriately. She felt herself flush because of it. "Okay."

"I just thought… I didn't know we were telling people."

"Did you want a press conference?"

"I want to know you're not ashamed of me."

Pepper's frustration melted away, and she immediately went to Peter, pulling him into her arms. "I'm not ashamed of you," she said between kisses. She wasn't. Pepper had outgrown feeling ashamed of herself as soon as she got used to being called Pepper because of the freckles that dotted her face. 

Nat knew. Everyone in the compound knew. And the press wasn't what it used to be before Thanos snapped his fingers. But even that wasn't a sure thing. She had always been a private person. Managing Tony had made her even more private. His life had played out in tabloids and mainstream press alike, and she'd done a decent job of not getting her own entangled in that, not giving them anything to latch onto, until he made her CEO. Then, they'd dug deeper. And when she and Tony became a thing, it was worse. Now… she wanted to grieve alone. She wanted to believe no one cared about her pain, her choices, her process. But the truth was, she'd worked to keep what she and Peter had hidden through unconscious habits. 

"I don't want to share you," Pepper whispered as she ran her fingers through the hair curling slightly at his neck. That much was true. And it was all Peter needed. He kissed her deeply, seemingly satisfied with that much. It felt nice to give him something so simple, but Pepper knew that feeling wouldn't last. 

He'd gotten taller since the first time they did this. In stockinged feet, the tip of his nose touched just over the top of hers. But Pepper was in heels. He was still lean, toned, with the body of a dancer that hadn't quite grown out of his awkwardness yet. And it still thrilled her to have so much energy, seemingly limitless underneath her fingertips. 

"You sure, Miss Potts?" He whispered it, nuzzling underneath her ear. He knew what that did to her. She hated it, hated that she loved it. Always had. And she let a little sigh escape her throat, a silent, ghostly moan as he guided her back to one of her office chairs and sank to his knees when she sat. 

There was no grace in the way he pushed up her skirt. It would leave wrinkles, but Pepper didn't care. She lifted her hips while Peter pulled her panties off, stuffing them into the back pocket of his jeans. It was Peter's eagerness she wanted. Each time he tasted her, Pepper enjoyed it as if it were new. He kissed the insides of her thighs where she had begun to notice the slight dimpling of cellulite--a sign of aging even though she never skipped a leg day. It didn't seem to matter to Peter, though. He licked her pussy with the abandon of youth and greed that matched Pepper's own. 

When she came, Pepper curled her fingers into Peter's hair to pull him away. He would keep going. He would make her come again and again, if she could, if she'd let him. His pleasure had become linked to her own. If he came and she hadn't, he was ready again without any effort. 

“I shouldn’t be ashamed that I’m enjoying this so much,” she said as she ran her fingers through his hair, “but you are so… delicious when you’re like this.” 

He beamed up at her, eyes lit with pride. Any thought Pepper had about going back to work vanished. She pushed him down and slid on top of him, her skirt hiked even higher on her hips. She brushed her own hair out of her eyes. “If you’re going to fuck me in my office,” she said sternly, not disappointed when he immediately blushed, “then really fuck me in my office.”

He blushed and stammered, “Yesss, M….”

Pepper silenced him with a finger to his lips. Wide eyed, he fumbled his fly open, and Pepper did not give him the chance to kick out of his jeans. She shifted, guiding his cock inside of her and delighting at the way he moaned. With her finger still on his lips, Pepper began to move her hips, taking her time, enjoying the way he felt inside of her. When he began to suck her finger, she moaned. 

His eagerness, his desire for approval fighting with his own selfish lust still made her hot. She didn’t know how that would evolve and mature, but she wanted it. And Pepper felt a pang of guilt that she was more insatiable than she had been in a long time. And yet she didn’t stop. 

“Oh, shit,” Peter moaned. 

He was close—Pepper knew it, and she liked knowing that he was trying to hold off for her. She dipped her fingers between her legs, sighing into a moan as they slid to her clit. Peter trembled underneath her before he finally grabbed her hips, thrusting up into her with the force of his orgasm. And Pepper was not gentle with herself. She pinched her clit, circling it roughly until she came again. 

Afterwards, they both lay on their backs on the office floor. Pepper felt like she was in college again, for a little while at least. Finally, she got up and straightened herself out. She held out her hand for Peter and a slow, wide grin spread across his face. 

“Um, did you want these?” He pulled her panties from his back pocket. 

“Yes.”

“These? You want this particular pair?”

Pepper put a hand on her hip. “Peter, please give me my underwear back.”

He grinned, and when she tried to snatch them from his grasp, he moved too quickly, pinning her back against his chest, holding her close for a moment before making it to the door more quickly than he had any right to. 

“Have a good day, Miss Potts!” He called as he jogged to the elevator. 

Pepper smoothed her skirt again as she leaned against the desk, steadying herself. Her smile softened as lingering grief crept into the edges of her mind. 

Absently, she reached for the small pile of mail--the postal service had finally righted itself--sitting in one of the wire baskets on the edge of her desk. Rifling through it, Pepper stopped at a large envelope of thick stock. She slid her thumb through it, rather than finding a letter opener. 

_Ashes to Ashes: Fashion of the Apocalypse_

She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. There hadn't been a Met Gala since the snap, and were Ana there to oversee this one, Pepper felt confident this would not have been the theme. She almost put it aside for recycling, but Pepper stopped. The world was still healing, but now it was ready to start moving on. 

*****

Dress fittings being shuffled around had derailed Pepper's schedule enough that she found herself home early. She changed into joggers and one of Peter's sweatshirts and sat on the sofa with a glass of wine. She scrolled through emails and then the news for a little while, and then she flipped on the main television monitor. Apparently it was still a mirror of Peter's tablet, which was abandoned on the table, because a photo of his high school graduating class in caps and gowns was there instead of whatever he'd last been watching. 

Pepper sat up. She found Peter easily. His mortar board was a little crooked, and his smile...it looked like he was laughing. The photo was almost intimate, like an elite private school with deliberately small class sizes. But the reality of it clouded the eyes of each of the students, despite their smiles. Pepper took a deep breath. They all looked so _young_. A girl taller than Peter stood beside him, another in front of him. Pepper thought about her own graduation photos--awkward still in braces. Every young woman in the photo was pretty, nearly perfectly coiffed. And every one of them looked too young to be dating someone her age. Because they were. 

She groaned and put her face in her hands."What am I doing?"

When she dropped her hands, the faces were still there, smiles burning through her. But Pepper couldn't bring herself to take it off the screen. Instead she got up to refill her glass. Pepper thought about taking the bottle downstairs to Nat's room, but she remembered Nat was off doing god knew what with what was left of the Avengers. 

So, Pepper sat down on the sofa again and only hesitated a moment before picking up Peter's tablet. It didn't surprise her that it was unlocked. And as she scrolled through the pictures and videos--most before the snap--Pepper felt tears forming in her eyes. She blinked them away, or tried to at least. The weight of what they were doing, what _she_ was doing felt like it would crush her. 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to leave that up."

Pepper flinched violently, almost spilling her wine. "Peter." 

Pepper stood quickly, dabbing at her eyes with her fingers. She didn't want him to see her tears or try to comfort her. But Peter was coming to her anyway, ready to take her into his arms. His face had changed, softened in places and tensed in others with concern. He rounded the sofa, but before he could pull her to him, Pepper stepped away. She glanced at the screen, at Peter and a handful of others in yellow jackets.

"We should talk."

He knitted his eyebrows together, concern deepening. "Okay. What's...what's going on? I'm sorry I left my tablet lying around and…" He glanced around the room, eyes settling on his jacket hanging from the back of a chair, his shoes kicked off, the theoretical physics book he'd left open on the dinner table. "I can do better with keeping things neat."

"No." Pepper's throat was tight. "It's...Peter, we can't do this. We have to stop; I should have stopped us after the first time. "She forced the words out when they didn't want to come, and with each one, Pepper felt her heart wither a little more with grief. 

She watched the hurt blossom like a weed. He took a shaky breath. "Wh-what?"

"You should be with," Pepper said, glancing back to the screen again, eyes clouding, "someone your own age. You should...you're young. You've got your entire life ahead of you, and one day you'll realize that I'm getting old."

"I don't want someone my own age." Pepper could see the tears about to spill from his eyes. "Why are you even saying this? Because of some stupid pictures?"

"I'm saying it because it's true, because I should have said it much sooner." Pepper shook her head. Peter was crying openly now, eyes red rimmed already, and she was close. "I took advantage of...of the situation, and I can't...we can't…"

"No!" Peter grabbed the tablet and threw it over his shoulder. He swiped away the screen with one angry motion. "I want you...just you. I'm happy."

"But it won't last." And that's when Pepper broke. "Look at how you reacted to my past with Nat. Peter, you don't know anything about me. You're happy for now, but…"

"Pepper…" He took her in his arms before she could protest and held her tightly. Pepper knew he would let go if she tried to get away, but she didn't want to try. "I know you. I know everything I need to know. Your favorite color is white, which isn't anyone's favorite color because it's not really a color, but it's yours. You're stubborn and persistent, but you're also kind. You have patience when you need to, but you won't put up with bullshit. You don't like anyone to see you hurting, so sometimes you cry in the shower. But you keep getting up every day and doing your job and making the world better and putting up with me. That's all I need to know. You're all I want."

"Peter," she said, trying to swallow her own despair and guilt, "you can't know…"

"Stop." He pulled back slightly so he could look into her eyes. "Stop saying I can't know. I tried to help save the world from this, and I failed. I watched while Thanos got away and came here to do what he did. So, don't tell me I can't know what I want. I stopped being a kid the second Tony Stark turned to dust in front of me."

Pepper didn't know if his conviction was hurt or anger, but it was heartfelt. She put her head on his chest, closing her eyes and letting her tears fall. It wasn't fair to Peter not to let go of him now, but she couldn't. No. She _wouldn't_. Pepper wouldn't do what she knew was right, and that was her guilt to live with. But in his arms she felt a glimmer of peace, sanity, and she wanted to hold onto that. When she looked up again, he kissed her before she could speak. And Pepper gave up her argument, shoved it to the back of her mind. 

Where Pepper was frantic, wanting to take in every bit of Peter like she might lose him at any moment. And she would. Pepper knew she would. But that wasn't his fault. But Peter was measured, slowly undressing her. His hands lingered on her hips, on the little dimples--the ones that had appeared in the past few years--on the back of her thighs. He touched, kissed every one of what Pepper saw as her flaws, and the only thing she saw in his eyes was adoration. 

"You're so beautiful," he murmured as he gently pushed her back onto the sofa. 

"Don't."

"No, Pepper...let me."

"Let you believe I'll look like this forever?"

He kissed up her stomach and to her neck, underneath her ear. "You're perfect, Pepper. You'll always be perfect, no matter what you look like."

Pepper's cheeks felt sticky with dried tears, and Peter kissed away the new ones as they fell. He pushed into Pepper, and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer, just feeling him inside of her and his heartbeat against her chest. Peter stared into her eyes, and he moved his hips, thrusting slowly. Pepper couldn't look away. She couldn't bring herself to close her eyes, to glance away even for a second. Time stood still, and she let herself feel only Peter. But the guilt would always be there, waiting, only hiding superficially. And yet, Pepper wanted this, wanted him. And as her body shook with her orgasm, she pulled him close, breaking their gaze as she sobbed.


	5. I Love You

Peter had never worn an actual tux--like, an actual, honest to god, made for him tuxedo. It was probably the most expensive thing he'd ever had on his body. No, he thought better of that. His suit was without a doubt the most expensive thing he'd ever had on his body. But it was hard to think about it that way, as an expensive piece of apparel. It had become like a part of him--a part he still couldn't face. 

When he'd been getting ready that evening, he'd had to ask Nat for help with the cufflinks and the bowtie. Peter didn't even realize that there were bowties that actually needed to be tied. Who did that? What's the point when you could just clip it on? Nat had laughed at him in that low, sultry way she had that would have given him an instant boner two years before. It still got to him… just not instantly. 

"Getting dressed is an art, Peter," she'd said, as she finished the final of a set of incomprehensible movements that resulted in a bow. "There's something erotic about it." 

"Can we… _you_ not… with words like that…" 

"You're the one who tried to talk to me about your sex life." Nat smirked. Then she'd turned him to the mirror to look at himself. 

"Whoa…" He blinked and touched one of the cufflinks. "This is crazy."

Nat just winked and left him to his own devices. Pepper had an entire team of people, and Peter was pretty sure they'd actually sewed her into her dress. He didn't want to get anywhere near any of that. And now that he was actually on a red carpet with cameras flashing in his eyes as he stood next to Pepper Potts, a team of hairstylists or whatever didn't seem so bad.

There was some crazy shit going on, and Peter had no idea how some of the attendees could breathe or move or even function in their outfits. But Pepper stood out in a sea of blacks and greys and other dark colors. She wore a gauzy gown the color of a sunrise, oranges and reds and pinks and yellows in the flowing skirt fading up to a pale pinkbodice, matching his tux. He'd had to blink himself out of stupidity when he saw that the top was a deep V all the way down to her waist. 

And here, she had this easy confidence that made Peter even more in awe of her. He seriously began to wonder what she was doing on his arm. Tony Stark would probably be smiling and posing or making people laugh, while Peter knew he looked like a deer in headlights that Pepper was just dragging around.

"Smile," Pepper whispered into his ear. She slid her hand down his arm and twined her fingers with his, all the while smiling and posing, somehow acknowledging the people who were yelling her name. 

"Okay…" Peter was pretty sure that made him look even dumber. 

He was prepared to be relieved once they got away from the press and screaming people, but inside there were more photographers and still more people. The serving staff carrying trays of champagne flutes looked more at home than he felt, and that many pieces of stemware floating through a crowd gave him anxiety. How Pepper managed to grab two without tripping and sending all of them crashing to the ground was beyond him. 

"I...I'm not twenty-one," he stammered as she handed him one. 

"If you don't want to drink any, just pretend. Don't look so scared, Peter." She gave him a warm smile, warm enough to make Peter flush and forget the rest of the room for at least a full second. "You've faced worse than this."

He took a sip, then a gulp. Peter wasn't even sure how he should hold the glass--by the stem, the foot… was it even called that--and he got so lost in his thoughts that when he came back to himself, Pepper was kissing both of a woman's cheeks and talking in… not English. He heard his name and managed to smile. 

"Was that… Heidi Klum?"

"Tony tried to get her back to his hotel suite one year during Paris Fashion Week--he never missed that if he could help it." Pepper took a sip from her glass. "She ended up in my room instead."

Peter's vision narrowed to just Pepper, and he could hear his own blood rushing in his ears. He swallowed the contents of his glass, coughing as he shoved it into Pepper's empty hand. 

"I gotta… just… find a bathroom… So, I'll just…" He nearly knocked over a server with a tray of canapes as he whirled around to flee. 

When he made it into the men's room, he headed straight into a stall and slumped against the closed door. He hadn't realized just how unused to being around so many people he was. The city was different after the snap, especially that first year. His suit helped him deal with his heightened senses, but he hadn't needed that in the relative solitude of the compound. 

"Calm down, calm down, calm down," He whispered to himself. But if he closed his eyes all he could see was Pepper in bed with Heidi freaking Klum, and _that_ was absolutely not helping the situation. 

He felt like his more base instincts were under control when he went to find Pepper. Peter saw her across the room, laughing at something some guy with long hair and better makeup than an Instagram influencer was saying. And he felt jealousy--so unfamiliar in this context--but that was fleeting. More than that, he felt overwhelmed with how competent and easy she looked, how beautiful. It was obvious why anyone would love her and obvious why she'd end up with someone as charismatic and spontaneous as Mr. Stark. 

His heart was sinking at that thought, but Pepper turned, catching sight of him. Peter could have melted. The way her eyes lit when they connected on his was what he needed. She waved him over, and he smiled. He knew he could only be what he was. 

Later that night, he found himself alone in the exhibit. It was the last place he thought he'd find empty, but the silence was a much needed comfort. He could hear Pepper's footfalls long before she was behind him, and he closed his eyes when she wrapped her arms around him from behind. 

"Hey." She kissed the top of his ear. 

"Have you seen this stuff? That dress is made of gas masks."

Pepper laughed. "Overrated. Are you okay?"

He turned to her, taking her in again before saying, "Yeah. Just… needed a minute."

"Thank you." Pepper wrapped her arms around his neck. 

"For what?"

"For being here." She leaned in for a kiss, which Peter was all too happy to give. "It won't be much longer. I'm way too eager to get you home and out of that tuxedo."

Peter couldn't help but laugh. "Me too, and not just because I have no idea how to get out of it myself."

*****

When Peter woke up the next morning, he wasn't surprised to find the space beside him empty. Pepper was an early riser, and it seemed like that stuck no matter what time she'd gotten home the night before. He always slept through her getting out of bed--spider senses and all--and sometimes even through her shower before she went upstairs to work. It was always nice to wake up, roll over and breathe in the scent of her shampoo on her pillow. 

He slid out of bed, pulling on a pair of faded pajama pants and headed toward the kitchen. It also didn't surprise him that he could hear the sound of voices coming from the living room. She always had something up--talking heads, world news, the stock exchange. Peter had come to realize that if Pepper was alone, at least part of her mind was always working. 

He didn't think too much of the four screens, one of them larger and with sound on, as he went into the kitchen to grab coffee and a breakfast bar. Pepper hadn't heard him yet. 

"...topping the best dressed list in a radical departure from most of the night's dark numbers."

"I love it. No one said we're all going to be wearing garbage bags after the apocalypse, and frankly, few people have done more than Pepper Potts to turn all of this around. It was the perfect statement."

"Speaking of statements, let's talk about Pepper's hot date…" 

Peter stopped pouring milk into his coffee and nearly dropped the carton. 

"Hot indeed. It looks like Pepper has had no problem moving on from Tony Stark…"

"Well, why wouldn't she? She runs Stark Industries, she was probably the beneficiary of his will…" Peter winced at this. "Pepper has got a hot young thing."

"Emphasis on young." The three people on the screen laughed. 

"Good for her. Look at that body. She deserves it."

"Okay, but it's not just that… We did some digging, and it seems the mysterious Peter Parker was one of Tony Stark's mentees."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…"

Peter put the milk down and left the kitchen. He went to the sofa, standing behind her, and stared at all of the screens. The other three seemed like similar programs, at least from what he read from the closed captions. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., end playback."

Pepper flinched. "Oh my god, Peter, how long have you been there?"

He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Why do you watch this crap?"

"Old habits." She shrugged. She picked up the remote and the display returned, this time with all of the screens at their small size with the captions on. "You made the best dressed list."

Peter didn't understand what drove her to do this, but he knew it wasn't just him. He'd seen Pepper do it with Tony, with herself, with the Avengers. She always seemed to be consuming what people were saying about those in her orbit. It wasn't that urge that mystified him. That was, in fact, the only thing he really understood about it. It was basic human nature to want to know what everyone else was saying about you. It was the fact that she never seemed to react positively or negatively--that he could see--to any of it. It was like she filed it away in some secret space, and he didn't know if she kept it there as a way to protect herself or what. 

He went back to his coffee and took the cup to Pepper, and he took her empty one to fix another for himself. Without interrupting Pepper again, Peter pulled on a shirt and made his way down to the lab. While he drank his coffee, Peter ran through the general maintenance routines for his suit. It was more of a meditation than anything now. Nothing changed, nothing got damaged. The suit either hung suspended or was a swirl of nanoparticles waiting to be formed. 

It would be easy to think Pepper was sitting up there replying every stupid thing he'd done the night before in her mind. That's what he was gearing up to do, but Peter knew she wasn't. He knew she was doing whatever she was doing, tucking bits and pieces of information away, and probably not giving him a second thought. He'd asked her if she was ashamed of him, and she'd responded by showing the entire world that she was, in fact, not ashamed of him. Peter hadn't exactly been pushing her to call his bluff because he couldn't bluff his way out of a wet paper bag. But he hadn't expected to wind up in the public eye as… himself. 

"Karen, bring up the footage."

"You'll have to be more specific, Peter. I've recorded approximately…"

"No, Karen...come on. You know I don't care how much footage you've taken. You know what I'm talking about. Titan. Bring up the footage from Titan."

"Are you sure?"

By this point Peter had gotten used to the deeply unsettling realness of Karen's programming. In fact, he hadn't even noticed it much at first. But that's probably what Mr. Stark had intended. Now, he was just annoyed. "Remind me why I haven't reprogrammed you to be a coffeemaker yet? No. Don't do that. Show me the footage from Titan… please," he added quietly. 

The view from his suit shimmered to life in front of him. Before it could start playing, Peter took manual control of the playback, advancing it quickly with his finger. The view widened when his mask retracted.

Peter had watched all of this before--the fight with Quill and his people, their preparations for Thanos. He'd watched his own failure to remove the gauntlet at least a thousand times in various states of playback. But he always stopped when Thanos disappeared. He could relive the failure for the rest of his life. It hurt, but that was what he wanted. He wanted the reminder that Spider-Man had failed, that there was no point putting on that suit again. He didn't want to relive what came next. 

He stopped and scrubbed his face hard with his palms, trying to work up the courage. His throat was too dry to say it, so Peter manually pressed play. And even before the moment where everyone started turning to dust, Peter's eyes welled with tears. That feeling of helplessness washed over him. And then there was Mr. Stark, disintegrating in his arms. 

"You'll be okay, kid…"

"Shut it off. Just shut it off, Karen."

He wasn't okay. He wasn't sure he would ever be okay. Peter felt just as helpless and angry as he did that day on that rooftop when Tony Stark had taken away his suit. And here he was, not living up to those expectations again. Peter knew that until he could put that suit on again, until he could go on as Spider-Man, just as he'd done as Peter Parker, he wouldn't really be whole enough to be the person Mr. Stark thought he was. 

*****'

When he went back early in the afternoon, Peter expected to find the suite empty, but Pepper's stilettos were near the sofa where she'd toed them off--one standing and one on its side, yet still managing to look neat somehow. He stopped, about to call out, but he realized he could hear a voice. As he made his way to the bedroom, the hope rising in him once he realized it was Tony was quickly overwhelmed with the grief he'd barely managed to control earlier. 

Peter stood in the hallway, eyes screwed shut and his fist pressed to his lips. His throat was so constricted that every breath was painful, but he couldn't bring himself to put one foot in front of the other. 

"Miss Potts, tell us who you're wearing tonight."

"Miss Potts, unlike many of the guests tonight," Tony said over other voices, "chose to celebrate modern Chinese design as an interpretation of tonight's theme, and she is wearing a lovely silk...satin...very expensive and delicate fabric embroidered with a...fancy goose."

"It's a peacock, Tony, thank you."

Despite his tears, Peter laughed quietly. He found it in himself to stop skulking in the hall. Pepper was on the bed, legs curled underneath her, lightly chewing on one of her nails as she watched the video on her tablet. When she noticed him standing in the doorway, hands in his pockets, she stopped it. Her look was hard to read for Peter. There was the grief he knew all too well, but there was also something else, a wistfulness that he'd never seen. 

"Don't…" He had to swallow to make his voice come out without strain. "Don't turn it off."

She paused, her face unreadable again, but then she shifted, patting the bed beside her. He kicked off his sneakers and settled next to Pepper, his heart swelling as she leaned against his arm. 

"You're sure?" she asked, glancing up at him.

"Yeah…" He pressed play on the tablet. Seeing Tony there made him ache, but Pepper snuggled closer, her eyes on the screen.

"I'm wearing Versace, by the way…" Tony called as Pepper dragged him away from the camera.

"He was such an asshole on red carpets." She sighed. "But his ass looked great in that suit."

"Yeah," Peter said before he thought about it. "I mean...uh...it's, it's a really nice suit."

"Peter," Pepper said firmly, shifting so that she was looking into his eyes, "you don't need to walk that back." She touched his cheek, which was burning, as usual. But the tenderness in her touch, the light in her eyes steadied him.

" I just...can we watch more?"

Pepper swiped to a video of Tony making his entrance into one of the Stark Expos. Peter remembered seeing him as a kid, and he blushed even deeper. Tony Stark was a functioning adult. Making grand entrances, being a hero...fucking Pepper before Peter could tie his shoelaces without repeating the bunny thing that May had taught him. 

"He couldn't follow a teleprompter to save his life," Pepper murmured. But Peter could see that she was smiling softly.

"Seriously? That wasn't written down?"

"He went off the rails after about...the third line."

"He's just so…"

"Talented? Insufferable?" Pepper smirked as she looked at him. "Hot?"

"H-hot," Peter repeated.

"Someone had a crush on Tony." She was walking her fingers up his arm playfully, giving him goosebumps. Peter felt the grief dull, as it did every time they both acknowledged that they missed him, that they were hurting. But this, this was even better. 

"Had, yeah…" Peter licked his lips, eyes on Tony as he flashed a smile. He missed that brilliant smile, one he'd give anything to see again in front of him. "Have...actually."

Pepper massaged the back of his neck. "Me too, kid."

He shivered--her touch, hearing that come out of her mouth. Peter bit his lip, shifting, trying to hide that he was hard. Pepper noticed, though. She always did. When she propped the tablet on a pillow, Peter didn't think much of it--putting her hand down her pants was absolutely not what he expected to happen next though.

The way Pepper looked at him told Peter not to speak, so he swallowed the half formed questions on the tip of his tongue. He watched her, wide eyed and with Tony's voice in his ear. Time seemed to slow down. He could hear Pepper's breath, see the sheen of sweat on her forehead and her chest. If he concentrated, he could almost feel her heartbeat.

And behind it all, Tony's voice--affable, self-assured. Peter scrambled to undo his jeans, and as Pepper watched him through half lidded eyes, he realized this was exactly what she wanted. His breath stuttered, and he let himself fall back into the pillows. He was so hard, so ready to come. One touch of Pepper's hand, her lips, would do it. But Peter tried to let the thought of that fall away. 

His instinct was to close his eyes, but instead, he turned his head to watch Pepper. Her face was flushed and her head tilted back. Tony's voice, cheering, Pepper's breath… Peter swallowed a moan. He didn't want to break the moment, to change it in any way. 

He touched himself like he would if he were alone, coming close to climax and pulling back again and again. He knew when Pepper got close, they way her breath changed, hitched a little with each inhale. Her mouth opened, a whimper escaped and became a moan. She arched, and Peter lost himself. She was so beautiful, even more so when she completely abandoned herself.

And Peter Parker had no idea how he was the one there beside her, hand sticky, pants a mess. But he was, and Tony Stark's voice sounded through the haze of his climax like a dream. Pepper reached out to him, and he breathed in the scent of her pussy when she touched his lips. Peter took her hand and kissed her fingers. Then he picked up the screen.

"Was that...weird?"

Pepper chuckled. "Don't."

The video ended and another started to play--Peter wondered if this was a personal collection or some YouTube spiral. In this one, Tony stood at a podium. The camera panned to the gaggle of reporters gathered, and Peter realized this was _the_ interview. But something else caught his eye. He scrolled the video back to the audience and paused it.

"That's you. Wow, you look so…"

"Don't say 'young'." Pepper's voice was flat, but her eyes laughed. 

"I was going to say hot, but that too." He grinned as she slapped his arm. She did look younger, but that wasn't it. Pepper looked different, standing in the back, just watching. "So," he said, pressing play again, "that definitely wasn't scripted."

"I am Iron Man? No. I could have killed him. The fires I had to put out after that…"

"Yeah? Because you look kinda proud right now."

Pepper's smile grew. "I am...was."

"I really miss him."

"Me too, Peter."

Peter sighed as he wrapped an arm around her. They sat in silence for a while, just watching, taking Tony in. It felt good to hold her like this and to know that she could share this with him, that he could be a part of her past in a small way.

*****

When she saw Rhodey's reflection in the mirror, Pepper put down the free weights she'd been using and turned around. He leaned easily against the door frame, arms crossed. 

"Hey. I didn't know you were back," she said as she pulled out a mat and started her stretches. It had occurred to Pepper off and on that without Tony to cajole and rescue, she and Rhodey had drifted somewhat, though not in an uncomfortable way. 

"Just for a couple of days." He pushed off the frame and walked in a few steps, putting his hands in his pockets. "Saw you've been in the news lately."

"I wouldn't call Page Six news." 

"Pep…"

"Rhodey?" She leaned back, bracing her palms against the floor. "Don't give me that look, and don't start lecturing me. That window closed a long time ago."

He sighed, looking to the ceiling briefly before focusing on her again. "We've all been dealing--or not--in our own ways. Don't get me wrong… I fully appreciate that you aren't out there wiping out cartels with a sword, but I sort of thought this wasn't going to be a thing."

"A thing?" She held out one of her hands and he took it, grip firm as always, to help her up. 

"Look, I think it's safe to say a lot of us have ended up in bed with questionable partners in the past two years. I'm not judging… but it seems like the rest of the world is. Do you really want this to be your image?"

"Would we be having this conversation if I were Tony?" she asked pointedly. 

He put his hands on his hips, frowning. "Not as rationally."

"And he probably wouldn't be as polite as I'm going to be. The media fixation will pass. Our stock is fine. I'm coping. I'm happy. And beyond that, it's none of your business."

"I guess I deserved that."

"Yeah." Pepper put a towel over her shoulder and smiled. "You did."


	6. Found Family

Pepper watched Nat pick up a head of iceberg and toss it between her hands. Before she got the idea to juggle them, Pepper grabbed it and put it back.

"Why are we grocery shopping again?"

"Steve suggested dinner with everyone while the racoon and Nebula are still here." Pepper pushed the cart forward, stopping at the kale. "He offered to shop, but between us, his tastes are a little...pedestrian."

"He likes tap water. Who drinks tap water?" Peter asked as he popped a grape into his mouth. "Hey did he try to like...ask you guys how you were and get you to go to his group thing? Because a while back, I literally had to shove cheese into my mouth to avoid that one."

Pepper and Nat exchanged knowing glances before Pepper said, "He got me in the elevator." She straightened her posture until she was rigid and deepened her voice. "Pepper, I know this can't be easy for you. You know you're welcome to come and talk. Everything is confidential."

Peter's eyes grew as wide as saucers, making him look so young. "Whoa...did you...wow...that sounded _just_ like him."

Nat smirked. "He's too scared to ask me."

"Yeah, I bet he thinks you'll punch him," Peter said, grinning. He grabbed a bag of radishes and tossed them into the cart as they moved on.

"He's probably scared you'll actually go." Pepper seamlessly transitioned the cart to Nat and pulled up the list she'd made on her phone. "So, I was thinking salmon…"

"No one wants salmon for family dinner." Nat's voice was flat

_Ouch_ , Peter mouthed, immediately looking contrite when Pepper glared at him. She wished she'd had the groceries delivered instead of taking this ill-conceived trip. It was good to do something besides work, something outside of the compound. It felt so painfully normal, but Pepper realized even in these moments she missed Tony. Doubtless he wouldn't have gone grocery shopping with her, but he would absolutely text her at least three things he wanted just as she was getting ready to check out.

"Then what would you suggest?"

Peter turned, walking backwards in front of the cart. "You said the salmon wasn't up for discussion."

"It isn't," Pepper said firmly. The _for you_ was implied.

Peter nearly tripped over himself as they stopped in front of the fish counter. "Salmon sounds great."

Pepper smiled as she touched his cheek. She just caught Nat waggling her eyebrows at him out of the corner of her eye. 

"Peter, I forgot lemons. Will you go grab some?"

"Sure thing."

As he trotted away, Nat cracked an imaginary whip before laughing. "You taking that to the bedroom?"

"None of your business--thank you very much." Pepper looked back to the fish counter and sighed. "Let's go to the butcher. This doesn't look fresh."

"Since when do you know whether salmon is fresh? You never cooked for me."

"That's because Tony had a fully staffed kitchen and either ate pizza or hamburgers when he managed to actually have a meal." Pepper glanced at Nat over her shoulder and smirked. "Besides, you never asked."

"You're a woman of many talents, Pepper Potts."

"At least someone recognizes it." She was kidding, of course. Though Tony had rarely recognized it in so many words, he knew Pepper's value. And Peter...everything Pepper did seemed to delight him and mystify him in almost equal turns. And it was still refreshing, still sweet. And it still made her want to take all of his clothes off and have her way with him. "Nat, do you have any idea why Steve is doing this...family dinner thing?"

"I suspect he feels like we're all...disillusioned, spread thin, pushing ourselves too hard…" Nat shook her head, stopping in front of the meat counter. 

"Are we?"

"Who the fuck knows. Probably. Look at you--taking Peter public while I sit at a table putting out fires…I guess Steve wants us to all know we're still a family."

Pepper didn't know what to say to that, and she was saved from it by Peter jogging up with a bag of lemons. Had they even been a family before Thanos? Pepper wouldn't have said so.   
Tony had still been tortured by what happened with Steve after the Accords. Healing that would have taken time. 

"Okay, so I got lemons."

"And you took a detour to the chip aisle?" Nat asked, nodding at the huge bag of Funions under his arm. 

"Peter, seriously…" Pepper said. 

"Hey...I am a...grown man. With needs. And...I...I need Funions." Pepper watched him look to Nat for some kind of help, but Nat wasn't having it. 

"I'm not involving myself in this. Where's the wine section?"

Peter wrinkled his brow. "Have you ever actually been to a grocery store?"

"Does it count if I was knocking down the back wall with a tank?"

Pepper had no idea if Nat was serious. Given her history, she probably was. She caught Peter's look--an evolution from surprise to horror to interest--before walking on. If they took long enough, dinner might not be a possibility, which meant Steve would hound them the next night or the one after that. He had not, thankfully, discovered the utility of a group text. Yet... 

*****

Peter thought it was nice to have everyone gathered around the table, dishes of food in the center family style. Looking over it all as he took his seat, he felt a twinge in his heart, though. It made him think of May and how, even though it was only the two of them, she insisted on sitting down to a meal together at least a few times a week. He pushed it away, though, as he often did thoughts of May, because that loss was just as overwhelming as losing Tony. And tonight, everyone was upbeat.

Pepper touched his shoulder as she slid into the chair next to him, and Peter smiled. It was nice to see her relaxed, her hair in a ponytail and a glass of wine in her hand. But he knew she was never completely herself when the Avengers were, well, assembled. There was a lot of history there--he knew that even if she mostly left it unsaid. 

He was about to speak when Cap cleared his throat and stood. 

"Thank you, everyone, for taking the time tonight. And thanks to Pepper for preparing the meal."

"Hey, I grilled those steaks," Rhodey interjected. 

"He did...and made the pie too." Pepper raised her glass of wine to him.

"Well...thanks to everyone who had a hand in it. Now, I'd like to start off the way we used to in my day...with a blessing. Peter, would you like to do the honors?"

Peter blinked, surprised to hear his name at all. This wasn't grilled cheeses and canned tomato soup, so he definitely hadn't had a hand in cooking it. And when Cap's words caught up to him, he felt himself blushing. 

"Oh, I...wow. Thanks...thank you for the...honor, Mr. Captain America. Wow. I just don't think…"

"Yeah, Peter. How about it," Nat cut in. He hated her in that moment for having the ability to look completely serious while simultaneously projecting a shit eating grin with just her eyes. He hoped the look he gave her was withering. Somehow, Peter doubted it. 

"Okay…" Peter stood slowly as he searched his memories as Cap bowed his head. There had to be some movie he'd seen that covered this. "Um...God is great, Good is good...God is better than Robin Hood… Uh, thanks for the food...amen."

He dropped back into his chair quickly, only to look over to see Pepper hiding her face in her arm on the pretense of coughing when she was really barely controlling her laughter. 

"I fail to see the point of this exercise," Nebula said from her seat. Peter could see Cap take a breath, getting ready to explain, but Pepper got there first.

"Neither do a lot of others," Pepper said pointedly, surprising the hell out of Peter. Sure, she wasn't shy about her opinions, but usually she was pretty diplomatic in these settings. 

"Hey, so can someone pass the mac n cheese?" Peter asked quickly. "It's so crazy...Pepper makes this out of cauliflower--like...what even. But it's so good."

From there, things went without incident. It was nice to laugh, to forget the world had changed so much for a little while. But for Peter, those moments were fleeting. With Nebula sitting across from him, his mind kept going back to the ship. She was quiet, gruff and matter-of-fact. She hadn't shown any sign of deperation when it seemed like they were destined to asphyxiate in space. She also hadn't shown much compassion, but Peter figured out that was because she hadn't seen much compassion in her life. She told him that in battle, there were casualties. And that was that. He had wished he could feel so free of blame; he still did. 

When they were finished, Peter didn't object to Nat and Cap clearing the table. Everyone lingered for a little while. It actually surprised him that Pepper was having a serious discussion about space travel with Rocket. But it gave him the opportunity to slip away after Nebula had. 

"Hey," Peter said, hesitating for only a moment when he found her outside on the patio. Nebula didn't respond, but she didn't tell him to go away either. So, Peter took that as a good sign. "I, uh, never really got a chance to thank you."

"For what?"

"Getting me on that ship...keeping me alive, I guess. I was…" He let out a sigh and looked up at the sky like it would tell him how to say what he wanted to say. "I don't know. I probably would have just stayed there...on Titan. Given up. So...thanks for not letting me."

Nebula looked over at him, and it felt like she was really examining him, appraising him. Peter shifted. 

"You're...welcome."

"So, uh," he began after a silence that lasted a little too long, "what'd you think of family dinner?"

"Family?"

Peter shrugged. "It's weird, but...yeah, I think that's what it was...what we all are."

She nodded thoughtfully in response. "It was interesting."

"You can say that again."

"Why?"

"Oh, no, it's just...an expression, like, um...you know what, never mind." Peter shifted again. On the ship, he'd vacillated between numbness and grief. Now, he just felt awkward, but he also felt like maybe Nebula did too. She'd spent dinner mostly quiet, looking sullen. But Peter thought--at least he hoped he wasn't making it up--that it was maybe because she felt like she didn't fit in. There probably weren't a lot of family dinners with Thanos as a dad. He shivered at the thought. "You and Rocket should come back more often. It's...cool to have you here."

She nodded, and after a minute or two, Peter turned to go. He realized he liked Nebula, and while he might not have known what it was like to be raised by a galaxy class psychopath, he did know tragedy and what it was like to feel like you didn't have a place. So, he wanted to make a better effort. 

"Peter," Nebula said, looking over her shoulder, "I'm glad you did not die."

"Thanks…" _I think_.

*****

When they were getting ready for bed--Peter brushing his teeth and Pepper gently dabbing night cream under her eyes with her pinkie fingers--Pepper could tell something was on Peter's mind. She glanced over at him, trying to decide if she'd let him work it out on her own or force it out of him. Thankfully, he made the decision for her. 

"What's the deal with you and Cap?" he asked after spitting then rinsing out the sink. 

Pepper sighed. How many times had she tried to put this into words for Tony? But this was different. Peter wasn't asking her to accept something he prioritized that left her, at best, in a constant state of low level anxiety. "It's complicated."

"Uh...that's kinda obvious."

Buying herself time, Pepper walked into the bedroom, Peter following. He began to turn down the bed with her in an easy routine that she hadn't really realized had become a routine. 

"You were there for the aftermath--some of it, at least--of the Accords," she said as she got into bed. 

Peter slid in beside her. "Yeah, but because Tony asked, well, _told_ me to. I didn't really have a stake in the fight. I was doing it for him."

Pepper smiled as she settled into his arms, her ear against his chest where she could hear the steady pulse of his heartbeat. "Steve is a good man--loyal to a fault. But that loyalty is above all to what he thinks is right. And...to be fair, you could say that Tony is...was the same way." She felt Peter nod. "Everyone was there for the public fallout of the Avengers, but watching Tony deal with it privately, helping him pick up the pieces…" she shook her head. "It changed him, and I guess I haven't entirely forgiven Steve for causing Tony that much angst."

"Yeah, but…" Peter ran his fingers through her hair absently. "Do you think Tony would have still felt...I don't know...some kind of resentment, even now."

"Especially now." She knew Tony. Sometimes, Pepper thought, she knew him better than he knew himself. And he would ask himself if this had happened because of the split. He would analyze his every move culminating in the fight with Thanos and agonize over what he could have done better, what he should have done better. And Tony would expect Steve to do the same all the while resenting Steve's part in all of it. 

"Yeah." Peter's voice was quiet, thoughtful. "Yeah, I can see that."

Despite those old wounds threatening to rip completely open again, Pepper had enjoyed the night. It was nice to relax, to try to forget. And now, she wanted to hold onto the airiness she'd almost felt. "Nice blessing, by the way." She smirked against Peter's chest. 

"Oh my god." Peter shifted, reaching to turn out the lamp. "I panicked!. I've literally never said a blessing before eating in my life."

"Yeah, but," Pepper said as she rolled onto her other side and felt Peter shift his body against hers, "you should have seen Steve's face."

"I'm so glad I didn't."

She closed her eyes and chuckled. "Tony would have loved it."


	7. Bottle Service

The sun was setting, lighting the tops of the clouds brilliant yellow to orange just before they would begin to darken. Peter glanced at it out of the corner of his eye, letting it distract him from his screen, where he had too many windows open anyway. One was a chapter of his dissertation. The rest were calculations and sources and raw data that he was switching between constantly. He realized, as his mind wandered, that he could feel Pepper's eyes on him, and when he looked up, she was smiling. 

"Tony's shirt looks good on you," she said. 

He looked down at the faded image of Bruce Lee on his chest and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "It's a classic."

Pepper smirked and went back to whatever work she'd been doing. Peter was happy to watch her, but that would get creepy after about ninety more seconds. He'd been tagging along on some of her work trips because it was something to do, a change of scenery, and she didn't seem to mind. But Pepper was always focused in a way he admired. 

It had felt too weird to take Tony's things out of the closet and dresser drawers when he finally moved all of his stuff to the suite. It wasn't much of a move. He'd been leaving this and that there for nearly three years, but Pepper had asked him if he wanted to, officially, and that was that. So, he'd just moved the tailored suits to the back of the closet to make room for his own tailored suits. There were a lot of black tees and then the vintage shirts that Pepper threw on sometimes. It didn't seem worth sorting them out from his own stuff at some point, so Peter just didn't. And if he really admitted it to himself, it was a comfort that Pepper didn't freak out whenever she noticed him in something of Tony's. 

"You're staring at me." Pepper didn't even look up. She was nibbling on the top of a pen. 

"I'm doing mental math while my eyes are pointed in your direction."

She rolled her eyes, and Peter laughed. He put his tablet away before getting up to stretch. Then he stepped behind Pepper's seat, put his hands on her shoulders and began to knead the knots there. He heard her sigh, and after a minute, she put one of her hands over his. 

"Hey, take a break."

She shook her head as she glanced up at him. "I want to get through this before we land...so I can sleep tonight."

Peter leaned down, kissing her softly. It never ceased to amaze him that he was kissing Pepper Potts so casually. "You thought we were sleeping tonight?"

"Stop it." She swatted at him playfully. 

He went to the bar to pour himself a glass of orange juice and brought Pepper back a bottle of seltzer. The rest of the flight was uneventful in that Peter fell asleep only to jolt awake as soon as they touched down. He'd gotten marginally used to the type of luxury Pepper preferred when she traveled. She didn't need the biggest suite or bottle service or whatever it was that he thought people with too much money always wanted. Everything was just a level of _nice_ that he hadn't really known existed. 

Not long after they were settled in the hotel room, he heard the shower running. Peter had opened his notes to do some more work on his chapter. It was more of a formality than anything. His work had been successful, and writing this was the last step in becoming Dr. Peter Parker MIT grad at twenty and his own division of Stark Industries R&D. 

"Peter…" Pepper's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and before he could answer, she called, "Can you bring me my shampoo? I think it's in the outer pocket of my suitcase."

He not only found the shampoo but also shed his clothes on his way to deliver it. The bathroom was steamy--even luxury hadn't bought an adequate fan--when he slipped into the shower behind Pepper. He was already hard when he wrapped his arms around her, pressing into her as he kissed her neck. 

"Bottle service, Miss Potts," he whispered. 

"Is that what this is?" Pepper turned in his arms and kissed him, but when they broke for a breath, Peter turned her around again. 

He squeezed some of the shampoo into his hands and gently began to work it through Pepper's hair, massaging her scalp. The little moan of pleasure she made as he worked up suds made his breath catch in his throat. Peter took his time, let her enjoy it, despite wanting nothing more than to pick her up, press her into the marbled wall, and fuck her. 

After washing the shampoo out, Peter leaned Pepper against his chest and began to kiss her neck as he wrapped his arms around her and cupped her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingertips. He thought about asking if she wanted to finish her shower, take things to the bedroom, but Peter didn't want to wait.

"Lean forward," he whispered, slipping his hands down to Pepper's hips. As she braced herself against the wall, he slid his cock into her. 

Peter didn't restrain his own moan. He didn't restrain himself at all, loving how hot and wet Pepper was as he thrust into her. The heat and steam and steady sound of the water falling on them seemed to fade away. All he could feel was Pepper, hear her ragged breath and soft moans. He was vaguely aware of her hand between her legs, fingers stroking her clit. 

He could have come then, but he tried to hold off as long as he could, bringing himself as close to the edge of his climax as possible, then pulling back slowly as she touched herself. Her heartbeat, her breath, the water beading on her skin, her body close around his cock… Peter couldn't hold out any longer, and he thrust into Pepper, almost fantic, as he came. He held her close, hands on her breasts as she leaned against him. Her head rested against his shoulder, and he could see that her eyes were closed, mouth slightly open. He felt her body shudder as she came, and when she finished, he opened his lips for her fingers, sucking them gently. 

Later that night, Pepper fell asleep first, lying on her side with her wet hair twisted up onto the pillow behind her. Peter glanced over at her and put his tablet down so he could go turn her bedside light off. He resisted the urge to get back into bed and just hold her. Pepper liked her space while she slept, and he had more work to do anyway. What Peter didn't resist was the urge to whisper that he loved her. She wouldn't hear it, so she couldn't tell him that he couldn't know that yet. 

That's what she'd said the first time Peter had said it to her. It had been in bed after the third night he'd spent with her. He'd blurted it out, instantly regretting saying it outloud, but she hadn't laughed. She'd just touched his face and told him that. Peter didn't dwell on it. She'd probably been right, except he did love her. He knew that with absolute certainty now. The way Pepper kissed him, the way her eyes lit when he came into a room, even stupid little things like the way she straightened the hand towel in their bathroom after he'd left it askew told him that she loved him too. But he wanted to let her say the words when she felt like it was time. Waiting was hard, though. 

*****

It seemed important to hold a sustainability and innovation conference in a country where many of the ideas being presented or even tested were being put to use. It also was a signal that the world was moving on, maybe doing better. That was mostly the reason Pepper was there. It was important to show up rather than send someone in her stead. 

The amount of security did not surprise her. Bad actors would always take advantage of chaos. In some parts of the world, it meant the rise of dictatorial governments. In others, the cartels regrouped more quickly than anyone else did. She stood at a slim podium with a holographic projection of a new hydroelectric plant design floating in the air beside her. Backstage, Peter made sure the tech worked, which was an endeavor that Pepper was sure took less than a percent of his brain power. Last she'd seen him, he'd been playing a retro version of Pac Man on his phone. 

Her speech was projected through her contact lenses, but she'd already memorized it. Pepper was prepared for the changes and manipulations she had to make to the hologram. What she wasn't prepared for was the explosion and the sound of gunfire. She dropped to the ground, whether out of instinct or the searing pain in one of her thighs, she wasn't sure. There was smoke and screaming. She had blood in her eyes. Time seemed to slip, going both slowly and skipping ahead too quickly. But Pepper felt herself being dragged from the stage, someone holding her arms too tightly. 

She was calling for Peter. She thought she was, at least. It took tortuous moments to realize she wasn't being dragged away anymore, and that the flash of red and blue she saw was Spider-Man. 

*****

"...and officials speculate that the attack was an effort to stop planned infrastructure updates…"

Peter groaned. "F.R.I.D.A.Y, mute." He sank onto the sofa, albeit gingerly, beside Pepper. "Seriously, why do you do this?"

Pepper rolled her eyes and put down the mug of tea she'd been sipping. She still looked a little pale, but even a superficial head laceration could cause a lot of blood loss--at least that's what Peter reminded himself. 

"Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked. "Didn't the doctor say you should keep your leg elevated?" He was already starting to stack pillows under her. 

"Peter." Pepper's tone was firm enough that he stopped and looked her in the eyes. 

"You could have died." His own voice seemed distant to him, and Peter felt a lump form in his throat. He hadn't said it outloud. Neither of them had. Because the prospect of losing Pepper too was too overwhelming for him to process. So, in the two days they'd been back at the compound, he just...didn't process it. 

"But I didn't," she said softly, her eyes still holding his. "Because Spider-Man was there. _You_ were there. It wasn't just luck that you had the nanotech for the suit."

He rubbed the back of his neck. It wasn't luck. Any time they were out, especially on her trips, he brought it. Peter told himself that it was because he could tinker with it while they traveled. He did, sometimes, at least. But when he'd heard Pepper screaming his name, he hadn't thought.

Peter realized Pepper was staring at him. The silence had gone on too long, and he looked down at his hands. 

"I'm not going to push you to talk about it. But…you had the suit, Peter. You could have done what you did without it. I would have been fine. But you saved a lot of people because you had the suit."

"I had the suit on Titan too." The silence hung too long, the moment growing bloated and heavy, making Peter finally look away. "How am I supposed to help anyone now as Spider-Man if I couldn't prevent any of this from happening?" He hated the way his voice broke. He hated that he couldn't look at Pepper as he said it. "Mr. Stark said I shouldn't have the suit if I wasn't something without it. I couldn't even save you without it."

"Peter…" Pepper touched his arm, but he didn't turn to her. He couldn't. Then he felt her hands on his cheeks, turning his face. Their noses touched, and she held him there firmly. "Tony wasn't perfect...far from it."

"I let him down. I let everyone down."

"Stop." He tried to turn away, but she held him there, and then she kissed him. It was so tender, and then she was holding him, melting into his arms. And Peter realized he was crying, holding her tight, her shirt balled in his fists as he sobbed on her shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," he said, voice strangled. "I'm sorry it was me instead of him."

He realized that Pepper was crying too. She was clinging to him too. Peter wasn't sure how long it had been when they pulled apart. Pepper sniffed and started laughing, and he couldn't help but laugh too. But tears were still spilling down her cheeks. 

"I love you," she said before kissing him lightly. "Spider-Man or not."


	8. Time Doesn't Wait

Nat had her leg looped over the arm of the sofa as she drained the rest of her wine glass. Pepper passed her the bottle. Peter was… somewhere. He spent less time tinkering in the lab and more time actually in his suit now, and Pepper resisted the urge to call up the feed from his mask. She knew she could, but she also knew that didn't mean she should. 

"Noticed you took your engagement ring off."

Of course Nat did. She was a spy. Spying wasn't exactly what she did these days, as far as Pepper knew, but Nat would always be the first to notice anything different. Pepper had taken the ring off, tucked it away in its box, safe with the rest of her fine jewelry. She missed it. It was habit to adjust it, rub her thumb along the back of the band. 

"It was time."

"Yeah?"

Pepper sighed and took the bottle back, topping off her own glass. "It wasn't fair to Peter… to keep wearing it." He hadn't asked her to take it off. He wouldn't, she knew. In fact, he probably hadn't even noticed. But she felt like it was another step in acknowledging that they were moving on. 

“You okay?”

Pepper shook her head in annoyance. “I wish people would stop asking me that.”

“Someone tried to kidnap, or at worst kill you, Pepper. Peter is out there in his suit again…” she shrugged. “I wouldn’t be okay.” 

“People try to kill you every day.”

“Fair point. Doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”

“You need to get laid.”

Nat laughed, leaning her head back. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not and you know it.” Pepper put her glass down and leaned forward. Nat looked tired. Her smile never quite reached her eyes. But she wouldn’t admit that the late nights, the reports about Clint were getting to her. “What about Carol?”

“Danvers?” Nat chuckled as she shook her head. “Out of my league.”

“No one is out of your league.”

“Okay, you’re right. But I don’t do long distance. Especially when it involves galaxies.”

"I liked you with Bruce," Pepper said wistfully. She tucked her legs underneath her. It had been good for Bruce to have someone, and he brought out a side of Nat that Pepper liked to see. There was a different sort of tenderness Nat had toward Bruce, even though things were over. 

"Pepper, come on." Nat looked at her knowingly, and she smiled anyway. Whatever she felt about that--whatever she _really_ felt--Nat kept it close. "That was just… the wrong time."

"Maybe now is the right time."

"I've got too much on my plate right now. And if you're not drunk, you're deflecting."

"Peter isn't Tony. He's not out there trying to...save everyone but himself."

"Just the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man…"

Pepper winced. She wasn't ready to face this with the concentration it deserved yet. 

They both looked up at the sound of Peter coming in. Pepper wasn't about to let Nat defer, but Peter stopped when he saw them, his suit breaking down into its housing on his chest. She felt a pang seeing that and tried to dismiss it quickly. 

"Oh, hey...hey, Nat. You guys, uh...having a girl's night?"

"Hi, Peter." Nat was smirking. 

"Hi...yeah, that's cool. I'm just gonna...grab a shower, and...yeah, you guys...have fun." He put out his hands as if stopping himself. "Not that you need my permission to… Yeah. Just gonna shower now."

"You're cute when you're nervous." Nat drained the rest of her glass before she stood. "But I should go anyway."

"Nat…" Pepper began. 

"Rhodey is halfway around the world, and I swear Okoye refuses to understand time zones on purpose. So...I should be there when they need me."

There was no stopping her. Pepper worked too much, and Nat seemed to never sleep. Her entire life had become coordinating the Avengers that were left. She was good at it, too good. Pepper stood and kissed both of Nat's cheeks. 

"Just try to get some rest at some point." She took Nat's arm and walked her to the elevator. As the doors were about to close on Nat, Pepper said, "And think about calling Bruce."

As she cleaned up the wine glasses and corked what was leftover in the bottle, Pepper could hear the shower running. She resisted the urge to turn on the tv, see if Spider-Man had made the news yet. Instead Pepper put away the cheese and olives they hadn't eaten. She cleaned the cheese board, then oiled it. She was wiping down the counters when she felt Peter's arms around her. 

"Hey, Miss Potts," he murmured before kissing underneath her ear. 

Pepper's body responded immediately with a hint of warmth spreading between her legs. But she turned and held him at arm's length, looking needlessly for any sign of harm on his bare chest. The feeling was unsettling in how familiar it was. Her actions were automatic, muscle memory even after not performing them for almost four years. Pepper put her hands flat on Peter's chest, and he took them in his own. 

"Hey...what's wrong?"

"I just…" Pepper shook her head. "I spent a long time doing this, Peter."

"Doing what?"

"Being ready to pick up the pieces." She ran her fingers through his hair. "Tony and I had come to...an uneasy rhythm, and I remember now just how uneasy it was."

Peter stepped back, his lips set with that earnestness he had never fully lost. "I will give up the suit. I will put the tech in its housing, put it in a corner of the lab, and never think about it again. Just say the word…"

She smiled softly and pushed a strand of her hair behind one of her ears. Peter meant it, and that was sweet. And Tony almost meant it every time he said there would be no more surprises. But these men, both of these men she loved had hearts that made their choices. And she couldn't change that.

"I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"I know, but I would."

Pepper touched his cheek, remembering that he was so young to have been through so much. "Let's go to bed."

"No, Pepper…" He took her hand. "If you're not okay, I'm not okay."

"Peter," Pepper's voice was firm as she continued, "do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then trust that I'll be okay. And that if you don't come to bed, you're sleeping on the sofa."

"Yes, Miss Potts." He grinned before completely sweeping Pepper up and tossing her over his shoulder, making her screech and threaten him. 

*****

He wished he'd picked up ear protection on his way in. It was a stupid, rookie move, but then again, Peter hadn't really had cause to go to the shooting gallery. He winced, hands over his ears until the bangs stopped, and then he tapped Nat on the shoulder. She whirled around with speed that he found amazing, even given his own, and his instant reaction was to jump to the ceiling and cling there. 

Nat had her gun trained on him before he'd even flattened himself down, and while Peter had always found her a little bit scary, he knew now that he should have been terrified. 

"You're lucky this is empty." Nat slid the empty clip out, but she didn't replace it. 

"Sorry. Wow." He jumped down into a crouch then stood in front of her. "That was...you're super fast, and…" Peter paused looking at the target before he went on, "accurate."

"So, what'd you risk your life to come here and say? Because I know Spider-Man doesn't do guns."

"Oh...right. Uh, has Pepper… The thing is that I noticed...um, that she… Did she lose her, uh, engagement ring or something?"

Nat raised an eyebrow, but she was smirking, which Peter found infuriating. It was like she always knew something he didn't about Pepper, which was probably true. They were friends, after all, and he knew women talked to each other about stuff they wouldn't really talk about with anyone else. What that kind of stuff was...well, he wouldn't want to really know what was in Pepper's purse, and he considered that to be about equivalent. 

He sighed. "So, she took it off."

"Shouldn't you be having this conversation with Pepper?"

"I'm having it with you because...I...I can't really have it with her yet."

"Go on." Nat walked over to one of the work stations and began to take apart and clean her weapon. She looked at him the whole time, which was unnerving.

"Did she take it off because she's...um, expecting me to ask...is she...does she want me to marry her?" With the words out of his mouth, Peter thought he might vomit or have a heart attack or just yeet himself out of a window. Nat didn't laugh at him. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a very bad sign. Either way, he was sweating. 

"What do you think?"

"Nat, seriously. Like...seriously, don't do this to me."

"Okay, Peter." She turned to him and crossed her arms. "I think you should talk to Pepper. Have you ever talked about marriage? Do you want kids? Does she? Does she roll the toothpaste or squeeze from the top? Obviously she rolls it, but had you even noticed that?"

"Okay, so…" He took another deep breath, trying to let her words sink in rather than focus on the fact that Nat knew how Pepper treated her tube of toothpaste. "You're saying I'm freaking out for possibly no reason because I haven't really assessed the situation yet. I'm just...reacting."

"Look at you, being mature." That smirk again, but it was good-natured, at least. 

"Right. Talk to Pepper. Okay...I got this. Yeah...just a talk," Peter mumbled to himself as he started to walk away. He felt like he was sixteen again. Then he stopped and turned back to Nat, saying, "What if she does want me to propose?"

"Do you want to marry her?" Nat asked without looking up. 

Peter didn't answer. He hadn't gotten that far. He didn't even know if he wanted to be married or was ready for marriage. But he would marry Pepper, if that's what she wanted. He'd do it right then and there because he knew he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her...which, holy shit sounded a lot like wanting to marry her for real. 

*****

The last thing Pepper expected to walk in and see was a table set for two, complete with lit tapers. She and Peter did not make an event of dinners, and they frequently missed each other or ate them informally together. She could smell garlic and tomatoes and a wealth of other complicated food scents that signaled hearty and delicious. Peter was headed for her with a glass of red wine outstretched, and as she accepted it, he kissed her lightly. 

"What's all this?" Pepper asked. 

"I made dinner."

She raised her eyebrows and tried not to smile. "No you didn't."

"Okay, I didn't, but that's only because there's nothing sexy or adult about tuna melts and boxed mac n cheese."

"Sure, but what's the occasion?" 

Peter shrugged in response to that, and Pepper could see that he was tense. He'd gotten better at not wearing it on his sleeve, but faking it wasn't his strong suit. She decided not to press, though. He'd get to it whenever he worked up the courage.

Throughout dinner, they talked about their days, and she could tell he wasn't completely paying attention. He asked what she was working on, and almost as soon as Pepper started, Peter interrupted her. It was so abrupt, so like something Tony would do that Pepper's throat felt tight.

"You, um, took off your ring...Tony's ring."

Pepper touched her ring finger involuntarily, as she had been doing ever since she'd removed it. "I didn't really think you'd noticed."

"Yeah. I just…" He looked away, studying the darkened windows. "It's not really something we've talked about."

"My engagement to Tony or marriage in general?"

"Either?" When he looked back at her, Peter's eyes were wide and soft, like he was fifteen again.

"Okay," Pepper drew out the word as she poured herself another glass of wine. "It was time to take it off. Tony isn't here, and I don't…" She stopped, knowing saying this out loud would have power, finality. "I don't know that he's coming back."

"We might still find a way."

"Even so. I love Tony. I wanted to marry Tony. I...things change."

"Do you...is it that...do you want to marry me?"

Pepper blinked. The wine she was swallowing seemed to stick in her throat, and she coughed. Peter looked like he was about to vomit. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

His eyes got wider than she thought was even possible. "No! I mean...no, not unless...do you want me to?"

"No, Peter." She said it gently and reached for his hand to reassure him when he inevitably looked crestfallen. "That's not why I took it off."

Pepper flushed with the sudden anger that she felt rising in her chest. She hated this--this position that Thanos had put her and probably millions of others into. She and Tony were supposed to be married and settled by now, maybe even with a kid. Peter should have been in college, dating around, not wondering if a woman old enough to be his mother, a woman whose time to have children was running way too short wanted to marry him. And did he even want kids? Could he...even have them?

They hadn't had these discussions. Peter was too much of a gentleman with her feelings to bring them up. He didn't want to hurt her, to remind her of what she and Tony were supposed to have. And it wasn't fair to him that she hadn't taken the ring off sooner or initiated any of this. He was so young, and Pepper loved it. Even now she hated herself a little bit for that, for taking advantage of it. He had a whole life ahead of him to get over this, to rebuild, and she told herself she was being mature by holding off, being cautious.

"Is that what you want?" she asked quietly. "Marriage?"

"I...I don't know. Maybe one day?" He scrubbed his face with his hands. "Pepper, I went from high school to failing to save the world on another planet to _this_ whole...world. And all I wanted was to work for some way to fix it all, but now I have you...and I don't wanna change that part of it."

"But you still want to fix things."

"Of course!" He furrowed his brow in frustration, and all Pepper wanted to do was smooth his hair back and tell him everything would be okay. "Of course I do. But…"

"Peter, there is nobody in the world who knows the best way to move on from this. You're doing fine." Pepper hoped that was what he needed because she didn't know what else to give him.

"Yeah…" He looked thoughtful and too tired for a moment. But that was gone when he stood and took both of their plates before kissing her on the top of her head. "These dishes aren't going to do themselves."


	9. He Thinks We Can Undo It

Peter looked up at the sound of the door clicking unlocked and opening. Pepper stepped in wearing a dove grey skirt suit with a blue blouse, and her hair was swept up. She had a tablet and a thick file in her arm, but Peter couldn't help his eyes being drawn to her legs and the grey heels she wore. 

"Hey," he said, distracted as he pulled his focus back to the display in front of him. "What's this suit? I just found the schematics while I was organizing some files." He threw up a projection of the armor schematics. 

"Yeah, that's Rescue. Peter, come on, we were supposed to leave five minutes ago. I've been trying to call you."

"Rescue?"

"My suit. Let's go. Please tell me you didn't forget."

He knew his eyes were wide. He had forgotten, but he wasn't sure what he'd forgotten. It was nagging at the back of his mind. But the suit schematics clicked together when Pepper said that. Plus, she had a suit! She'd never told him that before. He couldn't...no he _could_ imagine her in a suit. And that was…

"Peter!"

"Right. Driving...to the city...to, uh, yeah I'm ready. I'm coming."

When they got to the car, he opened the door for Pepper and slid in next to her. They were quiet as they pulled away from the compound. Peter bounced his knee. 

"You have no idea why we're going in, do you?"

"Happy needs me to come in for biometrics so that the ones he took himself are on file when I take over the R&D department." Last minute memory searching had prevailed, he hoped, and the relieved look on Pepper's face told him he was right. In truth, he'd gotten up that morning with the intention to putter in the lab the entire day. Pepper had been reminding him about this, and she'd probably even put it on his calendar. But Peter never looked at that thing. 

"Oh." She leaned back, visibly relaxing. "So, you were listening."

"Gimme a break, Miss Potts." he took her hand and kissed the back of it. 

"You know people think it's absolutely insane that I'm giving our R&D department to a twenty-one year old with one PhD and a Stark internship under his belt."

"It's two PhD's, and Tony was twenty-one when he took over the company, so you could probably do worse. Plus, you've gotta stop watching that shit."

"I wouldn't call PBS 'shit'," she said. 

They fell silent. It had been a while since Peter had taken this drive. He remembered making it with Happy after he'd refused Stark's offer to become an Avenger--an offer Pepper had told him was actually genuine. He chuckled to himself at what an idiot he had been. 

"What?" Pepper asked. She was about to take a sip from a bottle of sparkling water. 

"Nothing." He stared out of the window. "Hey, Pep, were you there during the Battle of New York?'

She shook her head and sighed as she looked away from him, out of the window. "I was on the jet. I'd been in DC and was heading back, but they made us divert and land in Philly."

"Wow… You must have been crazy worried."

"I watched it all on the in flight news channel. Tony flying that nuke into god only knew where…"

Peter could see her eyes reflected in the window, and they were watery blue before the tears spilled from them. She wiped them away self-consciously. 

"Hey, it's okay…" He pulled her into his arms. "That must have been so scary...but he came back…" Peter regretted it almost as soon as he said it. How many times had Pepper waited for Tony to come back until the time he didn't. "Um, hey, you know what? I was ten, and they made us all go down to the school's basement and wouldn't even let us watch what was happening. May was so pissed they wouldn't let her come get me…"

Pepper laughed even as she sniffed. "Knowing that you were ten when that happened does not make me feel better."

"Sorry, Miss Potts."

"Stop that." She slapped his chest playfully. 

"Ow, hey…" He cringed back theatrically."

"That did not hurt you…"

"Are you kidding?" he said over her.

"No, it didn't."

"You're a menace...I'm totally wounded…"

Pepper was laughing as she pulled him into a kiss. She rubbed her thumb over his cheek, and Peter knew he could get lost in her eyes. She looked so beautiful in that moment--happy and sad all at once. 

"He'd be really proud of you."

Peter turned into her hand and kissed her palm. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid his voice would break. There was a time when hearing Tony say he was proud would have made his life. Now, he just wished Tony were there at all.

*****

The setting sun was gleaming into the restaurant, making Pepper realize how much she took the automatically dimming windows at the compound and her office in the city for granted. She shifted in her seat, catching one of the server's eyes to motion for him to lower the shades. Thankfully it was a transaction conducted without words, and Peter didn't seem to notice. 

"...and I just think we can tweak the design of the arc reactors enough that they can carry a sudden, larger load, if necessary, but retrofitting them won't be that hard or that expensive."

"So you want to put entire, large countries online instead of cities and small regions?"

Peter took a bite of his ravioli and talked around it, "Yeah, why not?"

Pepper shrugged. "You tell me."

"Uh, I did. Well, my intern did. In a report...that was on your desk yesterday."

"When did you get an intern?"

"I've got two. They're super smart...like crazy smart. And one of them types like a zillion words a minute…"

Pepper was listening, but she was also aware that her phone was buzzing and had been repeatedly. She realized that Peter had stopped talking and was furrowing his brow. He pulled his phone from his pocket--with some hesitation, to his credit and her deference--but Pepper was pulling hers out too. 

"Nat is, like, blowing up my phone."

"Mine too," Pepper said worriedly as she took the call. "Nat, is everything okay?"

"Is Peter with you?"

"We're at dinner. Nat...what's going on?"

"We need you...well, him, to come home...unless you have a degree in quantum physics that I didn't know about." 

Pepper was already signalling for the check, and saw that Peter was already getting up as he stared at his phone. He nearly knocked over his chair. 

"Pep, we gotta go."

As they hurried out of the door and into the waiting car, Pepper's worry mounted. Nat had hung up the moment Pepper said they were on their way, and she still had no idea what was going on. Any problem involving quantum physics was above her pay grade. 

"Peter…"

He glanced up from his phone then back down before putting it face down on the seat. "That's your 'I'm going to get angry in lieu of freaking out face'."

"Glad you noticed."

"Pepper...that guy, Scott...whatever his name is. Ant Man? He just showed up at the compound out of the blue."

"Okay…"

"He thinks we can undo it."

Time seemed to stop. Pepper understood the excitement in Peter's eyes and the deep conflict that shadowed it. Her own blood was rushing in her ears. What did undoing the destruction Thanos wrought even mean for them now?

"Wow. That's...wow."

He was back to his phone, furiously texting before he was back on the phone talking about Pym Particles and wormholes and paradoxes. Pepper leaned against the window, watching the lights of the city fade as they got closer to the compound. His excitement was palpable, as was his determination. The familiarity of seeing that felt like it would crush Pepper. She closed her eyes tightly, and once they'd arrived, she followed Peter inside to be met by Nat, Steve, and Scott Lang. 

"You're white as a sheet," Nat said quietly, taking Pepper's elbow. 

"It's a lot."

"Do you think Peter can do this?"

"Do you think he should?" Pepper retorted more harshly than she meant to. 

"Let's take a walk."

Pepper didn't argue. She matched Nat's easy pace as they headed down to the river. The trio of men hadn't even noticed their absence, it seemed, and Pepper was okay with that. The silence felt too heavy, but anything she tried to say stuck in her throat like a barb. They reached the dock, and Pepper stood at its edge, watching the sliver of moon reflect on the water. Nat sat, resting her arm on her knee. 

"So?"

Pepper didn't look at her. "Time travel, Nat?"

"If you'd told me I would be fighting aliens in New York and then going to space, I would have told you it was impossible. But here we are. So, yeah...why not?"

Pepper looked down at her, and she was glad Nat couldn't see the rising color in her cheeks in the shadows. She was surprised by the force of her anger. More than that, she was surprised that she didn't stop herself from raising her voice a notch. 

"He blames himself for all of this, for coming home instead of Tony. It's taken five years for him to stop having the nightmares that wake him up every night. Now, he just suffers through them in his sleep. And you're asking him to build a time machine."

"He's not the only one who blames themselves. The fight didn't end on Titan, Pepper." Nat did not raise her voice. Her tone was neutral. But the deadly calm in it chilled Pepper. "We didn't just lose the people that got dusted. And if there's even the slightest possibility that this will work, then, yes, I will absolutely risk the good place that you and Peter have found. And I can't feel remorse for that."

Pepper looked down at her. Even in shadow she could see how hollow Nat's eyes were, how her hair was in a messy braid and she hadn't bothered to color it. She'd been running herself ragged keeping what was left of the Avenger's together. With a pang, she saw Tony in that. She saw some of their worst days. 

"Think about it, Pep. You could have Tony back."

"What the hell am I going to do with Tony back?" Pepper laughed, which turned into a sob. Her heart leaped at the thought of seeing Tony again, of holding him in her arms. But she didn't know where she would even begin. The thought of losing Peter was too much, so she pushed it out of her mind. The thought of choosing…

"I don't know." Nat stood and looked Pepper in the eyes. "But you deserve a chance to figure it out." She took Pepper's arm and squeezed it. "And if anyone can, it's you."

Pepper laughed again, tears spilling from her eyes. It wasn't that she doubted Peter's ability--she wasn't sure even Tony could do something like this. And if it was possible, what did that even mean for the world going forward? Even those cosmic implications seemed easier to face than dealing with Tony returning. 

Nat stood. She stayed there beside Pepper for a moment, just staring out over the water, listening to the night sounds. Even in the five years since the snap, Pepper hadn't gotten used to how quiet they were. At some point, she realized she was alone. Nat could do that--disappear silently like she'd never been there in the first place. Still, Pepper waited, watching clouds drift, finally covering the sliver of moon until the river was black. She half expected Peter to come to her. No--she _wanted_ him to come to her. But he would be in the lab by now. She wondered how long she would lose him to this.

*****

Peter looked up at the sound of the lab door opening, and his eyes widened. His first instinct was to throw himself on his most important work, but it was all data that F.R.I.D.A.Y. had backed up anyway--nothing smashable that wasn't recoverable--because siding into the door behind Natasha was definitely the Hulk. Except he wasn't smashing, and Peter had no clue what was going on. 

"Figured two heads were better than one," Nat said as she winked. 

"Hey, kid. Not sure you remember me…"

"Wow, hey, Doctor Hulk...uh, Banner…"

"Bruce is fine."

"How did you…"

"With science, Peter," Nat cut in. "Now, I'll just leave you two boys to figure this out while I go solve a little problem of my own." Her tone was light, but Peter could see that Nat's eyes were distant. He made a mental note to talk to Pepper about it later, to see if they'd actually found Clint Barton. That was, if he saw Pepper later. More and more, he'd been crawling into bed to catch a few hours of sleep in the early hours of the morning, and she was gone by the time he got back up. 

"So, Nat and that ant guy tell me we're trying to figure out time travel?"

"Yeah, so...Karen, can you bring up the last test run?"

*****

In the quiet of her office, Pepper sat with her eyes closed, willing herself into some kind of meditation. Her mind wandered, though, and her focus was always pulled back to one thing. Her last words to Tony hadn't been exactly kind, but she'd said them in worry and fear rather than anger. And she had no idea if he'd even heard them. That she'd accepted a life where one minute they were jogging in the park and another she was being hurried out of the city away from danger was a given. Whether all of that would fade as Tony settled into their marriage was something she hadn't even gotten to properly contemplate before he was gone. 

She wondered if Peter had really considered the implications of what he was doing. No. He wasn't thinking of himself--outwardly, at least. He was thinking about restoring what the entire universe had lost. He was throwing himself at a problem that he felt solely responsible for, even after five years. And he hadn't noticed yet that Pepper was avoiding him. She wasn't ready to ask herself if she wanted him to notice. 

Pepper let out a heavy sigh. Peter loved Tony too, and it was still the love, almost worship, of a boy. Pulling this off--inventing fucking time travel--would not only absolve Peter in his own mind but would also prove whathever he so desperately wanted to prove to Tony. Pepper didn't know if it was right or wrong to feel bitter that it was at her expense because she knew Peter hadn't thought of that. Tony had, even as he was leaving Earth in that ship. He'd thought of it, and that hurt as much as losing him. But Peter hadn't lived as many years or consequences of dogged single-mindedness. 

She felt the anger and grief and fear wash over her in a single, hard wave, and Pepper was ready to sob. But she was interrupted. 

"Miss Romanov is attempting to subvert your lock. Shall I deploy countermeasures?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked. 

"No." Pepper stood and wiped her brimming eyes. "Let her in and turn my notifications back on, please." She turned to face the window, giving herself a few more seconds to compose her face before Nat entered. 

"Hey." Nat's nonchalance was infuriating.

"You could have just knocked."

"What, so you could pretend you weren't here?" Pepper turned to see Nat put a hand on one of her hips. "I'm heading out for a few days...maybe more."

"You've never felt the need to check in with me before leaving." She sank back into her office chair, too tired to play games. 

"I found him, Pepper, and I need to get him back here. But I don't know how willing he's going to be."

There was a glimmer of hope in Nat's eyes. With everything they'd all lost, finding Clint was more important to Nat than stopping his rampage. But Pepper couldn't help a feeling of deep resentment. Clint wouldn't need to answer for what he'd done because no one good had been involved, and that, for Nat, meant no hard choices in having him back. 

"You should take a security detail with you," she said quietly, knowing Nat would refuse. 

"I'll be fine."

"Be careful." Pepper forced herself to meet Nat's eyes, and even in doing that, she felt alone.


	10. Fight and Flight

Peter didn't look up from his screen. He didn't really know how long he'd been awake at this point, but he thought the last time he'd slept was right there, his head on the table. They'd set up in one of the hangars a month before and started construction on the system he and Bruce had come up with. But they weren't quite ready to test it yet. 

"Hey, Karen, queue up the pizza order from last time, but put a call through to Pepper and see if she wants anything...that thing with the cauliflower crust she likes."

"Miss Potts is scheduled to depart in ten minutes. Would you like me to send the order now, Peter?"

"Uh, yeah, have it delivered to this hangar," he said distractedly. "Wait, what? Karen, where is Pepper going."

"She has a scheduled trip to Japan."

"Shit." He stood and ran his fingers through his hair. Peter couldn't even remember the last time he'd actually seen Pepper awake and for more than just a passing conversation or kiss. "Where is she?"

"Hangar two."

"Great. Thanks, Karen." 

He began to sprint towards the door and across the space between the two hangars. The jet was already out, primed and waiting, and he could see Pepper crossing from the residence in the yoga pants she liked to wear when traveling. He met her before she got to the tarmac. 

"Hey, wow. Since when are you going to Japan?"

She rolled her eyes. "This trip has been on the agenda for six months. You were supposed to be coming with me."

"Pep, come on. Japan is the last place I need to be right now."

She sidestepped him, and Peter could see the tension in her neck and shoulders as he caught back up to her. "So, I'm going alone."

Everything from the way Pepper adjusted the bag on her shoulder to her brisk walk suggested that she was _pissed_. Peter had seen it before, but it had never been directed at him. And that's when it hit him that this was _absolutely_ meant for him. He couldn't parse it. She'd fielded tons of trips by herself, handling meetings that he needed to be in before. She'd been putting up with his late nights and dinners where he and Bruce pretty much did nothing but work out their theories. Pepper hadn't been upset with any of this before, and Peter couldn't see why a trip to Japan made any difference at this point. 

"Hey…" He jogged in front of her again, this time taking her shoulders to physically stop her. "We're so close, Pepper. Seriously...we're going to be able to do this thing. We just...need to keep working."

"Have you even stopped to think about what happens if you do do _this thing_?" she snapped. 

Peter blinked hard, as if she'd slapped him. "Wh-what? Everyone comes back. We win...everything is normal again." His voice was soft and sounded distant to his own ears. Pepper's cheeks were flushed with anger, but in her eyes, he saw pain and, even more surprising for him, uncertainty. 

"What's normal now, Peter? What will this mean for me?" She was yelling now, and she'd pulled away from him. He didn't think he'd ever heard her raise his voice to someone who was not on a screen and not actually talking to her. "What does it mean for us?"

"I…" He rubbed the back of his neck as his stomach dropped. He was an idiot. He realized he was such an idiot this entire time. Pepper hadn't been obliging him, understanding him--she'd been avoiding him. "I'm an idiot," he blurted.

"Yeah." She stared at him for an uncomfortable moment before she started walking again. "I have to go."

"Pepper…" She was mounting the stairs now, and all Peter wanted to do was follow her. Everything about her body said that if he did, she might kick him in the balls. "I love you," he said, knowing it sounded pathetic. But she stopped, making his heart leap.

"I love you too," she said over her shoulder. "But you're still an idiot."

*****

Bruce left a message with Karen that he'd gone to grab a shower when Peter trudged back into the workspace. He halfheartedly looked over their progress, mind wandering back to the look in Pepper's eyes. It hadn't occurred to him that she would resent the lack of attention, and Peter wasn't even sure if that was it. And now that he had absolutely no clue what to do, Peter realized how astonishingly easy things with Pepper had been.

"Hey, Spider-kid!" He looked up to see Scott coming in with the necks of four beers in one hand and a big takeout bag in the other. "It's Friday, and we, well, you guys, mostly, but we need a decent break before we completely burn out."

"Oh, yeah, hey," Peter mumbled. "There's pizza."

"No, no, no. We cannot eat another pizza, seriously." Scott plunked a beer bottle down in front of Peter. "So, I got chinese. Come on...there's broccoli. That makes it healthy."

"Sweet." Peter accepted a packet of chopsticks and broke them apart. He didn't really take the time to figure out what was in the open carton Scott handed him; he just shoved a bite into his mouth while Scott uncapped two of the beers. 

"So, the big guy says we're close to doing a test run."

"Yeah, maybe in like...a month," Peter said, accepting the open beer. It tasted bland. Everything tasted bland, like ash. 

"Peter, we're literally going to yeet ourselves--do the kids still say yeet, wait, nevermind--through time. Why so glum?"

"Sorry, man." Peter took another long pull from his beer. "Pepper just left to go to Japan for like…" He realized he had no idea how long she was going to be gone. It could be a weekend; it could be a month and a half. "Hey, Karen, how long is Pepper going to be gone?"

"Miss Potts' agenda indicates she will be away for fifteen days."

"That's rough," Scott said as he dug into what looked like beef and the promised broccoli. "Not to be crude, but you're lucky, you know? Pepper Potts is...wow."

Peter laughed, but he didn't really feel any joy. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"You sure you wanna bring Stark back?"

Scott was chuckling, but Peter swallowed what felt like a huge lump in his throat. "I didn't...I didn't think, you know? I just wanted to make it right, to fix everything. And when you showed up and Nat called us back...that was it. This has been everything. And I didn't even stop to think about Pepper or...or how she felt or...fuck, Tony...Tony being back and what that means for her, let alone me."

Scott sucked breath through his teeth. "Okay, ouch." He cracked open another beer, passing it to Peter, who hadn't realized he'd even finished his first one. "You love her? You want her to be happy?"

"Yeah," Peter said, hearing his own desperation. "Yeah, I really do."

"Then it's gonna work out." He propped his elbows on his knees and shook his head. "Might end up sucking for a while, but it'll be okay. Trust me...I've been there."

"Yeah? You've been close to restoring the whole world, including your girlfriend's billionaire fiance, who also happens to be your mentor and…" Peter almost said _oldest crush_ too, but he was able to stop himself, for once. "And you didn't really talk to her about it or consider her feelings at all? That's where you've been?"

"Okay, no. that's...yeah. But I do have an ex-wife with a husband who I pretty much hated and...you know what, it's a long, boring story that requires more beers. We could go inside and get some, finish all this food, feel grossly full and cry together, or you could stay out here and keep working on this alone while you mope."

"So, you didn't end up with her?" Peter stared into the neck of his beer bottle. 

"It's not all bad, kid. Come on...you've got two weeks to mope around."

*****

Pepper stood underneath the rain shower, letting it fall into her hair. The Imperial Suite in the Tokyo Station Hotel was beautiful, and she was beyond comfortable. But the whole thing made her miss Peter. Even after five years, he was like a kid in a candy shop in every hotel suite. Tony was immune to luxury. It'd been his entire life. And Pepper had had to pretend she was unimpressed for so long that she didn't remember when she actually started being immune to it. 

He would have already raided the minibar far snacks and probably commented on how they didn't need a full dining room. He probably would have wanted to climb on the roof, insisted he take her up there to see the city. And she would have protested until he just swept her off of her feet because it really would have been the best way to see Tokyo at night. In truth, her heart ached. It ached with the anger at his singleminded devotion to fixing a wrong that he still insisted was his own fault. It ached for Tony, for what she'd lost. And she couldn't reconcile how she would make Tony's return work without losing Peter and everything they had found. 

Tears were already welling in her eyes when F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice made her flinch. 

"Ma'am, there's an incoming call from Agent Romanov."

"Put it through," Pepper said without thinking. "Audio only."

"Pepper, hey. I've got Clint. I'm sorry to call you so early. I just...I got him." Pepper could hear the relief in Nat's voice--relief tinged with fatigue. This had haunted her ever since they realized what he was doing. Pepper only hoped he was the same Clint Nat knew. 

"Nat, are you okay? Is Clint okay?" She shut off the water and grabbed a towel. "It's fine. It's...I'm not in New York. It's not early. Where are you?"

"Tokyo, we should be home…"

Half an hour later they were sitting at the dining table, which was too large for three people, let alone just Pepper. Both Nat and Clint looked tired--no, it was more than that. They both looked weary. And Pepper understood it instantly. She felt weary to her bones and afraid. This was real and happening, and she knew she couldn't stop it. 

"You should take my jet back. It's more comfortable than the quinjet, and I don't feel like arguing."

"Thank you," Nat said quietly.

"But stay here tonight. You both look like you need it."

"I...don't deserve this," Clint said. He was looking out of the window, fixating on nothing to avoid meeting Pepper's or Nat's eyes. 

"We all made mistakes."

Pepper stood. They would be hungry, whether they realized it or not. And she'd barely eaten. She started flipping through the room service menu. She stopped to put a hand on Clint's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. She barely knew him. Tony questioned his inclusion on the team more than once. But Pepper knew what he meant to Nat. And that was enough for her. 

"You look like you could use a long shower. We'll order food."

When they were alone, Nat pushed back from the table. She went to the window silently and crossed her arms as she gazed over the cityscape. 

"Nice view." She waited until Pepper had finished ordering before she turned around. "Where's Peter?"

Pepper sighed. "Working."

"Is he sulking as much as you are?" Nat turned around and walked back to the table. She pulled out a knife and started opening the bottle of wine that Pepper hadn't touched since she'd arrived. 

"There's a perfectly good wine opener."

Nat just shrugged, and Pepper fetched the glasses. She wasn't in the mood to talk about this, but she also knew Nat wasn't going to let it go. "He hadn't even considered talking to me about any of this."

"Does that surprise you?"

The pointedness irritated Pepper only because she knew Nat was right. "He's not a kid anymore."

"Neither was Tony." Nat poured both of them generous glasses. 

"That was low." Pepper sighed as she sank back into one of the chairs. It was right, though. The more excited Tony was about something, the more absorbed he became. Peter was no different. They didn't mean any harm by it, but feelings were feelings. "Why do I attract men who never consider the consequences of their actions?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"No." She gazed into her glass, needing to change the subject. "Clint going to be okay?"

"If Peter and Bruce can pull this off." It was Nat's turn to sigh. "If he can let himself live with everything he's done."

Pepper nodded. She didn't know the full extent of it, nor did she want to. The snap had left orphans and widows and wiped out entire families. She felt selfish in that even part of her wanted Peter to fail or to stop. Even so, she knew her situation wasn't unique. Unless they undid everything, absolutely everything about the past five years, there would be new hurts and new grief. And yet, Pepper knew she couldn't let Peter reset the clock, even if she wouldn't remember after he'd done it. 

*****

When he saw the jet taxiing into its hanger, Peter felt his heart leap. He hadn't heard from Pepper since she left, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be giving her space or if he needed to call, text, anything. He felt paralyzed. If he texted an apology, she might be pissed. If he called, she might not answer. The thing he knew he could do was work, but even that wasn't exciting anymore knowing that if he was successful, he'd probably be ending their relationship. Because Pepper would most certainly pick Tony--why wouldn't she?

As he jogged toward the plane, he saw Nat emerge followed by Clint Barton. But that was it. Pepper didn't come out after them, and he slowed, a sinking feeling in his gut. Nat waved, and Peter half-heartedly waved back. 

"Hey...I thought you guys took the quinjet," he said when he reached them. Peter was pretty sure he was failing at trying not to look disappointed. 

"Happened to be in Tokyo. Pepper insisted." Nat shrugged. She nodded to Barton. "You remember Clint."

"Uh, yeah...Hi, Mr. Hawkeye, sir. I'm Peter Parker...you uh, might not remember me."

"Oh yeah, the Spider-kid. Sorry I kicked your ass." He held out his hand and Peter took it.

"Oh yeah, no worries...seriously...it was an honor. Um...yeah."

"Any progress?" Nat asked. 

"Yeah...yeah. Closer every day. So...Pepper didn't come back early?"

"No, we're sending the jet back for her return date. You haven't talked to her?"

"I wasn't sure she...I mean, we…"

Nat rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"So I've been told," he mumbled in response. 

In reality, Peter wanted to yell. He wanted to tell her that he knew he was an idiot. He'd been stewing in it ever since Pepper left and imagining a thousand things he could have done differently. And worse than that, he was imagining every possible scenario for when Tony returned. Almost every scenario. He didn't think there was one where Pepper chose him. But the worst part was that he missed her. It was the little things like the scent of her shampoo still lingering in the mornings when he got up or the sound of her stupid newsfeeds playing in the living room. 

Peter set his lips. He didn't know what he was going to say to make this better, to make things work, but he knew he had to say something. And he knew an entire flight to Japan _might_ be enough time to figure it out. He'd spent so much of their relationship hiding from himself; he wasn't going to hide from this. 

"Let Bruce know I'll be back in a few days, okay? I'm sure he can handle things without me."

Nat chuckled. "Go get 'em."

*****

Pepper wasn't expecting visitors and hadn't ordered anything, so the knock at the suite's door while she was finishing up some work late that night surprised her. She opened it as she distractedly ran her fingers through her ponytail, it took her too long to realize that Peter was standing in front of her holding a small carton of strawberries, looking tired and sheepish. 

"Peter, what…"

"I was going to bring you flowers, but this was all the airport convenience store had…"

Pepper wanted to laugh, but she found herself crying as she pulled him inside and into a kiss. She realized she was clinging to the back of his shirt, breathing in his scent. And as her mind began to clear, she noticed that he was clinging to her as well. It had been stupid not to call him, to avoid him in the first place. But it had also been stupid for him not to think past fixing a problem that seemed unfixable. 

"You know I'm allergic to those," she said as she pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"Shit."

"I hope you didn't eat any," she said as she kissed him again. Pepper breathed a heavy sigh as they pulled apart. She ran her fingers through Peter's hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "You're here."

"I miss you so much, Pepper, and I… I couldn't stand leaving it like that."

"You look tired. When is the last time you slept?" She took his hand and guided him into the living room, noticing he tossed the strawberries in a trash can along the way. When he flopped onto the sofa, he pulled Pepper into his lap. 

"I don't know. Some here and there."

"You should lie down then."

"No, Pep. I don't want to sleep; I don't want to put this off another minute. I've been working on this for so long; it's all I've thought about since that night Scott turned up. But it's more than that…" He looked up into her eyes. "I've been thinking about this ever since Nebula dragged me onto that ship and Captain Marvel got us back to Earth. And this is the only real chance we have."

She set her lips. "It's not your fault. I appreciate what you're doing, Peter, but…"

"I know...I get that." He shifted and Pepper slipped onto the sofa beside him. "I just assumed it would be what you wanted, and...I don't know...I'm sorry."

"When you started wearing the suit again, I was worried...not just for your safety. I was worried that it would be all-consuming." _Like it was with Tony._ Pepper didn't say that, but she could see she didn't have to. "The way you learned to balance everything...and then this. Scott showed up, and you haven't stopped for a breath."

"I know." The way he ducked his head, Pepper wanted to reach out to him. It had been a long time since she'd seen him look so unsure of himself. "I don't know what bringing Tony back means for us, but I know not doing this because...because I'm afraid to lose you isn't fair for anyone else. It wouldn't be right."

She sighed again and looked away. He was right, of course, and Pepper hated herself for resenting that. He had not hesitated, just as Tony hadn't when that ship left Earth. Pepper stood abruptly. She felt helpless, and that was the very feeling she always tried to avoid. It was part of the reason she separated from Tony for a while. It was the feeling that threatened when Peter found himself as Spider-man again. 

"I can't…" she shook her head as she paced. "I can't do this now."

"I thought this was what you wanted." He sounded almost wounded. 

"It is." She shook her head. "It's…" Pepper stopped, closed her eyes. She tried to ground herself, to center her mind on how far she'd come since that day. It was as if a wound only healed on the surface had been reopened one too many times. 

"I don't...understand. Pepper, I get it. I know...I know it's hard, but you don't have to pick me."

Her eyes flew open, and Pepper felt her cheeks grow hot. "That's it? That's all I mean to you?"

"What?" He stood so quickly he almost tripped over the coffee tale. "No! Pepper, I just meant… I just…" He took her elbows, holding her even when she tried to pull away. "I love you. Fuck, Pepper, I love you. I would do anything for you. But how am I supposed to compete with Tony Stark?"

"Stop…" She took his face in her hands, his tears hitting her fingertips. A sob caught in Pepper's throat as she put her forehead against his. "Stop."

When Peter kissed her it was fierce, angry, and Pepper's body responded before her mind did. He was pushing her back, kissing her, biting at her bottom lip. 

"Bedroom," he murmured, pushing her back. Pepper pushed against him, kissing him, stumbling backwards as he whirled her around. They didn't make it. Peter shoved Pepper into a wall, or she stumbled--she wasn't sure. He was pressing himself against her, hands running up her sides, over her breasts, Pepper moaned as he kissed her neck. She reached back, running her fingers through his hair, tugging at it none too gently. When he bit her shoulder, she gasped. But Peter was already pushing up her skirt. 

When he pushed into her it was rough, clumsy, and Peter moaned into her ear. Pepper dug her nails into the base of his neck, moaning for him not to stop. He fucked her harder, pressing her into the wall. Hot tears welled in Peppers eyes, hot, angry tears. She felt Peter's on her shoulder, rolling down to pool in her collarbone

He was close to coming; Pepper could feel it. But he stilled, reached around her shoving his hand down the front of her rucked up skirt. Peter began to circle her clit roughly, pressing, knowing how sensitive she was. And when Pepper started to come, he pulled his hand away and thrust into her again, hard and fast, moaning. 

They both sank to the floor, and Peter pulled her into his arms. Pepper let herself rest her head against his chest as she cried silently. He would do this. He had to, and she wouldn't stop him. 

"I don't want to lose you," Peter whispered as he kissed the top of her head. "But I can't stop."

"We'll figure it out...somehow." She closed her eyes, trying to close herself off to the hurt. Peter relaxed against her, and Pepper felt a stab of guilt. The absurdity of the words stung like a slap. Pepper had done a lot of things people would consider impossible, but this… She shook her head against Peter's chest. "Let's go to bed."


	11. We Could Have It All

It wasn't Pepper's habit to leave her office in the middle of the day, but when she saw Peter lying on his back on the sofa, eyes blank as he stared at the ceiling, she figured wanting a sweater was a good enough excuse for the lingering feeling that had brought her back home in the first place. In truth, she knew it was just that she was unsettled. They were testing the machine--Pepper couldn't quite bring herself to think of it as a time machine yet--and Peter's enthusiasm only carried over to her as worry. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Peter's eyes flicked in her direction, but he was silent. So Pepper made her way to the sofa and sat down, gently tugging his head into her lap. She began to run her fingers through his hair. "Peter, what's going on?"

"It didn't work." He sounded more petulant than anything else. 

"The test?" Pepper wasn't being obtuse on purpose. There were a million factors that might not have worked. For all she knew, Scott could be lost somewhere in time even though the machine itself performed. "Tell me what happened." Her tone was soft, soothing, and she kept running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp lightly.

"It's not that it didn't work." Peter closed his eyes. "It just didn't work the way it was supposed to. We kept getting Scott back at different ages. It was a total shit show, Pep."

"Scott's okay?"

"Yeah--thankfully. We should have used a robot or something. Sending him was stupid since we obviously have no idea what we're doing."

Pepper found herself smiling down at him even though he couldn't see it. The little crease in his forehead spoke his frustration, but all she felt was an overwhelming fondness. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"If we can't get this to work...that's it. There's no way to pull this off. I just…" He opened his eyes, staring up at her pointedly. "Tony would have figured it out by now."

Pepper wanted to tell him that he wasn't Tony, that he didn't have to be. But she knew that would be the wrong thing to say. She bent down and kissed him softly. "Maybe, maybe not. Just take a step back...you've been pushing so hard."

"Yeah." He fell silent, and Pepper let him just lie there, knowing he needed the comfort. She was beginning to wonder if he'd fallen asleep, when Peter's eyes flew open. "Pushing…" He whispered. Then he sat up and got to his feet. "You're a genius!" He took Pepper's face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead before jumping up. "I've gotta go to my lab… Thanks, Pepper; you're amazing."

"You're welcome...I guess," she called after him. 

*****

Peter lay on the floor of the lounge, his head touching the top of Nat's with Bruce beside them as they stared up at a holographic display of the stones. They'd figured it out-- _he'd_ figured it out. With the hard science figured out, Peter felt like he was back in high school algebra.

If the Soul Stone wanted to be in the same year as the Time Stone, but the Reality Stone was in a different year, which galaxy were the other two stones in and when? Or whatever. 

It wasn't impossible to figure out, but it seemed like such a trivial puzzle compared to time travel. Yet, here they all were. 

"We all need a break," Nat said finally. "It's mandated break hour."

"No, we're so close…" Peter half meant it.

But Nat was on her feet, glaring down at him through spinning Infinity Stones. "Break. Now."

He wasn't going to argue with "Stern Nat" because she was a lot more deadly than "Stern Pepper" while being just as hot. But he wasn't going to think about that either. 

"Who wants eggs?" Bruce asked as he lumbered up. "I'm making eggs."

"Bacon too?" Peter perked up at the thought. "Like...the non sodium free, turkey kind?" He loved Pepper, but her healthy shopping habits were going to kill him, even if she said they would keep him alive longer. 

"You got it."

"Sweet." Food wouldn't hurt. Theoretically, Peter supposed, they had all the time in the world.

*****

When Pepper found her, Nat was sitting in the empty lounge, screens completely full of data and a projection of the stones swirling around her head. That they were so close had thrown Pepper into a panic, resulting in long hours in her office and pushing ahead projects that could have been more leisurely undertaken. The looming choice ahead of her was the one thing she chose not to focus on until she let herself take a moment, a breath, and she realized that she wasn't going to make a choice. Because she didn't want to. And if she was right, she didn't have to. 

"Any progress?"

"It's just minimizing how many places we need to go at this point. The fewer the better. The boys are making dinner, if you're looking for Peter."

Pepper sat on the floor beside Nat and stared up into the little galaxy above them. "I was actually looking for you."

"Aren't I the lucky one?" Nat glanced at her, grinning, to which Pepper returned a smile. Then she glanced at the screens. 

"New York in 2012?"

"Yeah, we had both the Space and Mind stones at Avengers tower...if we time it right."

"Strange lived in New York...Bleeker Street. After Tony…" Pepper sighed. "After the ship left and everything settled down, Bruce called me from there. I remember sending a car."

"Shit…" Nat stared up. "That means three of the stones were in New York at the same time. Why weren't you down here sooner?"

"Nat," Pepper said, touching Nat's arm gently, "I need to run something by you."

Without hesitation, Nat swatted the projection away with her hand and turned giving Pepper her full attention. "I know this has been hard."

"That's just it…" Pepper pursed her lips. "I don't think it should be...has to be. This is crazy…" Pepper laughed at herself, rolling her eyes. "I don't want to choose between Tony and Peter. How can I?"

Nat narrowed her eyes, but Pepper could see a twinkle of knowing in them. "Miss Potts, are you suggesting…"

"Yes," Pepper said pointedly. She was blushing, but she knew Nat would be the only one to look past how crazy her idea seemed to tell her if it could actually work. 

"I don't think Tony will take too much convincing." Nat was smirking openly now. "But Peter?"

"I know. But I'm hoping his obvious crush on Tony…"

"And his relative inexperience?"

"When you say it like that it seems sinister."

"I'm teasing you, Pepper." Nat's smirk had become a smile, and she'd taken both of Pepper's hands, squeezing them reassuringly. "If anyone can make it work, it's you."

Pepper closed her eyes. Without knowing it, that's what she really wanted to hear. Because it was selfish and risky, and it was probably stupid. But she wanted reassurance, permission to try to make it reality. 

"Then I guess you'll have to make sure this works," she said, opening her eyes, smiling. 

*****

"...and then Nat said you walked in and just...figured it out," Peter said between bites of stir fry. It was like he hadn't eaten with Buce a few hours--was it even a few hours, he'd lost track--ago, he was so manic with the euphoria of a plan coming together and restless with wanting to get on with it. But his body told him he needed food. "Anyway, we pretty much have it worked out. Tomorrow we're going to test it with Scott...just sending him back to sometime before the snap, and…"

"Peter." Pepper cut in. "Do you trust me?"

Peter's eyes widened, and he couldn't help but dart them back and forth, as if someone were hiding in the shadows. Pepper's dead on gaze was unnerving in intensity. "I...is this some kind of test? It's just...yes, of course...of course I trust you with everything...I just...this feels like a test."

"It's not a test." The flat seriousness of her voice made Peter skeptical. This was the voice she used when she was talking to executives and men who didn't think she had the balls to do what she did for a living. So, he was a little terrified of what was coming next. 

"Is this...where you tell me that you want us to get the stones and completely undo the past six years so that no one gets hurt? Because we have this plan, okay..and…"

"No. That's not what I want."

"Okay, so...if you're choosing…"

"I'm not choosing."

"I totally understand, and it's...wait…" Peter trailed off as her words actually registered in his mind. "What?"

"I'm not choosing. I love you, and I love Tony. I don't think I can change that. I don't want to, and...I hope that's something both of you will be able to accept. 

His jaw dropped. She was so matter-of-fact with every word that he couldn't even consider the possibility that she was drunk or that he was dreaming. Peter knew he was gaping, but this wasn't a possibility that he'd even considered. When Pepper said that they'd figure it out, he wanted to believe her, but he figured eventually she would try to let him down gently when she chose Tony. 

"Um...yeah, okay."

"Yeah, okay?" Pepper leaned back in her chair, and he felt the weight of her stare as he played with his food. 

"I love you...I don't want to lose you, so…" He shrugged. This still didn't feel real. "So, yeah, if that's what you want. We'll...we'll figure it out. Is...I mean, do you think...will Mr. Stark be okay with this?"

She scoffed. "I've dealt with enough sex tapes and scandals that he owes me, even though there's hardly an arrangement like this that Tony _wouldn't_ be okay with."

Peter dropped his fork. "Sex tapes?" He knew there were sex tapes. Everyone did; even though Tony had mostly stopped all that by the time Peter met him, his past hadn't exactly gone away. But Peter didn't want her to think he hadn't actually looked for them when he heard them mentioned in one of those biography retrospective things he'd seen on TV. He coughed. He realized he was blushing, and he rubbed the back of his neck. As he pushed away from the table, Peter nearly toppled his chair over getting up. "Nevermind...I should really go do some more diagnostics...you know...run sims...make sure it's all perfect…"

"Peter, are you all right?" Her brow creased in concern, and he quickly kissed it because he really didn't know how to answer that question. 

"Totally." _Totally_. He was just going to attempt time travel, undo the most catastrophic event in the universe, and his girlfriend also wanted him to share her with Tony Stark. 

Peter headed downstairs to the lounge, ostensibly to go over all of the details one last time. He was grateful that Pepper hadn't followed him. But she wouldn't have; it wasn't her style. She gave him time when he needed it, even when he was too chicken shit to ask for it. But that was just one more mark of her maturity, which was sexy as hell. But when he thought about it, the fact that she decided she wasn't going to make a choice was also sexy as hell. And part of him wanted to go right back upstairs and take her to bed. Because she deserved everything she wanted and more. 

In his indecision, he hesitated, almost tripped over his own feet, then nearly bowled over Scott coming around a corner with a bowl of cereal and a carton of milk. The bowl fell, but Peter caught the milk. 

"Shit, sorry," he said as he squatted down with Scott to pick up the spilled Froot Loops. 

"Five...ten...fifteen second rule? Whatever. The floors here are probably cleaner than any of my dishes at home."

"Yeah." Peter laughed distractedly. 

"What's on your mind? I mean...besides the obvious, which you haven't seemed distracted about at all. Worried you're going to meet your Aunt and she'll fall in love with you because she doesn't recognize the handsome, adult you?" he asked as they both stood. 

"What? No, no." Peter ran his fingers through his hair. "I just…" If he was smart, he would have gone to Nat about this. But he knew he absolutely couldn't face the smug look Nat would for sure give him. She'd know what to do. Pepper had probably already told her, which made it worse, but Peter couldn't make himself do it. "Pepper wants to…" He paused, looking around before saying in a lower tone, "she wants to stay with me…" Peter was steering him into the lounge, which was blissfully empty.

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

Peter shushed him. "And Tony. She wants to be with both of us. Like a...a girl polygamist."

"Polyandrist."

"Whatever!"

Scott opened the milk carton and poured a generous amount into his bowl before taking a swig of it. "Wow. That's really… So, is that it? Is she starting some kind of...whatever a harem is except with men?"

"You know 'polyandry' but you don't know what that version of a harem is?"

"I watched a lot of Jeopardy when I was under house arrest. Somehow that one never came up."

Peter grabbed the milk and took his own swig of it, wiping the moustache from his lips. "When she said we'd figure it out, this wasn't exactly where I thought this would go."

"Okay, so...Pepper Potts is clearly a badass… What's the problem?"

Peter sank down to the floor and hung his head between his knees. "It's Tony Stark, man," he said desperately. 

"I can't tell if that's 'ew, it's Tony Stark' or," Scott said, and as Peter looked up he was wiggling his eyebrows, "if it's 'oooh, it's Tony Stark'. No judgment either way. Don't get me wrong...I can appreciate Stark's brand of hot, but Captain America is way more my type." This, he said between big, dripping bites of cereal. 

Peter let his head drop again. "Dude, how am I supposed to share my girlfriend with Tony Stark. He's like…" He shook his head. It wasn't even Pepper's choice--or lack thereof--that freaked him out. He was a dumbass for not thinking of it first because hardly anyone he knew thought it was a big deal to be bi or poly or pan or whatever. But Peter knew he couldn't compete with Tony, even if Pepper hadn't completely chosen Tony over him. And even if it wasn't a competition, the thought of her with him in their bed--which he guessed really was Tony and Pepper's bed, not his and Pepper's--was…

His mind went blank. The thought of Tony and Pepper in bed together was completely maddening because he was jealous that he wouldn't be there. He knew Tony's sexuality was never completely defined. He'd watched that one bootleg sex tape...more than a few times...while masturbating. "Oh, shit," he whispered.

*****

When she heard Peter come back, Pepper was curled up in bed with a book. He jogged into the bedroom, his cheeks flushed. It must have been from excitement or anger or something else, because she knew it wasn't from the exertion of coming back upstairs, unless he'd decided to go lift a few tons first. But his eyes were bright and impatient, so she put her book down and sat up straighter. 

"You don't want to make a choice, and that's fine. But..." He sat down on the edge of the bed, and Pepper's heart dropped as she waited for what came next. 

"But what?" she asked, impatience creeping into her voice when he paused for too long. 

"You are way out of my league, Pepper."

"Peter, stop…"

"No, just listen. And so is Tony. Look, I don't want to just share you, okay? I don't want some weird schedule and enforced nights in different bedrooms or whatever people do. I want…" He paused, cheeks blazing, but Pepper could see clear, almost childish, excitement in his eyes. "This is probably the stupidest idea I've ever had, but I...I want you and Tony...I want all of us to be together. I think...I really think...that's the only way it'll work."

Pepper blinked, stunned. And when she was silent for another beat, Peter hung his head as he mumbled, "I told you it was stupid."

He looked for all the world like a kid who had just lost a championship basketball game or something and was going to go kick rocks. Pepper reached out to him and took his chin, lifting his face so that he had to look at her. 

"You're sure that's what you want? Not what you think I want?" Of course Peter had a crush on Tony. Tony knew it, she knew it, practically everyone else knew it too. But she thought he would need easing into that kind of relationship. When she'd had that with Tony and Nat, it was Pepper that needed time and coaxing. But it was all she could do now not to grin, to simply embrace what he said and be happy. Because she needed to know that he wasn't just doing this because he thought it was the safest way to stay with her. 

"I don't know if it can work, will work...I mean, I never imagined when I was watching those tapes that I could be…"

"You've seen the tapes…"

"Uh…" Peter's eyes were wide, guilty. She wanted to kiss him, but Pepper held off. "I mean...I know you're good at your job and all, but the internet is kind of forever and I was curious, but then there was more than just the one I went looking for and...um, yes. Sorry."

"I don't know if I'm more annoyed that all of my hard work to get rid of those was futile, or," Pepper murmured as she pulled him close, kissing him hard before continuing, "that you've been holding out on me for six years."

Peter gave her a look that read _Oh, shit, you are actually into this._ And the weight of that settled into Pepper's soul. But there was no relief, no elation. She felt strangled with worry. There were too many variables, too many junctures where the whole endeavor could go wrong before she could even consider a reality where Tony came back to her. Peter's face fell, and he turned his body into her, taking her hands and holding them tightly. 

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Come back," Pepper said firmly, tears beginning to sting her eyes. "No matter what, Peter, you come back to me."

*****

They had talked over the logistics as much as they could. Pepper didn't push. Peter was concerned with getting the stones, and she had no qualms with that taking up the majority of his headspace. He ran through the plan with her, working through all of the things that might go wrong. And even though Pepper didn't want to know, she listened. She didn't want to think about what they would be doing. It wasn't that she was in denial. It was that she knew what that helpless feeling nagging, threatening to consume her was like. She wanted to keep it at bay as long as possible. 

And it was minutes. Mere minutes of waiting in the empty, silent hanger, the machine looming in front of her, before they were back. Peter was grinning as he hurried toward her. He picked Pepper up and spun her around before kissing her. "We got them."

Pepper's smile was short lived, and when Peter saw her face fall, his did too. 

"Nat…" Pepper began. Pepper had never seen such an open show of raw emotion from Natasha. But Clint wasn't beside her, and it was clear that the weight of that was on her shoulders. Pepper went to her and gripped her forearms, trying to project sympathy but not pity. 

"He gave his life for this thing," Nat said gruffly. "So we damn well better get his family back."


	12. Things Might Be Okay

There were more birds. That was the first thing Pepper noticed after the shielding retracted and she'd helped see to Bruce's arm. Once it was done, there had been a moment where they were all silent, as if waiting to breathe. Now, Scott was already on his way back to California, and Nat had gone to be with the Bartons. Pepper was in the lounge, five feeds playing in front of her, none with volume. The return of half the world's population and other living species had immediately caused chaos. She needed to make sure the arc power stations they'd been installing for six years were going to hold up to the increased demand. But she knew they would because Peter had made sure of that in retrofitting them.

Pepper didn't hear Peter come up behind her, and when he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she squeaked in surprise. 

"We did it, Pep." He turned her in his arms, kissing her lightly. "Bruce and I secured the stones. Once everyone is back, Cap will replace them at the points where we took them."

"Is he…"

Peter put a finger on her lips. "If they don't show up soon in one Dr. Strange's magic portal things, Captain Marvel...I mean Carol is going to go to Titan"

Pepper touched his face with her palm. She could practically feel Peter vibrating with excitement, but she could also see the worry in his eyes. It was a shared anxiety, and she was taken back to waiting for that ship to arrive, not seeing Tony walk out of it. Enduring that again, no matter the outcome, would be excruciating. In his place, Pepper would want as much control as she could have in what happened when Tony returned. But it wasn't just Tony Peter had lost. 

"Go. I'll be okay." They had talked about this. After the snap, housing wasn't as scarce. Peter's old apartment had been taken by someone else. He would bring his aunt back to the compound, assuming everyone reappeared where they'd been dusted, which seemed to be the case, and Pepper would wait for Tony. 

Peter kissed her again. "I love you. We got this, okay?" His optimism wasn't forced, and that lightened Pepper's heart a little. 

"Love you too."

*****

The ring of what looked like sparks appeared a beat before F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted Pepper that she had Tony's signal again. Pepper ignored the alert because she was busy catching Tony as he half stumbled through, clinging to Stephen Strange's shoulder. Her mind was torn, overwhelmed with the dread she had felt the first time she saw Strange step through one of those things. But her heart was in her throat at the sight, the feel of Tony. Pepper didn't know the others that stepped through with them, and she didn't particularly care who they were. 

Her world had narrowed to Tony. Blood rushed in her ears, and her chest ached as she saw him battered and bleeding. It took Pepper a moment to realize that Strange was nearly yelling at her.

"...medical facilities? Miss Potts!"

"This way…" The scruffy guy in the leather jacket tried to take her place, but Pepper took as much of Tony's weight as she could as she hurried them toward the med bay. "Please tell me you're a real doctor."

Strange had the gall--for someone in an outfit that was straight out of an episode of Doctor Who or something--to look annoyed, as if the answer were yes and she should have known. They got Tony onto one of the bay examining tables, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. splashed his vitals onto the display along with a quantum field generated projection of what was happening inside of his body.

"The blade missed vital organs, but there's still some repair to be done here. And we need to get this cleaned out before an infection takes hold. Is this suite designed for surgery?"

"Yeah, Doc," Tony rasped. "State of the art."

The force of what she was seeing hit Pepper like plowing into a wall. Peter did not do this just to lose Tony again, and she wasn't going to endure that. "Is his life in danger?" she snapped.

"Not unless something in here is crawling with antibiotic resistant staph. Now, unless you're capable of assisting me with this, I suggest you let me do my work."

"I'm not going anywhere," Pepper said firmly. 

*****

As expected, May was freaking out in typical May fashion. Peter had no doubt that the new occupants of what used to be their apartment had called the police, only the police were just as overwhelmed as everyone else by the sudden reversal of fate. He had guided her out of the building before she processed anything besides "why are these strangers in my space" and she'd hugged him tightly before staring in complete shock. 

"Oh my God, Peter...you're...you are definitely not sixteen anymore."

He laughed and pulled her into his arms, picking her up slightly. Just hearing her voice, smelling her familiar scent--shampoo and citrus from the lotion she used, brought tears to his eyes. 

"It's good to see you too, Aunt May."

"What happened? There were aliens and some kind of spaceship. I was trying to call you...I was so worried. You were not on that spaceship were you? Peter Parker, if you were…"

"May, stop talking…" He was laughing as he said it, too overjoyed to be frustrated at her mothering. "It's been six years… Look, I know it's crazy, okay? But I promise I'll explain all of it to you on the way to the compound."

" _Six years_!" May was practically yelling at him as he guided her to the car and opened the door for her. She was still going on when Peter was behind the wheel. "What compound? Did you join a cult? Oh my god, Peter… You look healthy at least. Please tell me you haven't been surviving on pizza for six years…"

"There were tacos too," he teased, grinning as she slapped his shoulder. "I've got a spot set up for you at the Avengers Compound until you find something else, if that's what you want."

"This is so weird. It seems like I was just sending you to school this morning for that field trip… And now there are people in our apartment and you're...a grown man."

"I know. I'm sorry. Basically, I was helping Mr. Stark fight this alien guy, Thanos, right? We were trying to keep him from getting these super powerful Infinity Stones and snapping away half of all life, but we...I...fucked up, and then he was gone and by the time I got back from space I found out you were gone too… But we figured out how to undo it, so...yeah, that's the short version."

"Shit."

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter watched May sit back heavily and look out the window. It was a lot, and so much more complicated than that. But Peter let May absorb the information as he resisted the urge to ask Karen if he had any messages. He didn't want to have to explain _that_ yet. 

"What is it? You look like you're thinking about something too hard."

Six years and she still could read him like a book. Then again, Peter remembered it hadn't been six years for May at all. He sighed. "Karen, access F.R.I.D.A.Y. to see if Tony and Dr. Strange arrived while I was gone."

"Of course, Peter. Mr. Stark and Doctor Strange, along with Peter Quill and Mantis, arrived shortly after you began your drive. Mr. Stark is currently in surgery."

"Surgery...what…" His heart dropped, and Peter gripped the wheel harder. "Call Pepper."

"Miss Potts is not picking up," Karen said after a moment. "Would you like to leave a message, Peter?"

"No. Get me F.R.I.D.A.Y."

"How can I help you, Peter?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked. Peter had no idea whether she had a different interface profile for him, but he could swear she always sounded more formal than when Pepper talked to her. 

"Let me talk to Pepper."

"Miss Potts has restricted all calls."

"Tell her it's me...please."

A moment later, Pepper appeared on Peter's display, the med bay behind her. She looked tired, eyes red, and she'd pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail. "Peter…"

"Is he okay?" The battle flooded back to Peter, and he gripped the wheel until his knuckles went white. "Thanos…"

"He's okay. He's going to be okay." She closed her eyes, breathing a deep sigh. All Peter wanted to do was to be there to hold her. "Just...come home. I need you."

"I'm on my way. Just...I'll be there soon, okay, Pep?"

When their connection broke, Peter accelerated. He realized he was gritting his teeth before he realized May was staring at him. 

"You want to talk about _that_?"

"No."

"You know you're driving over the speed limit," May said matter-of-factly. 

"May, oh my god…"

"What? Whatever you've got going on that you're not telling me about, you've still got to be safe. You're not above the law, Peter."

All he could do was laugh. It was good to have May there being so much herself. He knew how much he missed her, but he didn't realize how she'd grounded him. And just hearing her voice, her gentle parental nagging, made him feel like things might be okay. 

*****

He felt like he'd been run over by a truck--no, a truck carried by a fucking moon. Tony did not resist the urge to groan. Every muscle in his body hurt. Just opening his eyes to blink seemed like a monumental effort. But he forced himself to do it because he needed to know. He needed to know if he was alive, if this was real. He realized he was tethered--an IV in the back of his hand. He wanted to rip it out. That probably wouldn't hurt as much as everything. But then, as the world began to come into focus, he felt a hand on his. 

"Tony, hey…"

"Pep." His voice was a whisper. "It's you."

"Yeah." Her smile was radiant, so much more because he thought he'd never see it again. "It's me. You're home."

He flicked his eyes to the drip, feeling like he was moving them through Jello. "You giving me the good stuff, Miss Potts?"

"Doctor Strange's orders."

"You're kidding? The wizard is an actual doctor?"

Pepper smoothed his hair. There was something different about her, but his mind was too foggy. Strange had maybe told him how long he had been dusted, trapped, whatever it was. But Tony felt like he was sinking through swathes of cotton. 

"You need to rest, okay?"

"Sure thing," he mumbled. Tony wanted to kiss her, to pull her into his arms. He wanted to feel her skin, smell her perfume. But his eyelids were too heavy, and he couldn't keep swimming through the cotton anymore. So, Tony drifted off to Pepper's smile. 

*****

The well-made plan in Peter's head had been to install May in her space, give her a brief tour, and then let her settle in on her own for the night. That would give him time to check in with Pepper on the Tony situation. Of course, when it turned out that the Tony situation involved surgery, all logical thought left Peter. He was concentrating on what Pepper would need in a desperate attempt to keep the flashbacks of the fight with Thanos from overwhelming him. 

He didn't bother to park in the garage, and he didn't even think to open May's door or tell her what he needed to do. But Peter was dimly aware that she was following him to the medical bay. He mentally kicked himself for not preparing Pepper for this. He should have remembered what happened, that Thanos nearly killed Tony before Dr. Strange gave up the stone. He should have thought about the possibility of Tony coming back wounded, but he'd been too damn short sighted to consider anything beyond how he and Pepper would handle the change. 

He could see her sitting beside Tony's bed through the glass, Rhodey standing beside her. Peter's heart was in his throat when Pepper looked up, meeting his eyes. Then coming out of the room and falling into his arms. Peter held her tightly for a moment, and when she finally pulled away slightly, he ran his thumb over her cheek. 

"Pepper, I'm so sorry. I should have...I didn't think this would happen this way...I should have remembered that he…"

"It's okay. He's okay; he's going to be fine." She put her head against his chest. "I'm just glad you're here."

Peter flinched when he heard May clearing her throat softly. He'd completely forgotten she was there. He'd almost forgotten why he'd been gone in the first place. And when he looked up to see her face--definitely her _what the fuck_ face, he felt his cheeks flush. 

"Uh, May...this is…"

Pepper pulled away from him, and Peter was amazed at how fast she went from emotional wreck to all business. Even the gesture of wiping her eyes seemed formal. "Ms. Parker, I'm…"

"Pepper Potts, I know." May shook her outstretched hand. "What's...happening here?"

"May, it's...I'll talk to you…"

"Sorry to interrupt the reunion," Rhodey leaned out and said, "but he's waking up again."

Peter gave a quick, apologetic glance to May, but he followed Pepper in, his hand on the small of her back. Tony was struggling to sit up, and in the small space, Peter, Rhodey, and Pepper were almost tripping over each other to either stop him or help him--Peter wasn't sure which, really. 

"Hey, kid," Tony rasped, eyes still heavy as he leaned back on the extra pillow Pepper slid behind him. 

"Hey...hi..." Peter laughed nervously. "Hey there, Mr. Stark."

"Pep, look it's the kid. Not really a kid anymore, is he?"

"I know, Tony," she said firmly, "but you need to rest."

"Oh, look, it's his hot aunt too. Hi." He gave a half wave with the IV-free hand.

That old, familiar feeling of wanting to crawl into bed and hide under the covers--or something similar--crept over Peter. It wasn't like Tony Stark was known for his ability to control his inhibitions, but seeing him like this, especially after so long, was too much second-hand embarrassment for Peter to handle. His vision of this moment was for Tony to greet him happily before they talked man to man--well, man to man to woman because Pepper would, of course be there, by his side, showing her solidarity with him and their plan. 

As things stood, Pepper had her hands on Tony's chest, keeping him from trying to stand or open up his stitches or do whatever else he thought he could do with the help of morphine. 

"We should…" Peter swallowed. "We're gonna give you some space, okay, Mr. Stark?"

Peter nearly backed into May before hustling her out. He gave Pepper a look through the glass, and he was relieved to see that hers was apologetic. She mouthed _I love you_ before turning back to Tony. 

*****

Tony didn't like the way his hand was a little shaky when he put his glass of orange juice back down. But with the heavy duty stuff out of his system and days on bed rest, he had to concede that the shakes were acceptable for the present moment. If Strange could operate with shaking hands--he made a mental note to see how the wizard handled that one because Tony had definitely seen a tremor on the ship, not to mention the scars--Tony Stark could eat breakfast with them. 

Pepper came back in holding a jar that he already didn't like the look of and a mostly empty squeeze container that had once been purple. 

"We have orange marmalade and the dregs of grape jelly." She plunked them both down on his tray. 

"Orange marmalade, really? The unwanted matron aunt of jams and jellies--who has been doing the grocery order around here?" Still, he began to spread the marmalade on his toast. "Hey, Pep, what did Strange have me on anyway? I could have sworn Peter looked like, you know, an adult that night he was here."

Pepper's face fell into a look of concern that bordered on pity but wasn't quite there. He'd seen it before and had even seen it directed his way. But she composed herself quickly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear--which was her tell that she was about to break some news. 

"Tony, it's been six years…"

Tony put down his toast mid bite and swallowed. "Excuse me?"

"A lot has happened," she said quietly. "We didn't have a solution to bringing everyone back until a year ago, and it took that long for Peter and Bruce to make it work."

It was like his mind stuttered. And once his thoughts started again, Tony couldn't stop them. That explained why Pepper looked different--not bad, but different. Actually it was good. She looked good, really good. And considering he had left her after so many promises not to keep doing that, he felt grateful--which in itself was unfamiliar to Tony--that she was even there after six years. 

"Guess I need to play catch-up."

"You can do that later. Right now, just get better. Strange said you got really lucky."

He started to pick up his toast again but stopped, something catching in his mind. "Okay, but I definitely was high when I thought you mouthed 'I love you' to the kid."

"Tony…" She rested her hand on his arm. He waited for her to say he was being ridiculous, that he'd been really far gone and she was surprised he remembered anything about that. But Pepper didn't. In fact, she looked calm and poised--determined, even--the way she did when she was going to do something difficult. 

"Okay," he said slowly. "Six years." Tony wanted to pace. He wanted to get up, stalk around the room, maybe throw something. But he was the idiot who ran off to save the world and failed miserably. He was the one who left her alone. He picked up her hand, rubbing his thumb over her ring finger, where her ring should have been and most definitely wasn't. "First of all...ouch. But I get it. Six years… I disappear on a spaceship, and of course you're going to move on. I mean, I'd like to hope you mourned my loss for two...maybe three years. Too much?" He shook his head, looking away from Pepper. "And the kid...wow. Saved the world and got the girl. A regular hero is our Mister Peter Parker. But, no, seriously, Pepper...I'm happy for you. You deserve it, you deserve better than me, always have…" He stopped when he realized she was grinning, shaking her head at him. "What?"

"I missed the sound of your voice." Pepper leaned over and kissed him slowly. And Tony couldn't help but respond. 

"What's...happening here? I thought you… Are we…?"

"We have a lot to talk about."


	13. We Could Be Good

Watching Jeopardy with May at the Compound didn't exactly capture the experience of sitting together in their apartment, cartons of takeout on the coffee table while they shouted answers at the TV. But Peter was just glad to be sitting anywhere next to May at all. Yes, Peter had grown up, proving to himself that he could exist without her, but that wasn't the point. He didn't want to have to.

"Come on, you can't yell out the question over the top of me. That's not how it works."

May sank back onto the sofa and took a corn chip from the bowl he was holding. She'd gotten it wrong anyway. “Nope. I don’t remember that rule.”

“I don’t think selective amnesia is an after effect of dusting, May.” That got him a punch in the bicep. 

“I’ve got a job interview tomorrow.”

Peter shifted, tuning the commercial that had just come on out. “Something like your old job or…?”

“No, running a non-profit for everyone who blipped…”

“Snapped.” He hated _blip_.

“Whatever. Everyone who came back to…” May shrugged, hair falling over her shoulders. “This.”

“Cool. Do you need me to drive you? Or if it’s super early, you could catch a ride with Pepper.”

Peter watched her face change, and he instantly regretted bringing that one up. Because he had always been able to talk to May about anything. So, she expected him to. She had zero filter. He wasn’t ready for that when it came to Pepper and certainly not Pepper and Tony. 

“So?” May pursed her lips, looking over the rim of her glasses at him. 

“So, what? It’s back on.” Peter pointed to the TV but she didn’t budge. 

“So, you’re, what? In a throuple?”

Peter fought the urge to hide underneath a throw pillow. “No...I mean, yes but...it’s not.” He groaned. “It’s complicated, okay?”

“Yeah, I’d say dating one person twice your age is complicated, let alone two.” Before Peter could say anything, she put her hand on his arm. “I get it, okay? Ben was the hot college professor. It was fun...risky.”

“May, I really can’t handle hearing about that, so can we just...fast forward or something?”

“I’m saying that I know these things might be unconventional but that they can work… it’s just that I don’t want you to get hurt. They were engaged before all of this. I don’t want you to get your heart broken.” 

“Thank you.” Peter repeated it, softly as he realized he actually did mean it. Even her parental concern was something he missed. He hugged May quickly before clearing his throat. “I’m happy. I’ve got this. Can we just...watch Final Jeopardy now and...not continue having this conversation ever again?”

*****

Peter glanced at Pepper as they got closer to the living room and could hear the sound of music--mostly a heavy bass beat--bleeding into the hallway. They'd both been at a board meeting. Peter was giving an update on the Arc Reactor Stations project and their plans now that half the world's population had returned. That was the easy part. It was science and numbers, and he could do both. Pepper had been there to hash out just what the fuck they were going to do now that some of the board members and, of course, Tony were back. He didn't envy her that, especially given the adjustments for Tony in their personal lives, and he was thankful that he didn't have to stay for that part of the meeting. 

"What…"

She shook her head and grabbed his hand, stopping their progress. "I didn't expect him to be back so soon, but...I'm also not surprised."

Pepper actually looked nervous, and that terrified Peter. If she was nervous, he wanted to run scared, tail between his legs. Instead, he smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "We've got this."

When they walked in, Tony was on the sofa with a projection of the data and schematics from the time heist above the coffee table. He glanced up at them, and Peter didn't know what to make of his expression. 

"Oh, hey guys," Tony said flippantly, yelling to be heard above the music. "I was just catching up."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.," Pepper snapped, "end playback."

"I was really vibing--isn't that what the kids say these days or at least what they said six years ago, maybe, I don't know--anyway, I was really vibing on that. So," he said as he got up, clapped his hands and rubbed them together, "you two look professional. Hot date? Like a board meeting?"

Peter didn't recognize the wild look in Tony's eyes. "Did you hack the interface for everyone in Europe or just the security cameras?"

"Yeah, we'll have to get Happy on that one. So…" Tony fixed his eyes on Pepper. "You gave my R&D department to Whiz Kid, here?"

"No." Pepper's voice was steady. She didn't look nervous to Peter anymore. She looked close to annoyed. "I gave _my_ R&D department to Peter."

"Last time I checked, I was still the majority stakeholder."

"Last time I checked, you were legally dead and on doctor's orders to rest." Pepper had crossed her arms, and Peter was torn between wanting to punch the air in response to that sick burn and wanting to take her directly to bed. Instead he just cleared his throat. 

"Heading Stark R&D is...it has been an absolute honor, Tony, um, Mr. Stark," Peter said. He really wasn't sure which form of address he should be going with at this particular moment. "And if you were listening in during the meeting, I think you know I've...uh, held my own in the role."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd say you've more than held your own. Come here…" He walked toward the bedroom, and Peter glanced to Pepper before following. Tony threw open their closet and walked in. 

"Look at this. You took over my closet. You took over part of my company. You even took my girl."

Peter felt his face flush. "I think you're being pretty unfair to me, not to mention disrespectful to Pepper."

"Oh, yeah? You wanna know what's unfair? I'll tell you…"

"That's enough," Pepper said from the closet door. "If you two need to measure dicks, you can get it over with now, but I'm not going to subject myself to it."

Before either Peter or Tony could respond, she closed the door--not slammed, but it was distinctly firm--and engaged the lock. 

"Work it out," she called from the other side. And then there was silence. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., disengage the lock." 

"Sorry, boss. I'm afraid it's analog." 

He threw up his hands and started pacing around the closet. The whole thing was about the size of Peter's room in the old apartment, but he'd gotten used to that by now. He leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor. 

"Got a screwdriver?" Tony stopped and jiggled the doorknob. 

"Uh, no."

"Six years." Tony put his hands on his hips and looked up, shaking his head. "I'm supposed to be married, have a kid or maybe a dog...or some houseplants. But I had to save the world one last time." He sucked in a breath. "Always one last time."

"I'm sorry…" Peter felt that old, familiar shame creep into his mind. "Just two more seconds, and I could have had that gauntlet off of him." He hung his head between his knees. 

"If you're going to blame anyone for that clusterfuck, kid, blame Quill. If he hadn't gone all Buckaroo Bonzai, we wouldn't be here."

"I guess." They were quiet, and Tony slid down to the floor too. The distance of the closet seemed like a chasm that Peter wouldn't be able to cross. He sighed, looking up at Tony, forcing himself to look into his eyes. "I really love her."

"You and me both." Tony leaned his head against the door. "So...what's supposed to happen now. Do we fight to the death or is this some kind of 'if you love something let it go' test?"

"What?" Peter squinted, cocking his head. "Why? Those are both really stupid."

When Tony laughed, it wasn't completely humorless. He seemed like himself for an instant. And Peter was overwhelmed with how much he missed him. 

"You got me there." Tony cocked his head. "You must be a lot smoother than I ever would have given you credit for, Parker. Pep could have anyone she wants."

"You think I don't know that? It's not like I stumbled off that ship and we fell into bed." Peter's cheeks were flaming. He tried to keep his voice calm, and he knew he was failing miserably. "She mourned you, man. We both did! You were with us every day...every minute…" He swiped furiously at the tears forming in his eyes. He was seventeen again, and Peter realized how much he hated feeling helpless. 

Tony looked distant, sad. Peter felt like he almost looked lost. Then he stood, offering his hand to Peter, which Peter took to stand. 

“Look, I love her, you love her...can we agree to respect whatever decision she makes?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Good. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t try to get her back.”

Peter didn’t know whether to punch him or to laugh. “Dude, you know I have super powers, right? I could kick your ass.”

“Oh, yeah? I’d like to see you try because…”

His hands were sweating, and Peter tried to shut off his brain. He shoved Tony back against the door and kissed him hard, eyes squeezed shut. He was afraid if he opened them, this would be a dream—all of it would be a dream. When he pulled away, he blinked as Tony rubbed his own chin. 

“Huh,” was all Tony said. 

“Okay, Pepper wanted time to ease into this, but you…”

Tony held up his finger and made that noise he always made when Peter was talking too much and wanted everyone else to shut up. Peter did without hesitation. 

“ _This_ is her choice...what she wants?” A slow grin spread across his face as he shook his head. This smile was genuine. Peter could see the wrinkles around his eyes, the light returning there. “You and me and...Pepper?”

“Um, yeah…”

“She’s brilliant. She’s the most brilliant woman I know.” He clapped Peter on the back. “Why didn’t she just lead with this?”

Peter watched the play of emotions on Tony's face--tiny things, like how the creases from his smile developed a hard edge when his forehead wrinkled in thought--and realized he was wildly unprepared for this. He thought of all the times he'd misread Tony, and he felt fifteen again. Peter could read Pepper's smallest gesture; he was going to have to start at square one here.

"You kissed me," Tony said suddenly. He was still holding Peter's shoulder, but he turned so they were facing each other, almost eye to eye. And then came an expression that Peter knew not because he knew Tony but because he was human. Tony's hand trailed from Peter's shoulder to his bicep. His eyes continued to travel, looking Peter down and then up. "You're better than a halfway decent kisser."

"Yeah." Peter was blushing again. Pepper had looked at him like that plenty of times; it always did it for Peter. But this was Tony Stark, and it seemed like Tony was finally realizing that Peter was not a teen anymore. "Pepper helped with that."

"Oh yeah? I bet she did." Tony put one of his hands on Peter's chest, and then Peter realized Tony was twisting his fingers in his shirt, pulling him closer so that they were nose to nose. "What else did Pepper teach you, kid?"

"Uh...well…"

But Tony put his fingers to Peter's lips. "Show, don't tell."

Then Tony was kissing him--hard--and Peter didn't know if that was his own moan he heard or Tony's, but their bodies were pressed together so that Peter could feel _everything_. He scrambled to pull off his shirt as soon as Tony's hands were underneath it. Then Tony was pushing his hand down Peter's pants. Peter bucked against it when Tony touched his cock. He fumbled with the button of Tony's jeans, feeling like he did the first time he'd had sex with Pepper that night in the lab. And that only made him want Tony more. 

When Peter sank to his knees he was trembling with excitement, nervousness, and his own needs. Instinct drove him, but in the back of his mind, he thought about how Pepper's mouth felt, what she did. So he started with Tony's balls, licking them, sucking them lightly. When he pressed his tongue to Tony's taint, Tony maoned.

"Oh, yeah...definitely...some Pepper...there."

Peter felt Tony's fingers in his hair and a gentle tug. He only hesitated a moment before wrapping his lips around the head of Tony's cock and taking his length into his mouth. He had Tony Stark's cock in his mouth. Peter could have come right then. Tony's hand guided him, keeping him from going too fast, and from the sounds Tony was making, Peter knew he was savoring it. When Tony came, Peter swallowed involuntarily. He didn't think he minded though. And Tony slid down next to him to kiss him. 

Even with his own cock practically throbbing, Peter felt satisfied. He felt like this wasn't really happening, like all of his apprehension had been a dream. He wasn't expecting it, but Tony undid Peter's pants. At the sight of Peter's erection, Tony just raised his eyebrows. And Peter was about to ask until Tony's fingers closed around his shaft. 

"Oh, shit," he moaned. And it wasn't long into the handjob before Peter came hard and fast. 

As they both sat there, their backs against the closet wall, Tony started to chuckle. 

"Honey," Tony called, "you can let us out now."

When Pepper opened the door a few minutes later, she took in their disheveled states without comment. Peter saw the way Tony looked at her for what seemed like the first time. He wondered how many things, how many people Tony looked at with that kind of appreciation bordering on awe, with that depth of love. A tremendous guilt threatened to settle on Peter for coming between that. But he loved Pepper just as much.

He straightened his clothes and pushed himself up, offering Tony a hand. 

"We're gonna need a bigger bed," Tony mumbled as he stepped out of the closet. 

"I'm having a California king delivered," Pepper said over her shoulder. 

Peter blinked. He never knew how she managed to stay one step ahead of him, but apparently she managed to do it with Tony too. It wasn't long after they'd settled in the living room that Peter could hear Tony snoring. He didn't know how Tony could take up so much room on the sofa, but somehow he did. And he was absolutely sound asleep. Peter fidgeted, unsure of what happened next. But Pepper came over from the kitchen and handed him a glass of wine. 

"Does he always do that?"

"No, actually. Sleep isn't something Tony has ever done a lot of, especially in the past few--well, his past few--years." She sat down beside him, close enough that their knees touched when she turned to him. 

"What...I mean, where exactly do we go from here?"

"We take it slow…"

" _That_ was taking it slow?"

Pepper smiled that soft, knowing smile that made him melt every time. And as if that weren't enough, she set her wine glass aside and straddled his lap, cupping his face in her hands. "Are you really okay with this?"

"Yes." Peter didn't have to think. He was sure about that part. It was just fitting all the little pieces together that made him nervous. What if it all fell apart with one stupid thing he might not even realize he was doing "You and Tony...you know each other so well. You always seemed so...perfect together."

"Are we perfect together?"

"No...I mean, yes…" Peter furrowed his brow. "Is this a trick question?"

"No." Pepper kissed him softly. "I just meant that Tony and I were good, really good. But it was hardly perfect. And you and I…" Pepper rested her forehead against Peter's. She projected calm; she could do it even when she didn't feel it. But Peter knew she felt it now. And that settled deep into his soul. If she really thought it would be okay, that it could work, he trusted that. He wanted it. "We've been really good too. We've been… I don't think I could have made it through this without you."

She could make it through anything--Peter was sure of that. But he kept that thought to himself. He put his free hand on her hip and circled his thumb underneath her shirt, touching her skin. "This could be good. We...all of us...we could be…"

"Good," Pepper murmured as she kissed him again. 

And Peter let it go. He gave her his trust, shelved his anxiety and pulled her close. When kissing Pepper Potts with Tony Stark snoring on the sofa beside them would become normal, he had no idea. But he was ready.


	14. Priorities

Pepper, holding the mug in both hands, sipped her coffee as she stared at the most prominent screen. She'd worked late the night before and the one before that, but the chaos that reinstating half of all life caused was starting to grow into some kind of order. The natural world had done well for itself in half of humanity's absence. Endangered species had begun to repopulate. The environment had begun to heal. In truth, she wasn't sure how much longer the planet would have survived going the way they had been. The Doomsday Clock had even moved back a few seconds in the six years Tony had been gone. 

Now that everyone was restored, she was glad to see that people were pushing to maintain the environmental priorities, to continue to use clean energy and find solutions that fit the new reality. Pepper felt lucky to be in a place where that could be a priority, where resources could be diverted to helping those who had returned as well as fighting not to undo the positive effects that the snap caused. Some developing nations--and even some developed ones--were in chaos with political power struggles and worse. Earth hadn't become a utopia since the snap, but the catastrophic loss had put some priorities into sharp relief. 

Of course, it wasn't a total return of all life. There had been accidents caused by the snap, suicides in its wake. The same had been true when they reversed it. She put her mug down as one of the smaller screens caught her eye. Pepper pinched its edges and widened it, centering it between the other four. 

"...radio silence from Stark Industries power couple Pepper Potts and former intern Peter Parker since Tony Stark's return. What's going on behind closed doors and will Pepper return to Tony now that he's back? We've got word from a source close to…"

"Have you always watched this crap?" Tony asked from behind her. Pepper turned to see him grab the projection and mime balling it up and tossing it away, leaving the table clear. 

"Good morning to you too."

"Where's the kid?" He slid into the chair beside Pepper and stole a gulp from her mug. She rolled her eyes as she got up and poured him his own--black. 

"Peter--who is not a kid--is at the office. Weekly team meeting."

"Gimme a break, Pep. One minute I was scolding him for following me into space and the next he's capable of growing facial hair and sleeping with my fiancé...wait, he has team meetings? Why does he have team meetings? I never had team meetings."

"Building suits in your basement and having someone file patents while someone else works new inventions off of some bone you've thrown them from your own cast offs isn't exactly stellar departmental management. Besides, you were never actually the head of R&D."

Tony stared into his coffee for a beat too long, but Pepper let the moment continue. Silence from Tony had a rare weight; She didn't know what he was thinking now, but she trusted that he would tell her, soon or when he was ready to. 

"You worked late last night."

"Yeah, it's…"

"I looked at the files...what you did with the arc reactor plants. Risky." He leaned back in his chair, coffee mug in his hand. "We'd only tested them on that kind of scale in simulations, and…"

"I read the data, Tony. I knew the risks. It paid off, and…" She smiled fondly. "It's what you would have done in my situation."

"I don't know…" He scratched his head thoughtfully. "After that...after Thanos...seeing half of everyone I loved, possibly seeing you turn to Ash...I think I would have lost my shit."

"Tony…" Pepper took his coffee mug to set aside, then she grabbed both of Tony's hands, folding them into her own. She knew now. She understood the silence, the distant look in his eyes. It was the Battle of New York all over again, only this time, he hadn't saved the day. The thing he had worked so hard to prevent since that day he went through a wormhole with a nuke actually happened. "It's over."

"I know." He closed his eyes. "But what about next time?"

There always seemed to be a next time. That was the worst part. After New York there was Ultron and everything else before, after, and in between those two. Pepper dealt with that in her own way--they all did. But the way Tony dealt, or didn't, always wound up nearly killing him. She wouldn't have that. Not this time. 

"Next time you'll be there. Peter will be there. Nat and all of the other Avengers. You're not doing this alone. You never have been." She got up. He looked pale and not exactly frail but a little rough around the edges. Pepper pushed his hair off of his forehead. "And I won't let you spiral into an endless cycle of anxiety about preventing the end of the world because I lived it, Tony. I lived it for six years, and now that I have you back I need you to be present, to be here with me and with Peter."

Finally, he smiled. It was wan, but it was his. Pepper was happy to see it, to have his eyes looking up into hers. Then she sighed. Life went on. It had for six years, and she couldn't stop it for long even with Tony back. "I need to get to work."

"Or you could stay. I bet your boss wouldn't mind. Oh, wait...that's you." He smirked. 

"Tony…" Pepper yelped as he pulled her down onto his lap, circling his arms around her. "Your stitches."

"Fuck my stitches." He shifted underneath her as she rested her hands on his shoulders. "You know," Tony murmured, "you look...amazing. I think being the older woman suits you."

"I don't know if that's the kind of flattery that will get you anywhere…"

"Yeah?" He cocked his head, thoughtful, almost mischievous."What kind does Peter use to get somewhere?"

"Are you really going to do this?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to play catch up, seeing what you like about him...besides the fact that he is _very_ well endowed."

Pepper smirked as she leaned forward to kiss Tony while she murmured, "He is, isn't he? And...flexible."

He stared up at her again, and Pepper could see uncertainty in his eyes. She knew it because she'd seen it before, because she was one of the few who knew how to recognize it. But Tony would either talk to her about it or he wouldn't. It would come to a head eventually. 

"Oh, yeah, well my...tongue is flexible. I mean, it's been a while. I could give you a little reminder, just a demo, if you want to forget about the office and head back to the bedroom."

"All the way to the bedroom?"

"Miss Potts, I don't know that I've ever known you to be so impatient."

That mock sarcasm that Pepper knew so well and came so easily to Tony was so playful. And his eyes glinted, covering his misgivings. Pepper touched his cheek, and she felt something break inside of her before the familiar sting of tears blurred her vision. 

"Hey, Pepper...it's okay...what'd I say?" He sat straighter, held her tighter.

"I'm...I just missed you so much, and you're actually here." She wanted to laugh, to take comfort in his touch, but she only sobbed as the feelings of loss she'd grappled with six years before threatened to swallow her whole again. "I _mourned_ you and dreamt about you and ached for you every goddamned day...all because you had to go save the world one more time." She looked up, realizing how futile it was to even be angry, especially now. And Pepper laughed through her tears as she slapped his chest, only half in jest. "A spaceship, Tony...after you promised there would be no more surprises."

He wiped her tears away with his fingertips. "You know...the kid ran off to save the world too."

Pepper looked at him, knowing her expression was too hard, too fierce for the moment. "And he came back completely broken because he couldn't save _you_."

"Okay…" Tony scrubbed his face with his hands, and when he pulled them away, he looked tired. "I'm sorry. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you...and to the kid."

Sighing, Pepper stood. She dabbed at her eyes, knowing she would need to redo her makeup "You are who you are, Tony." She kissed his forehead. "I can't change you; I wouldn't. This is...it's a lot...for all of us."

He took her hand, kissed her fingers, then nipped at them playfully. "We're not going to the bedroom anymore, are we?"

"I'm going to work. You're going to rest."

"How about...I go into the office with you?"

Pepper laughed. "Absolutely not."

Having Tony at the office was like dealing with Take Your Toddler to Work Day. He needed something to do, and even when he had something, he was still a handful because his name was on the building. And she needed to finalize all of the legalities before integrating him back into the Stark Industries matrix. 

"Come on." He held her hand as he leaned his head against her hip, looking up at her, making his eyes as sad as possible, which only made Pepper shake her head. "I won't bother you at all. I'll bother Peter."

"You're still dead, and Happy isn't going to restore your security privileges until the lawyers have fixed that." She kissed the top of his head and pulled away gently. Pepper knew she couldn't make Tony rest, so she had to be content with whittling down some of his options. 

*****

"You really got that out of shape when you were space dust?"

Tony heard Rhodey's voice from across the room, so he stopped trying to lift the bar above him and just laid back on the bench, taking a deep breath. Pepper was right--he should be resting. But the frustration brought him here after he wandered down to the lab only to find that it wasn't really _his_ anymore. Everything was there; it's just that it wasn't where Tony had left it, entirely. The whole place had Peter all over it, and he felt enormously peeved about feeling out of place in a space he'd created for himself. 

After a moment, he opened his eyes and sat up. Tony cocked his head as he took Rhodey in. "Wow, look who turned into an old man while I was gone."

They met by shaking hands and folding each other into a hug. Tony hadn't seen Rhodes since his early days in the sick bay. The world outside had taken his friend away. The government was in disarray, the military. The world had moved on, gotten back on its feet, and suddenly everyone had been pulled six years into the past while the missing half tried to find a place in the future they hadn't known they were coming back to. 

"You look less like death." Rhodey took Tony's place on the bench, while Tony settled behind his head to spot him. "How are you settling in?"

"Is that you're subtle way of asking about the Mrs. Robinson situation?"

"You brought it up." 

Tony rolled his eyes. He wasn't ready to talk through his feelings with Rhodey. He wasn't even ready to put his feelings in order enough to put them into words. But he did realize that Rhodey had lived with it a hell of a lot longer than he had. "Did you at least try to defend my honor?"

Rhodey scoffed. "What honor? Look, man, Pepper let me know in no uncertain terms that it wasn't really my business. And, to be honest, I can't blame her for moving on--I was just surprised by her choice."

"Okay, yeah…" Tony scratched his head. "I'm gonna go get a cheeseburger...somewhere that's not here."

"Because Pepper told you to rest?"

"Because I am an adult who wants a burger that isn't Impossible."

"You're just mad that you didn't get in on the ground floor of that." Rhodey stood. "Come on. I know a place we can go and not talk about your love life."

Tony appreciated that. Pepper was formidable, especially when she'd made up her mind about something. She was still the woman he loved, the woman he constantly had to remind himself not to underestimate. But he felt like he was learning her all over again. 

*****

When he came in that night, the air felt different. He knew it was because it was Tony waiting for him, not Pepper, not empty rooms. And his stomach was in knots, his heart beating too fast. Peter slipped off his shoes as he took a calming breath, then one more for good measure. When he walked into the living room, Tony was playing his Playstation. 

"Oh, whoops, look at that, dad's home, gotta go," Tony said before just switching it off. He was losing anyway. He tossed the controller and earpiece onto the table and leaned back on the sofa, looking up at Peter. "Where's Pep?"

"Staying in the city." Peter ran his hand through his hair. "She has a couple of early meetings in the morning."

"Huh." Tony looked unconvinced and more than that, skeptical. When Peter actually thought about it, he wondered if that wasn't warranted. But he resisted the urge to pull up Pepper's calendar. 

"Hungry?" Peter asked, making his way to the kitchen. 

"No, I ate earlier." Tony got off the sofa, following him. "Besides, have you seen what's in that fridge?"

"Uh, yeah…" He flicked his wrist, and noticed Tony's attention sharpen on the thin bracelet he wore transforming into a web shooter. 

"Nanotech?"

"Yeah." Peter grinned. He shot a web up to one of the ceiling panels, sliding it over, and then he leapt up, sticking there long enough to pull out some of his snacks, before replacing it and vaulting back down. "Tinkered with your design for one of my projects while I was at MIT and figured out how to house them in a slimmer casing."

"Is that so?" Tony grabbed a bag of Cheetos from his hands and opened it. "I could sue you for IP violations."

Peter's eyes widened. He couldn't tell if Tony was being serious or not. In fact, this was bordering on surreal. He was in what he'd come to think of as his own home but that was actually also Tony Stark's home, with Tony eating his snacks and accusing him of trade secret theft...or something. "Uh...actually Stark Industries owns the patent, and as head of R&D…"

"I'm kidding, kid. Come on…" Tony held out his hand and crooked his fingers impatiently. "Give it here."

"The nano bracelet or the Twizzlers?" Peter offered them both for good measure. "Dude, please don't tell Pepper about my stash."

"That's cute." Tony tossed back the Twizzlers and eyed the bracelet. 

"Oh," Peter said as he got the peanut butter out of the fridge--he actually liked the organic stuff Pepper bought, "it's coded to my biometrics." He put a few pieces of pita in the toaster oven. 

"Huh...why didn't I think about that?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I mean, I built off of your tech, so I kinda expected to find the blueprints of that in your files." Peter pulled the pita out and stared intently at them as he slathered on peanut butter. "Uh, anyway…" He rolled the makeshift sandwiches up and ate half of one in one bite before he realized that Tony was staring at him.

"Where'd you learn to eat like this? MIT? That's so not Pepper approved."

Peter took his plate, along with the Twizzlers and a glass of milk to the sofa, where Tony sat beside him still eating Cheetos. 

"No one really lived in the dorms. The snap left everything...well, it was just chaos for a little while with so many people just vanishing. Pretty much my entire class telecommuted for classes and stuff."

"So, your college experience was, what? Hanging around here having wild parties with Steve Rogers?"

"So wild." Peter smiled to himself. "I had Pepper though."

"That's it. We're going out."

"Uh… Out?"

"Yes." Tony got up and licked the cheese off of his fingers, which Peter found surprisingly erotic. "Get dressed."

"I am dressed." Peter looked down at himself--tee shirt and jeans with a few grease stains on them. 

He was not dressed. At least, he wasn't dressed to Tony's standards. Dressed was a suit over a vintage tee--Peter had acquired a few of his own but still preferred one or two of Tony's--with a pair of some kind of designer boots Pepper had given him for Christmas. Tony could have just told him that without making such a production out of it, but Peter had to admit he kinda liked having Tony make a fuss over him. 

Looking cool was easy because Pepper made sure all his clothes were tailored. The differences were subtle, but Peter could appreciate the change they made. Acting cool was...entirely another matter--especially when he had Tony to contend with. For as long as Peter remembered, his greatest icon of effortless charm was Tony Stark. And now he was trying not to trip over his own feet as he and Tony were being escorted to a table in the VIP section of a club. 

"Relax," Tony yelled over the music as they settled into a cozy, semi-circle booth. He was wearing sunglasses, which looked incredibly hot. But it was so dark inside, Peter wondered how Tony could even see. 

"Did you do this with Pepper?" 

"Pepper hates this--always has." Peter could believe that. He saw Tony flash a smile and glanced up to see a waiter, probably his own age pouring two glasses of single malt scotch on the rocks. "To, ah," Tony said, raising his glass, "not being space dust. Cheers."

Peter clinked his glass and took a sip. He would rather just have a beer, but he closed his eyes, let himself really taste--smoke and heather. Pepper had brought Peter into her life, but no one's lives had been the same after the snap. He didn't know if this type of scene was part of her normal, Tony's normal. 

"You know what we need?" Peter did not know, but Tony didn't wait. "Shots. You need shots. I'm too old for shots. Well, maybe one shot."

"You know it's like...virtually impossible for me to get drunk, right?" Peter said over the music. 

"Healing factor, yeah." Tony grinned and handed Peter two shots. "Pretty sure we're going to test the limits of that tonight."

The glint in Tony's eyes was thrilling. Peter pounded both shots just to have something to do besides stare, and Tony was ready with two more. It took an inhuman amount of alcohol before Tony could drag Peter out onto the dance floor. Peter felt like he was swimming through warm water. The music seemed distant and his own heartbeat was in his ears. But Tony was grabbing his hips, pulling him closer to the point where it felt like no one else was on the dance floor with them. 

Peter had danced with Pepper. He'd held her close, cheek against his, bodies swaying. That had been gentle, romantic. This...Tony's hips grinding into his, Tony's hands on his ass… This had Peter rock hard. The buzz from the alcohol didn't last, but Peter didn't need it. Tony pulled him close, kissing him hungrily as he ran his fingers through Peter's hair. It was as if every dream--wet dream, if he didn't kid himself--he'd ever had about Tony was coming true. 

Except, Peter hadn't planned on practically carrying a stumbling Tony back home at the end of the night. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Pepper's shoes sitting beside her bag, and Peter didn't know why he instantly felt guilty. He tried to shush Tony, who was mumbling something about his wine cellar and whether Peter had taken that over too. But Pepper wasn't asleep, as he hoped. Instead, she was curled up on the sofa reading. 

"Uh, hey," Peter said, steadying Tony as they stopped. "I thought you were staying in the city."

Pepper marked her page and closed the book. She paused before answering, giving them both an appraising look. "We went late and finished tonight, so there was no need. I see you two were out enjoying yourselves."

"Honey!" Tony blurted. "You're home. Have you ever danced with Peter because…" He trailed off and gave a wink. Peter couldn't tell if Tony meant for it to be that exaggerated. 

"Mmhm," she intoned as she slipped an arm around Tony's waist and started them toward the bedroom. "And were you trying to keep up with Peter with drinks too?"

"I'm not dead, am I?"

Pepper glanced over the top of Tony's head to Peter. "Get a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofen."

He did so without comment, and once he brought them to the bedroom, Peter saw Pepper slipping Tony's shoes off while he lay face down on the bed. She had Peter put everything on the nightstand. Once they were back in the living room, he flopped onto the sofa beside her. 

"I'm sorry. We were talking about MIT, and when I told him what it had been like, he insisted on going out…"

Smiling, Pepper pulled his head into her lap. The feeling of her fingers running through his hair was instantly soothing, and Peter felt himself relax. "Peter, dealing with this aspect of Tony's life literally used to be a regular part of my job. He'll wake up tomorrow and realize why he stopped."

"I just thought…" Peter sighed, closing his eyes and gathering his words. "I thought maybe we'd have a chance to connect more tonight, and when we were dancing it was…"

"Hot?" Pepper offered. He opened his eyes to her smirk. 

"I mean, yeah. And we could have left then…"

"I doubt it'll be in that context again, but you're going to have to get used to Tony taking everything to extremes and excess."

Peter yawned and thought to himself about how it must feel to blink and find six years had gone by. Even if Tony was a billionaire philanthropist playboy, he had to acclimate just like everyone else who'd been snapped away. 

"Come on." Pepper gently nudged Peter's head off of her lap before getting up. "We'll sleep in one of the guest rooms."

It was irrational--Peter instantly felt a little ashamed of himself--but he was gratified that he was the one Pepper was going to bed with that night. As they lay in bed together, Pepper's head on his shoulder and her fingers splayed across his chest, Peter wondered what she would do if she really did have to choose one of them. He'd never ask, but he supposed it was human nature to have some insecurities. Loving her was one of the best things that had ever happened in his life, and even though it came from the hurt of losing Tony, losing May, he would do it again. Because it was also human nature to be selfish. 

*****

Tony woke with a pounding headache like nothing he'd felt since...well, since Thanos lobbed a moon at his face. His cheek was in an impressive puddle of his drool, but his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton subsequent to the evacuation of the drool itself. He groaned as he rolled over, not surprised at all that he was still in his clothes and that a glass of water with two ibuprofen next to it stood on the nightstand. Pepper either showed up sometime the night before or Peter had a frightening sense of what her old habits were like. Tony vaguely remembered her being there when they got home, though. 

He swallowed the pills dry--a mistake--before guzzling the water. In the bathroom mirror, his reflection looked as old as he felt and splashing his face with water didn't help. He changed into sweats and a faded tee. The tee, he knew, was his. The sweats--honestly he didn't know if they were Peter's or Peppers, just that they were too slim. 

When he dragged himself to the kitchen, seriously considering whether hair of the dog might help, he caught Peter flipping a pancake as Pepper poured a cup of coffee. The moment seemed to stretch out. Pepper definitely checked out Peter's ass as she walked behind him, and Tony couldn't blame her. He distinctly remembered having his hands all over it while dancing. But they both seemed at ease, content. He seriously considered going back to bed, but Peter looked up to catch him standing there. 

"Wow you look…" Pepper elbowed him. "Awake. I'm making pancakes. Do you like yours big or little like the weird silver dollar ones that May always insisted tasted better because mini things always taste better? Or do you want one really big, like, skillet sized one because I can do that too. Oh, and there was bacon, but I ate the whole package as I cooked it, so I've gotta make some more."

Tony rubbed his temples. "Is he always this...not hungover?"

"Oh, I don't think I can get hangovers, sir."

Pepper handed Tony her cup of coffee. As she kissed him on the cheek she murmured, "Serves you right."

She went to get another cup of coffee for herself, and as she slid behind Peter again, Tony watched her casually run her fingers along the small of his back. Everything about Pepper had always been a study in self-assured grace. It had taken him too damn long to actually realize that about her, but this...there was a casual confidence--bordering on dominance, Tony thought--in the way she touched Peter, the way she'd kissed Tony quickly… And the thought, the realization made him instantly hard. 

There were several scenarios running through his mind, none of them involving pancakes. Pepper, another cup of coffee now in hand, had noticed his state and raised her eyebrows, a ghost of a smile on her face. But Peter was busy putting strips of bacon into the pan. Pepper slid into a chair, and Tony stepped behind her.

"Good morning," she said, smirking. 

"Could be even better…" He went to put his hand in his pocket and frowned. “Who would make sweats without pockets? That’s…” But he was cut off by a knock. 

"Oh, shit...I, uh, forgot I asked May to breakfast," Peter said over the sizzle of the bacon. "Um, I hope that's okay."

"Of course it is," Pepper said. She stood, and Tony slid into her chair. Unfortunately the thought of Peter's hot aunt did nothing to change the state of his arousal. And when Pepper returned from the door with May following, Tony confirmed that she was still as attractive as the first time he saw her. 

"Peter." May was grinning as she went straight to the kitchen and pulled him into a hug. "I still can't get over how _grown_ you look."

Pepper looked distinctly uncomfortable at that. Of course, May wouldn't know that. Tony just knew that tightness in her lips because he had seen it so many times directed at himself. And Peter looked like he was fifteen again. Tony decided he was going to enjoy this--not the way he thought but enjoyable all the same. 

*****

Pepper glanced up as she felt the air in the room change.Having both Peter and Tony there to get around F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s appointment and alert protocols for her home office was double the annoyance, but at least with Tony she could hear him coming. Peter was less apt to trip over his own feet now. 

"Just a sec," she said as she continued to type. 

Emails back and forth to the lawyers had been ongoing. There were things she needed to have Tony sign--almost like the old days. Pepper had his power of attorney, not to mention their original relationship agreement and Tony's trust. While it had been expedient to declare those who had been snapped legally dead, the United States had done at least one thing right in working up legislation making it possible to easily--in relative terms--undo that should circumstances change. Other nations hadn't followed suit. She couldn't blame them. It was so drastic already that changing it seemed a sheer impossibility. But even with the legalities in place to make Tony alive again on paper, the utter breadth of his assets made the process complicated. She finished typing and pushed back from her desk without getting up. 

"I thought you were in the labs."

"I was." Peter flopped into one of the chairs facing her. "I came back to work here because I wanted the space to try some things without distractions."

"And?" It wasn't that Pepper didn't want to see Peter. In fact, it was a nice surprise to have him there when their schedules did not often intersect anymore. But she could tell something was on his mind beyond an unplanned visit. His shoulders were tense, and the creases in his forehead were pronounced. 

"So...I really don't want to call up the footage to confirm this...because I'm pretty sure it's gone, but um, I think Tony has been moving little things in my lab. Like...the precision screwdriver kit I only use sometimes but when I need it, it's always in the same place. It was somewhere I'd totally never put it. And like...the lighting on my latest prototype suit was slightly different." He looked away and sighed. "Am I...like, is this crazy?"

Pepper pursed her lips. Tony did not have enough to do, and while he could very well do a lot of nothing in what used to be his lab, he just couldn't be an adult about how some things had changed. 

"I'm sorry," Peter went on before Pepper could answer him. "It's stupid, and I don't care if he wants to rearrange some stuff. It was his lab long before it was mine. But I just feel like...it's like he and I aren't always connecting. And I want to...I really do. He's...I mean, he's Tony Stark. Who wouldn't want to go to bed with him… It just seems like the times we have the chance to go a little further, it doesn't end up going well."

Pepper got up and went to him. She leaned against the chair as she brushed back the hair curling at his forehead. "Tony isn't always passive aggressive, but he is always a diva."

"I don't know why I thought this would be easy." He put a hand on her hips as he looked up at her. Those soft eyes told her that he wanted more than anything for her to be happy but that he also wanted Tony to be happy too. And Pepper didn't know why she'd thought it would be easy either. 

"It will be. Just give him time."

"I know… I...it's just that it's Tony...Mr. Stark, you know?"

Pepper laughed. She wanted to kiss him, to ruffle his hair, but she held herself back. It wouldn't be fair to Peter to make light of his feelings. "We both love Tony, but I've never been in awe of him." If she had, she would have never approached him with that accounting error that changed the course of her life.

He pressed his forehead into her hip before leaning there and looking up at her. Pepper thought about how long it had taken for Tony to show this sort of vulnerability to her when it had come so naturally to Peter. 

"I'm in awe of you."

"Stop…" Pepper blushed even as she smiled. "Just focus on cultivating a friendship, and let the rest happen, okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that."

"Good." She leaned down, offering a soft kiss. "I have to get back to work."

He caught her hand before she could walk away. "You sure?" The look Pepper gave him hit home because he sighed as he stood. "You're a workaholic." He pulled her into an unexpected hug, and Pepper took her time luxuriating in it. 

"You're stalling." Pepper playfully pushed him away. 

As she sat down behind her desk again, Peter paused in the doorway. He didn't say anything, just gave her a half smile. But his eyes said he loved her, he appreciated her, and despite the worry underneath that, he trusted her too. She wanted to deserve all of that even though her own creeping insecurities threatened to make her fall apart. Six years of Peter, and she didn't want to lose him. Pepper could be patient, wait for everything to fall into place like she knew it could. But she still worried that she wasn't being fair to Peter.


	15. I Don't Know what Else I Can Say

With one long conference call over and the next looming, Pepper found herself in the communal kitchen weighing whether a slightly green banana was a better option for a smoothie than no bananas that she'd found in her own kitchen. She was barefoot, wearing cutoffs in contrast to her freshly starched shirt and blazer. Because no one was going to see her legs, and if she was going to need to sit for an entire day, she was going to be comfortable. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., add bananas to the shopping list," she said as she turned to go. She'd decided enough blueberries would probably cover the green taste. Pepper hadn't expected to see May rounding the corner, carrying an empty bowl. 

"May, hi."

"Hello. I didn't know you ever used this space."

"Oh." Pepper held up the banana. "I'm working from here today, and we were out."

Even though she was smiling, Pepper felt like May was sizing her up. They had not seen much of each other, and Pepper felt an undercurrent of tension when May came to breakfast that one morning. Still, she knew how much May meant to Peter, and he'd mourned her acutely for six years. 

"Peter said you've started managing a non profit."

"Yeah, helping those who were displaced." May pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and crossed her arms. 

"I'm sure it's as much a mess as everything else." The beat of silence seemed longer than it actually was. "Peter really missed you."

May cocked her head. "Yeah, I…" She shook her head. "You know, I don't know how to do this with you because Peter is...he's still a child to me. I know," she said, putting her hands out even though she was still holding the bowl, "that he's not. But coming back to...this. And he's thriving, but he's…"

"Dating a woman old enough to be his mother." This was a conversation Pepper absolutely did not want to have. But that wasn't fair to May or to Peter. "I love him. I don't know what else I can say."

She felt like her tone was too hard. Pepper had made up her mind when she knew she was serious about Peter that she didn't need to defend that to anyone. But May wasn't there then. 

"Sure, but you were engaged to Tony, who is back."

"Wow." Pepper shifted her weight. Part of her couldn't believe May launched into this. But a bigger part of her respected that. "Let's take a step back…"

"No." May shook her head and crossed her arms again. "I'm not stepping back from this. I like you. I think I do. I definitely could. But I can't have you breaking Peter's heart like this."

Pepper smiled as she ducked her head slightly and pushed her hair behind one of her ears. She thought she could like May too, but in this moment, she knew she did. "I have no intention of breaking Peter's heart. Neither does Tony. It's fine if you don't trust me, but...trust Peter."

Before May could respond, Pepper made her afternoon conference call an excuse to get back upstairs. It occurred to her in the elevator that she had no idea whether Peter had talked to May about their relationship status. She supposed if he hadn't, he would have to soon. 

*****

Pepper rubbed at the back of her neck where the edges of her ponytail brushed it, tickling. She sat with her legs curled underneath her, enjoying a rare moment alone with no pressing task right around the corner. The magazine she flipped through was old, but that really didn't matter. She dog-eared several of the recipes. She looked up as Tony came in. He came to perch on the edge of her chair. 

"Whatcha doing, Miss Potts?" He put his hands on her shoulders and started to absently massage them. 

"Enjoying the quiet." She flipped the page she'd been reading. 

"I can be quiet."

Pepper smiled to herself. It still felt novel to have him back; it wouldn't always feel like that, she knew. But it would always feel right. "I'm sure you could try."

He continued on her shoulders, now with more purpose and after a moment of that, began to knead her neck. Pepper closed her eyes as she leaned into his touch. In moments like this, she could almost imagine that nothing had happened at all, that their wedding was coming, they'd be off to dinner or a cake tasting or whatever. She could almost imagine that Tony had taken a step back from wantonly throwing himself in the path of destruction. But, almost wasn't reality. 

"Where's Peter?"

"He mumbled something about not waiting up when I left, so…" Pepper shrugged. It wasn't an unusual conversation--at least, not when it had been Tony in Peter's place. 

"Then what do you say we," Tony said as he bent closer to her, "call it an early night?"

Pepper opened her eyes, smiling lazily up at him. "Are you propositioning me, Mr. Stark?"

"This is the part where I'd scoop you up and carry you to bed," He said, standing and offering his hand. "So, let's pretend that's happening because I'm pretty sure I haven't been hitting leg day hard enough for that right now."

They fell into bed with the ease of old lovers, but Pepper appreciated every touch as if it were the first. She found herself savoring Tony's mouth, his taste as if she might not experience it again. It was hard to feel any other way. She had to quell the frantic need to have all of him at once lest he disappear. 

Pepper found herself straddling him as he leaned against the headboard, his arms around her hips, face against her breasts. His cock filled her, and she rocked against it, greedy and desperate. It had been too long. Too long. 

Pepper could tell Tony was close from the change in his breathing, the way his fingers tightened at her hips. She ran her fingers through his head and then took his face in her hands, her hips stilling as she made him look up at her. 

"Don't you dare do that to me again." She felt her own tears, hot as they slid down her cheeks. "No more surprises."

He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away the tears. "I think six years of being a pile of dust is enough of a deterrent." 

*****

The music blared. It was Peter's playlist, and while Tony didn't love everything, he appreciated the choices. And it made him feel like he was getting to know six years of Peter better. He shifted underneath the car. That was one thing Peter hadn't touched, so Tony found his garage exactly as he left it. He rolled out from under the coupe on the creeper. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the Hulk--why was he wearing glasses--standing over him, smiling. 

"How's it going, Stark?"

Tony blinked. "I'm sorry, but when did the Big Guy start speaking in sentences instead of grunts?"

"Yeah, it's good to see you too."

Tony took Hulk's--Bruce's...he really had no idea--outstretched hand to stand. Then he took a step back to regard his friend. The fascinating thing was that it wasn't just the Hulk standing in front of him. Tony could actually see Bruce too. 

"Wow, a shirt and everything."

"Welcome to the future, my friend."

Tony stepped back and gave him another good look. It was the Hulk, but he could clearly see Bruce. And he had never seen either one of them this relaxed. 

"Damn...you've got to tell me how you did this. I mean, I suspect that's not why you're here, but I'm still going to make you take me through it step by step."

"For sure."

Tony took a rag and wiped most of the grease from his hands. "Seriously, it's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too. Sorry I couldn't stay around after you got back. It was crazy times. But Nat had a mission that needed my expertise, so...here I am. Thought I'd come back and say hello."

"Nat running the Avengers." It didn't surprise him. Tony sauntered to the fridge and pulled out two beers, uncapping them and offering one to Bruce. It was comically tiny in his hand. 

"Jealous?"

"Maybe." Tony took a swig. He hadn't thought about it actually. He'd been avoiding it, though he realized that he wasn't avoiding it consciously. "World's a different place. Seems like she had a hand in holding it all together."

Bruce shook his head--Tony felt like thinking of him as _Bruce_ didn't seem quite right--and drained the beer in one sip. He waved his hand declining another when Tony offered. "To be fair, she's doing a better job than you and Cap did together."

"Ouch. Yeah, that hurt. That wounded me, Professor Hulk. I thought you were my friend." He blew a long breath out of his nose and stared at the ceiling. Cap. That was one thing he was actively avoiding. "She was made for this. Probably always should have been Nat."

"Everything okay, Tony?"

Tony pulled a stool over with his foot and sat down heavily. "It's a different world." He fiddled with the neck of his bottle. "Just this Pepper and Peter thing...God, what a trip." he shook his head, took another swig. "That woman is a rock--best thing that ever happened to me. And Peter. Peter, Peter's...not a kid anymore. Who could blame Pepper? He was already so...so _good_ , and she's made him…" Tony ran his hand over his chin, searching for the words. Pepper's influence on Peter was obvious, but it wasn't that she made him what she wanted. It was that she brought out his potential, the way she had with Tony too. 

"Wait, wait…" Bruce shook his head. "Pepper and Peter…? Is that a thing?"

"Dude…" He shouldn't have been surprised. Bruce threw himself into his work. He was primed for science, for anything that could go wrong. But he was so socially blind that he couldn't see what was right in front of him. "You worked with him for like...over a year."

"Tony, it was time travel. We were trying to save the world… I mean, I saw something in the _Post_ , but I just thought it was the usual trash."

"You are an absolute trip." He laughed humorlessly. "I'd do anything for Pepper--anything. And it's not even that. I love that kid. I _want_ that kid. It's just not," he paused to snap, "clicking."

"Are you talking about a threesome, because…"

"I believe the correct term is 'throuple,' Professor Hulk. Join the twenty-first century. What's complicated about three consenting adults--well, one barely an adult--engaging in a mutually beneficial and enjoyable relationship? Which, for the record, was Pepper's idea," Tony added, mirthlessly.

"No." Bruce shook his head. "That's not what I mean. Love who you want, Tony. I just want everybody to be happy. We got it all back, now we gotta keep what we found, make it all better. So, whatever hangups you've got about making it work…" he shrugged his massive shoulders. "Get past them."

"I'm sorry, did you just…" Tony cocked his head. He hadn't exactly expected Bruce to dole out relationship advice, but this newfound zen was disconcerting.

"Well, is this what you want? You're not just doing it for Pepper?" Tony didn't answer, but he didn't think he had to. He and Bruce had been friends for a long time. They could work together in a lab, even without having seen each other for months or years, and do it seamlessly. This wasn't science, but maybe Bruce wasn't as clueless as he had been before. "Then," Bruce said as he put his hand on Tony's shoulder, "get out of your head. Maybe focus on Peter and Pepper for a change."

"You just called me selfish, and I resent that. But...I'm gonna take it under advisement."

"I definitely think you should."

"I don't know what I think of this new...profoundly at peace you."

"Get used to it, pal."

Tony cocked his head, thinking. If Bruce and the Hulk could get their shit together, there was absolutely no excuse for anyone else. And it was true--he did like the new Banner. If it meant a friendship that actually got a chance to thrive, Tony would take it. And if he admitted it to himself, friendship was one of the things he needed now. 

"Come on. Let's get a keg, do some science, blow some shit up."

"As long as we don't inadvertently set the planet on fire, right on." Banner grinned. And Tony got that feeling in his chest--the one that told him that nothing would be exactly like old times again, but even so, this could still be good. 

*****

The basketball court on one of the roof terraces had been Peter's idea, wholeheartedly endorsed by Rhodey, who was actually a good player. Peter's heightened reflexes and strength made up for a lot. But mostly, he just enjoyed being outside, doing something that had no consequences. There had been times in the past few years where he'd just come out to dribble and shoot by himself only to sit on the edge and zone out. He guessed it was like a form of meditation. 

"Rhodey teach you to shoot like that?" Tony called. 

When he looked over his shoulder, Tony was standing there, looking over his sunglasses, but he also looked like he was dressed to shoot. Peter wasn't sure he'd ever seen his mentor in a fitted singlet, but he now knew he'd been missing out. Tony's arms were sculpted but not huge. Peter _had_ seen him in short sleeved tees, and he realized that even though Tony had lost some muscle tone since his injury, he still looked _good_. 

"Shirts versus skins?" Tony asked, sauntering over. "I'm the shirt."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "You trying to get me to take off my shirt, Mr. Stark?"

"I believe that is the point of 'skins,' yes."

Peter tugged off his shirt and tossed it to the side of the court. It was hotter than usual, and the air felt good on his sweat-damp skin. Tony was still looking over his glasses. 

"Let's see what you've got."

Picking up the ball, Peter cocked his head. "You...know I've got actual super powers, right?"

"And yet," Tony said, knocking the ball out of Peter's hands and dribbling toward the basket, "you still trip over your own feet."

Peter shook his head, grinning, as Tony sank a shot, nothing but net. "Oh, ok, I see how it's going to be."

"Me ahead, you at zero?"

They traded baskets with a healthy disregard for foul rules--not that Peter minded their hips bumping, his chest on Tony's back. Even in the heat, or perhaps because of it, the proximity to Tony was dizzying. They matched each other well for a little while, at least, but Peter climbed ahead as Tony began to tire. With Peter three shots ahead, Tony made use of the nanocasing on his chest, his suit's boots forming to lift him to make a shot. Peter shot a web to catch the ball before it fell through the basket and pulled it back to himself. 

"Uh, that's cheating."

"Actually, I'd call it compensation for your _super powers_ , and I'm not sure why I didn't think of it earlier."

"I was going easy on you, but…" Peter began to dribble, and their play got even more aggressive, Tony using his entire body more forcefully along with aspects of his suit. 

They wound up closer to the building than the goal, and by literally tripping Peter, Tony was able to gain enough leverage to shove him against the wall. The ball bounced and finally rolled to the other side of the court. Their faces were inches apart, and even though Peter could have easily gotten away from Tony, he stayed there, Tony's hands pinning his wrists back and hips pressed hard against his own. 

"I win," Tony whispered.

Peter swallowed. This was a moment, and he recognized that. And with that recognition came the knowledge that he need to...not fuck it up. 

"So…" he swallowed, breath jagged. "Guess you get the prize."

"Nicely delivered, Mr. Parker. I…"

Peter cut him off with a kiss. He could listen to Tony talk all day--after everything, he wanted to. But right now, he just _wanted_ Tony. His mouth, his body, all of him. And Tony's hands were on him, on his hips, on his chest. And Peter was pulling him closer. He forgot where he was; he didn't care.

"Downstairs," Tony mumbled. 

"Huh?" Peter heard the word without comprehending, but he wanted more; he kissed Tony harder, but Tony pushed him away. 

"You, me...downstairs." Peter blinked hard as Tony pulled him closer by the shorts, kissed him again. "I'm not fucking you the first time on a basketball court. Elevator."

Peter pulled away, licked his lips. "Too slow."

As he took hold of Tony's waist, his web shooter responded, growing around his wrist. The web landed and stuck high above them, and Peter bent his knees, acominating for the extra weight as he launched them both into the air, swinging around the side of the building. Peter laughed with delight at Tony's surprised yelp, but he had him securely. 

Peter rappelled down until he reached the bedroom window, and he carefully slid the pane he'd specifically outfitted for this purpose aside. He helped Tony climb in and climbed in after, replacing the window. Then he felt himself being pulled onto the bed, and suddenly, Tony was on top of him. 

"Don't get me wrong, I like a man who could carry me over the threshold. But don't ever do that again without warning me."

"I'll take it under advisement."

"You," Tony said each word between kisses, "have gotten downright pert in my absence, and I…"

"Tony," Peter said, grabbing Tony's face to pull him into a kiss. When it broke, he whispered, "you talk too much." He pulled at Tony's shirt, managing to get it off. The scars on Tony's chest were faded, well worn in, but they stood out to Peter as a testament of what Tony went through. He ran his fingers over them as Tony kissed his neck.

"Don't get sentimental," Tony whispered gruffly before biting Peter's earlobe.

Sentimental was the last thing Peter was going to get. He shimmied out of his own shorts and boxer briefs, then he went for Tony's. Peter could have flipped them over. He could have done any number of things, but he wasn't sure what move to make. Carrying Tony into the bedroom had been--he wasn't even sure if it had been a misstep or not. The fact was, Peter had gotten used to Peppers easy guidance, her confidence. No...he hadn't gotten used to it, he _depended_ on it. He loved it. 

There was nothing quiet about Tony, about the way he flirted, the way he sulked. Everything he did had flair. He was sucking at the tender spot above Peter's collarbone at the same time as he cupped Peter's balls in his palm. It was as if Tony was trying to overwhelm Peter's senses by dividing them, and it was working. 

Peter started to squirm, shifting under Tony's touch. Tony's mouth. Tony's hands. His own cock, hard and dripping. Peter pulled at Tony's hips. As they both shifted, his chin bumped Tony's head. Embarrassment flooded his mind, and Tony's smirk did nothing to calm that. 

"Someone's eager." Still cupping Peter's balls, he ran his free hand down Peter's chest to grip the shaft of his cock. "I don't know about you, Kid, but it's been a while since I've done this. Either way, we're going to need some lube."

"Lube...right...uh…"

Peter scrambled up, falling off the end of the bed but catching himself. He knew Pepper had some because he could feel the difference when she used it--not that that was a bad thing. He pulled out the top drawer of her nightstand, feeling slightly guilty. Everything inside of it was neatly laid out--reading glasses, a tube of the chapstick she liked to use before bed, a travel sized package of makeup wipes, but no lube. 

"I can't…" Peter's cheeks were flaming as he looked up at Tony. He tried not to let his own disappointment show. "I don't know where Pepper keeps it."

Tony cocked his head. Then he smirked. Then that smirk turned into a full, bright smile. He ran one hand through Peter's hair, then both, pulling Peter to his forehead. "You are...mmm so, so…" He kissed Peter again. "Delicious."

Then Tony pulled away, and Peter watched him walk into the bathroom. He could hear rummaging in what seemed like Pepper's makeup drawer--she was not going to be happy about that--and when he came out, he was holding a black tube. Peter squinted. He thought it was the stuff Pepper put on at some point while applying makeup, but he hadn't ever paid that much attention. 

"Pepper is going to kill me for this," Tony said as she squeezed a healthy amount into his palm. 

Peter watched, wide eyed and, he realized, holding his breath as Tony slicked it over his cock. And then Tony was pushing him back, whispering for Peter to breathe. Peter could feel the head of Tony's cock gently circling his anus. The lube-- _primer_ , of course the word came to him at that moment-- felt like something between silk and liquid. 

"Relax," Tony said. 

Peter gripped the coverlet in his hands as Tony slowly began to push into him. It was going to be mind-blowing. It was going to be amazing. It was… Peter opened his eyes--he hadn't realized he'd been squeezing them closed. 

"Is it...supposed to, um, hurt...a lot."

Tony stopped immediately. His brow was furrowed as he looked down at Peter. "Has Pepper not...have you…" He carefully pulled away and got up, starting to pace. "You're a virgin. How was I supposed to know you're a virgin? Of course you have no idea how to relax…"

"I can relax. Look at me...totally relaxed." When in fact he was sitting cross-legged now, suppressing his own urge to fidget or pace. He jerked his head up when he heard the door open. Tony stopped, hands on his hips. And Pepper walked in, taking in the entire scene as if it were nothing unusual. Her eyes settled on the tube of primer Tony had tossed aside, and she sighed. 

"Tony, how many times have I asked you not to use my primer as lube?" She calmly took off her blazer and walked into the closet to hang it. 

Peter could see inside the partially open door as she slipped off her skirt, tossing it into the dry cleaning bin and began to unbutton her blouse. He was one hundred percent about to regain his erection--he just realized he'd gone soft--watching Pepper carefully roll down her pantyhose. But Tony--not that his ass wasn't a great sight--stepped in his view. 

"You didn't tell me you hadn't pegged him."

"You never asked."

The implications of the exchange hit Peter and he stood. Over Tony's shoulder he saw she'd pulled on yoga pants and had taken off her bra, now pulling a sports bra over her head. 

"I didn't think I needed to," Tony said, tone indicating that it should have been obvious, "as it was a regular feature in our sex lives for...quite a while."

Pepper sat on a small stool to pull on socks, but she glanced up at both of them. "Not in the few years before you got on that spaceship."

"Wait…" Peter was shaking his head, still trying to wrap his mind around Pepper Potts pegging Tony Stark, in general, and also that it was not something he'd known about at all. "You never even…"

Pepper pulled on her second sock and slipped into her laceless running shoes. "You didn't ask either."

Pepper finally stood, she shouldered past both of them as she put her hair in a ponytail. It was one of Peter's favorite looks--just so casual, sporty. He was hard again, which made him more aware that he was naked. And Peter wasn't sure if it made him feel better that Tony also had an erection as they both followed Pepper out of the closet and bedroom. 

"Pep, Jesus Christ, I would have...I don't know...done things differently…"

"What, you would have taken your time and put a little more effort into foreplay?" She turned around quickly and Peter bumped into Tony when he stopped short. He muttered his apology, but Pepper was already talking over him. "Imagine that."

"Wow, okay...I know we'd had a bit of a...lull before...everything, but have you seriously been stewing on that for six, seven years?"

"Um, are you guys fighting because I would really rather…"

"Stop talking, Kid," Tony said, turning to physically put a finger on Peter's lips.

"Don't be dramatic, Tony. I'm only pointing out something you could stand to work on."

At this point, Peter thought he'd lose any semblance of desire, but watching Tony and Pepper fight--was this even fighting because he wasn't entirely sure--was as hot as it was concerning. He hadn't really thought about sex with Tony hurting. It made sense. It was hard to relax when your mentor, your girlfriend's fiance, and the guy you'd had a, probably, inappropriate crush on since you'd learned what to do with your dick was about to fuck you. And while losing his virginity to Pepper Potts had been the greatest moment of his life, Peter hadn't really thought about practically losing it again to Tony. But more importantly, the thought of Pepper with a strap on _actually_ pegging Tony was insane. He briefly felt like an idiot for never imagining it in some of his elaborate teenage fantasies. But his fantasies had also never taken him to being naked in the living room while his girlfriend and, he guessed, boyfriend not quite argued with each other. 

"Miss Potts, I am wounded that you would suggest I could be anything other than…"

Pepper gave Tony a knowing look--a look Peter had also been the recipient of--as she patted his cheek. "A complete narcissist?" 

He covered her hand with his. "You always know the right things to say."

"Can we go back to the pegging thing?" Peter asked. 

"You two can go back to whatever you'd like. I'm going to the gym."

"Or you could come back to the bedroom," Tony said. It sounded like a good idea to Peter, but Pepper was giving them both _that_ look. "You could...help me focus. Guide us both to...figuring it out

"You two need to figure out your shit yourselves so that the three of us can enjoy what we could have. I'm not your mother, Tony; or yours, Peter. And my patience isn't infinite." At this, she smirked, and Peter knew that everything would be okay. But he was more eager than ever to figure things out because it seemed like Pepper had even more things in store.

They both watched her leave, her ponytail swinging. Once they were alone, Peter turned to Tony. 

"Uh, what now?"

"Now?" Tony lapped Peter on the back and turned him to the bedroom. "Now we're going to jack each other off and maybe try again tomorrow."


	16. We Should Help With That

Nat was already on a treadmill when Pepper got to the gym. She just nodded as she got on the next one over and had F.R.I.D.A.Y. run one of her usual programs. 

"When'd you get back?"

"Late last night. Things to do."

Pepper nodded, eyes forward. "Laura and the kids?"

"Making it. You know how it is." Pepper could hear from the beats of Nat's feet that she was starting a cooldown, whereas Pepper was speeding up before the program called for it. "Tony?"

"I'd say he's adjusting well enough." She was practically sprinting. 

"Oh yeah? Then what's wrong?"

Pepper hated that Nat could read her so plainly. Then again, she hadn't prepared herself to run into anyone. Part of the reason she liked the gym at this time of day was because everyone else was busy. "Sometimes I feel like I'm a glorified babysitter."

"Tony would probably go for that…"

Pepper couldn't help but chuckle. "And sometimes I wonder if this was a good idea, if I can actually keep up."

"You can keep up," Nat said, and Pepper glanced her way. "I know what your appetites look like."

*****

If he was truthful about it, Tony hadn't been down to the actual R&D labs in the New York office in...years. He preferred his own lab, and he also preferred working alone, unless he'd otherwise chosen someone to be there with him for a particular reason. But it didn't surprise him to see Peter there, grinning at something that someone else said, wearing safety goggles--and damned if he didn't look endearing and also somehow fuckable in them--and rendering a complex 3D model with technology Tony had built from the ground up. 

When he came in--because Tony was finally alive again and Happy had thusly given him his credentials back--Tony expected a hush to fall. That was what he was used to. That was not, in fact, what happened. No one noticed him at all until Peter caught his eye. 

"Wow, Mr. Stark...Tony, you're here."

"Indeed I am. Carry on, everyone."

"He's kidding guys." Peter laughed, sounding nervous to Tony's ears. "It's cool."

Peter took off the safety glasses and ushered Tony over to a small workstation that Tony could only guess he'd carved out as his own when he was there. 

"Love what you've done with the place."

"Have you ever even...been down here?"

Tony glanced around, not sure he actually had seen this iteration. Then he sat on Peter's desk and swung his legs as he clapped his hands together. "So, I was hoping you'd show me the modifications you made to the arc reactors. Pepper says you've got them practically powering whole countries now."

Seeing Peter blush made Tony feel more at ease, more in control. Because it made Peter look more boyish. It made him forget that so much time had passed in the blink of an eye. And in truth, Tony didn't need to see the reactors. He'd look through the files, seen Peter's modification, had gone through all the test videos. It was impressive. But that was to be expected. The videos also gave him a chance to see Peter grow up, to really see him come into his own.

"More like regions, but…" He shrugged and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "So, do you wanna see it?"

"Yeah, pull up the specs."

Peter grinned, boyish, excited, and Tony felt a flush of pleasure. The things they could do in the lab together--and those were only the actual science and mechanics Tony was thinking about. "I've got a better idea."

The better idea was waiting on the helicopter pad on top of the building. When Tony realized it was Peter who would be flying, he supposed sitting next to him was the kind of leap of faith he needed to take to make this work. As he watched the city go by underneath them, he said over the comm, "I'm betting this is in no way Pepper Potts sanctioned."

"She totally hates this. She was only on board with me getting my license when I promised I'd find a way to make them more fuel efficient and also to reduce the noise pollution."

"Smart."

"Her or me?"

"Always her. But in this case, you."

They touched down at the station without incident, and Tony couldn't really take his eyes off of Peter. Seeing him sure of himself, in his element--outside of being superhuman--was just as sexy as seeing him get tongue tied about his feelings. Tony was absolutely ready to take him into a supply closet and make damn sure he was relaxed when F.R.I.D.A.Y. threw up an alert on his glasses. 

"Boss, I'm offline in the suite back home."

Tony stopped in his tracks, put his hand on Peter's chest to hold him back too. "What's the situation, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Tony glanced at Peter and said quickly, "Something up at the compound."

"Can't say. I'm locked out."

"Under whose authorization?"

"Miss Potts."

"Karen?" Peter asked. Tony wasn't sure if he was talking to him or actually to Karen. Which, he had to hand it to the kid, he'd made that suit AI rival F.R.I.D.A.Y. It was a good thing the girls got along.

"I've also been taken offline, Peter."

Tony set his jaw. His heart was pounding, but he tried to stay calm as he turned on his heel and started walking to the exit. "We've got a helipad at the compound, right?"

"Yep." Peter's jaw was clenched tightly, and he wasn't trying to hide his worry either. Tony had to start a light jog to keep up with him. 

This was the thing Tony dreaded. This was what he had tried and tried again to work to change. He couldn't make Pepper less of a public figure. He'd given her his company. It was the best decision he'd ever made aside from getting together with her. But he couldn't lock out the danger of his life. He knew he'd failed, but that didn't mean he wouldn't keep trying. 

*****

The living room was dim, windows tinted against the midday sun. Pepper's time was always so regimented--little blocks that she could rearrange if necessary but always chunks devoted to concrete necessities. She rarely found herself at loose ends. No. She never found herself that way. She'd made this open space without giving herself time to question the decision. It still pulled at her conscience that she had been watching Peter work in the lab in the first place. That she actually had a recording of their first time, that fraught night, seemed more than illicit. 

It wasn't because she felt the weight of time heavily--the time Tony had missed, the time she did not have with Peter now, the time that had changed her. It didn't bother Pepper that she wasn't young anymore. She welcomed middle age and the fucks it allowed her not to give. But the nagging worry that it wasn't fair to Peter always sat somewhere deep in her mind. 

Maybe that's why she'd kept it. F.R.I.D.A.Y. wiped lab footage that wasn't meant for archival after a predetermined period, but Pepper had stopped her. She meant to do it herself later, but she didn't. She couldn't. _Wouldn't_. Sometimes she watched without sound, reveling in the quiet intensity. Other times, she closed her eyes and listened. Today, she watched, listened. The grief fueled intensity was more than a memory.

Pepper was as wet as the sight of Peter's tear-stained cheeks. She pressed her hand down the front of her trousers, sucking in breath as her fingers pressed between her legs. Pepper watched her own wan face letting go, and she wondered how she could continue this way, how she could be what they both needed when she couldn't control the way time and age were changing her. And yet, Peter was there on the screen in front of her, moaning in pleasure that was raw and real. And that had only blossomed into something deeper in the years since.

Tony watched. Peter watched. He had no idea that there was a video, that it was something Pepper would keep and actually watch. He'd seen her touch herself before, but there were tears running down her cheeks now. When he started forward, Tony put his palm against Peter's chest, stopping him. 

Of course Peter replayed that night in his mind, but this was the first time he could see what Pepper's face had looked like. That look of abandon--he knew it well now. But he watched himself lift her onto the table, cringing at his own clumsiness in pushing into her. And he watched a weight lift, if only a little, as she let something go. 

And he had been so young. Tony wondered if he had ever been that young, if Pepper had ever been that young. But there was Peter with the weight of his grief and the raging hormones he couldn't control pushing him on. Tony couldn't help the jealousy that welled up in him, squeezing his chest. Because he loved Pepper. He clung to that love because it saved him so many times. But it wasn't just that. He watched her tossing her hair back, sweat stickling little pieces of it to her forehead as she cried out, and he was jealous that Peter could do that to her. He couldn't remember the last time she'd let go so completely, the last time he'd noticed or tried to make it happen. And he was jealous that she was the one with her legs wrapped around Peter, her fingers curled in his hair. 

He looked at Peter, and as if Peter understood his unspoken question, he nodded. Yes, this was the first time. In Tony's lab, flanked by his suits, his things. His simultaneous desires to throw something and to fuck something were overwhelming enough that Tony just watched, his palm still on Peter's chest. He saw Pepper close her eyes as the playback looped around to what he assumed was the beginning. Her forehead creased. 

She was so close. Her body was on the edge of orgasm but hung there, not cooperating. Tears were drying on her cheeks. The frustrations that had brought her there would remain, but she wanted the momentary blankness of pure pleasure. But her body--she pushed it, asked it to go beyond its capabilities sometimes, but she took care of it too--seemed dry and tired and finished. Pepper let out a frustrated cry. 

Peter and Tony went to her wordlessly. Peter, only by virtue of his enhanced abilities, caught her fist before it connected with Tony's face. 

"How long have you been there?" Pepper was not yelling, but her voice was raised just enough that both Peter and Tony knew she was on a knife's edge. 

Peter gently unfolded her fist and kissed her fingers. If his mouth was busy, he wasn't going to be the one who had to explain why they were watching her masturbate, to video footage he didn't know she had, of the first time they had sex. 

"You turned off the guard dogs, honey," Peter was very sure she was going to punch him again, but she let Tony sit next to her and wrap his arm around her shoulders. "And being in the line of work we're in, that got us a little worried."

Pepper sighed softly as she looked from one to the other. They had come together, and that mattered. She wrapped her fingers around Peter's. "I'm sorry. I should have deleted it."

"I...I mean, we could have watched it...together?" Peter blinked. His brain caught up from a nearly seven year lag, and he felt like a huge idiot who was now blushing as an image of him awkwardly fucking his super hot girlfriend hung in still life. 

"This is the part where he realizes you were watching him," Tony whispered. His smirk was wicked.

"I thought you realized." Now Pepper was blushing, and Tony revelled in seeing them both wide-eyed and blushing.

"I...thought...I mean...maybe you just...came to the lab sometimes to…" Peter ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah."

Tony clapped his hands together in delight. How had he gotten so lucky as to come by both of these two absolutely perfect specimens of humanity? He hadn't, really. It was all Pepper. But right now, all jealousy was forgotten in favor of those burning cheeks and how he wanted to make them both blush even more. 

"Oh, she's a dirty girl, Peter."

"Tony!"

"Private viewings of secret footage for your own little afternoon delight…"

"I'd choose your next words very carefully or stop talking." The edge in Pepper's voice was just what he wanted. And Peter's eyes widening to the point of becoming comical was a bonus. 

"You want me to shut up?" He leaned back, mock affronted. 

"Please."

"Maybe you should…" Tony began before Pepper rolled her eyes. 

"Don't you dare tell me I should make you." 

Pepper's lips were twitching the way they did when she was trying not to smile. Peter knew that look. It always made him want to kiss her. It always made him grin first. But now, he was engrossed in how easily she and Tony fell into what seemed like well-worn, well-loved banter. He saw Tony's eyes, dark, playful and entirely focused on Pepper. And it made Peter's breath catch in his throat. 

Tony leaned his head against Pepper's shoulder so he could look up into her eyes. "But you're so good at it. You're good at everything."

Pepper pulled away from both of them and stood, making the screen disappear with a swipe of her hand. It was then that Tony knew he'd miscalculated, that he'd pushed in too far with his ego. He could tell from the tension in her shoulders. When he glanced at Peter, he knew that Peter knew too. He'd misread her frustration. Peter had not been able to redirect him. And it was Pepper, always Pepper who bore the burden of holding things together when Tony wouldn't, didn't, and couldn't. 

"Dude," Peter hissed. His eyes said _You're an idiot,_ which Tony took issue with even though it was true. 

But Peter was already standing and gently pulling Pepper into his arms. Tony watched, fighting jealousy back, finding it easier than before. Peter's forehead creased with worry, dismay. He ran his thumb over Pepper's cheekbone.

"You didn't finish," Peter said softly. He looked apologetic. He looked soft, small. Tony felt heat rising at his core because this genuine dismay was out of a desire to see Pepper happy, to make her happy. 

"Peter, it's…"

Tony stood, nodding at Peter. He wrapped his arms around Pepper from behind, kissing the top of her head when she was firmly between them. "He's right. We should help with that."

They felt her body relax into them both, letting them hold her. Peter was ready to do anything to give her the release he knew she wanted. Before he kissed her, his eyes locked with Tony's, and he knew they were together. Peter kissed her, feeling her soft lips, the heat of her tongue. He could smell the scent of Tony's shampoo as Tony began to kiss her neck. 

They left a trail of Pepper's clothes all the way to the bedroom. The new bed didn't seem quite as big with all three of them in it--Pepper in the middle, her hair splayed across the pillows while Tony and Peter settled on either side of her. It wasn't perfect. Peter and Tony bumped heads, got in each other's way, but that meant nothing next to focusing on Pepper. 

Tony watched as Peter kissed the tender spots behind her knees, making Pepper shiver and flush. He was impressed. It had taken him too long to really realize how much she loved that. He flicked the spot behind her ear with his tongue then blew his breath over it. She responded, turning into him, her lips meeting his.

Pepper wrapped one arm around Tony and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Peter kissed her inner thighs. He pressed his face to her cunt, breathing her scent before licking with enthusiasm over delicacy. He used his face, his nose. She arched into him, into Tony's touch as he kissed down to her breasts, cupping them, rolling her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. 

When Peter paused, drawing in a long breath, Tony took his place. He could taste Pepper on Peter's tongue, and it only made him hungrier for them both. He closed his eyes, felt Pepper's clit underneath his tongue, and he finally felt like he was home. 

That moment of pure pleasure, of mind-clearing nothingness rolled over Pepper slowly. She gave herself to it, to the feeling of Tony's mouth, of Peter's hands on her breasts. She arched her back, moaned. She let herself fall back into the warmth of afterglow. 

*****

Peter found Tony sitting out on the balcony with a glass of scotch in his hand. He had his elbows on his knees as he looked out over the compound. Peter dropped into the chair beside him, watched the sunset for a while. 

"Pepper's in the shower. She said we should figure out dinner."

"Mm." Tony didn't even look at him. In fact, Peter wasn't even sure Tony heard him. But he felt a tension that he wasn't sure was there before he sat down.

Finally, Peter turned to him. He took Tony's glass and took a long swig. Scotch was not his favorite. He didn't know why he did it--liquid courage or something. 

"Dude, what is up with you? Please talk to me here."

"Huh?" Tony took the glass back, looked into it, shrugged, and drained the rest. "Sorry. Just thinking."

"If you're not into this, you need to tell me. You need to tell Pepper because she wants this. She's putting everything into this to make it work...and so am I." When Tony was silent, Peter got to his feet. "Is it...I mean, do you want to marry her? Is that what you need because whatever. If she wants it, fine..if it makes you both happy. I love her...I don't need that, but if it's whatever is holding you back... Just don't draw this out if you're not into it. I know it's what she wants, but I want it too. And if you don't…" He clenched his jaw and had to force himself to relax. "I'll fight for her, okay?"

Tony began to laugh, softly at first but enough that Peter wanted to punch him. Soon, though, Peter was sitting down again and laughing too. He couldn't help it. There was no menace, no anger in it, and it was infectious. 

"You're good for her. Sure, I'm jealous." This time, Tony stood. He leaned against the balcony before turning back to Peter. "Why wouldn't I be? Younger man--handsome, strong, almost as smart as I am--and she takes off her ring. But you…" He pointed at Peter first then tapped him on the chest. "You pretty much risked everything with her to invent a time machine to bring me back. That takes balls." He sighed as he sat down again. "And let's face it. You've always had a huge crush on me."

Peter felt his cheeks burning, but he couldn't smile any wider as he ducked his head. "Dude, shut up."

*****

Tony rummaged around in the lounge for a book he could have sworn he left there. The problem was that he wasn't sure if it had been two days or seven years before. The latter option was starting to look more likely though because it was nowhere to be seen. He'd finally decided to give up when he felt like he wasn't alone anymore. 

It was inevitable that Tony and Steve would run into each other. There was a statistical likelihood that it should have happened before that very moment. Tony didn't attempt to calculate it--he could but didn't. What surprised him, though, was the instant rush of anger he felt flood his mind. Because Tony was still angry, and looking at Steve's puppy dog eyes only made it worse. 

"Tony." Steve put his hands in his pockets. "It's good to see you. You look good."

"Cap."

"Listen." Steve shifted. He took his hands out of his pockets and raised them, opening up his posture. It was clearly going to be a speech, a lecture--some kind of pronouncement. Tony had seen that enough. "A lot has happened…"

"Yeah." Tony scratched behind his ear. "Yeah, that's what I hear."

Now, along with the puppy dog eyes came the slightly drooping, pleading, all-American sad and sorry face. Tony wanted to punch it. Repeatedly. Instead he crossed his arms. 

"I've had a lot of time to face old ghosts, to move on, get past anger and regret. So, I hope we can leave the past in the past."

"Yeah, except for one problem. Your past, was literally, like, yesterday for me, and all I can think about is how I went across space to fight a California Raisin on steroids and you weren't there."

"I was here, Tony. I lost to him too." That was when Tony saw the hurt, the ghost of old wounds. And he wondered what it was like for those wounds to be partially healed. Most nights, he still dreamt about it. About that glove almost coming off. And he woke up with his heart in his throat thinking he'd lost it all again. 

"I'm not there yet, Cap. I'm just...not there."

Cap put his hands on his hips and gave that short, military nod. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere, so...take all the time you need."

As Tony walked out of the room, it almost seemed like Cap thought better of clasping his shoulder. And that would have made Tony explode. This man wasn't his big brother and right now, not even Tony's friend. Captain America was the shadow he'd lived his childhood in, and now, now he couldn't see any light for his own rage.


	17. Resplendent

Peter wrapped his arms around Pepper from behind and took in the view of the city from her office windows. It was hard to believe that the streets below had ever been silent, near empty. She leaned into him but remained facing forward, looking down. 

"I thought you'd be home by now."

Peter shook his head. "I had to go over some of the details of the Europe trip--my assistant's orders."

Pepper chuckled and finally turned into him, her lips grazing his for a quick kiss. She looked tired, but Peter was not about to point that out. "It''ll end up changing again in the next couple of weeks anyway. He should know that."

"I know, but Tony wants to meet up on the Venice leg. He's been tinkering with some ideas for keeping the city from sinking."

"Has he? I think he just wants an excuse to go to Venice with you."

Peter grinned. "Maybe I just want an excuse to go to Venice with him. You could come too you know…" On this, he was hopeful. It wasn't just that Venice was romantic and different. It was that when Pepper was there, things always went well with Tony. They were way more in sync than when it was just the two of them. 

She looked so wistful in that moment that Peter thought she would completely clear her schedule. But Pepper’s eyes focused, and she smiled apologetically. “I wish I could.”

She stepped away from him and went back to her desk, sinking into the chair. Peter sat on the edge and pulled his knees up. 

“Hey, Pep…”

Before he could get another word out, she raised her eyebrows. “You’re about to ask for something.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. Pepper always knew. “Yeah, but hear me out.” Peter took a deep breath, knowing that he had to just get this out before he lost his nerve. “I know you're not my mother—I mean, I’m super glad you’re not. And…” He put out his hand as if to stop her from interrupting him when he saw her draw in a breath. “I can’t get the image of you pegging Tony out of my head. I can’t...it’s...wow. And I don’t know what it is, but he and I… I want him. I think, no, I know he wants me. But we need help. It’s like...we’re both so in our heads, that it’s such a big deal… and I mean, if I’m just giving him a handy or whatever it’s fine, but…” he put his face in his hands and scrubbed his skin as if that would make the words somehow assemble themselves correctly. “Can you please, please help us fuck?”

A slow, sly smile spread across Pepper's face. It was the kind of look that made Peter's stomach drop in a good way--a very good way. She looked seductive as hell, mischievous, as she stood. In response to Pepper moving close to him, Peter dropped his legs so she could step between them. She put her palms flat on his chest, got close so that their noses almost touched. If she had a dick, he would have wanted it inside of him.

"You want me to help you fuck?" she murmured, eyes staring directly into his. 

Peter swallowed. "Please." He was almost sure she was going to start by fucking him right then and there--which would have been an absolute delight. But Pepper was serious about her office space in actual Stark Industries buildings. Peter wasn't surprised when she pulled away. 

"Get your stuff," she said as she started packing her laptop up to head out. "We're going shopping."

"Shopping?" Peter cocked his head. But Pepper was already walking briskly to the door, leaving him scrambling to follow. 

*****

Peter took Pepper's hand as they walked in the night air. Pepper liked this--leaving the car and driver behind, just being together when the city didn't seem like an organism struggling to survive such a loss anymore. She didn't have any illusions about not being spotted, but Pepper didn't exactly care either. 

"There are," Peter began, lowering his voice as he continued, "sex shops in Park Slope?"

"I don't know why you sound so surprised." He shot her a quick look that said she absolutely did, and Pepper laughed

Pepper appreciated an upscale shopping experience, and while this market had always had a range of shops, she'd come to appreciate the curated experience offered by twenty-first century boutiques. The space was bright and modern while still being warm, and when they walked in the clerk smiled. 

"It's a pleasure to see you again. Is there anything special I can help you with today?"

"Just browsing." Pepper smiled politely in return. She also appreciated a balanced amount of attentiveness--no different from Barneys or Bloomingdales. Peter trailed along behind her as she made her way through the displays. 

"This is...fancy," he whispered. 

"What were you expecting?" Pepper smirked as she glanced at him over her shoulder. She knew she probably shouldn't let on that she was enjoying this so much. Then squeezed his hand gently as she said, "There's what we're looking for."

She nodded to a section of dildos--a range from functional to fanciful to what she would term _sculptural_ \--and she could practically sense that Peter was going to trip over his feet before he did, upsetting a display of artisanal cock rings. 

"Shit. Sorry…" He lowered his voice again. "Sorry...um, I'll just…"

The clerk appeared and calmly began to clean up the mess. "It's no trouble at all." And while the display she recreated was simpler, she left them to their privacy fairly quickly. 

Pepper scanned the selection, as she watched Peter eying a table of dildos crafted from various stones and crystals—each with a card displaying the mystical properties of the materials. His eyes were comically wide, and Pepper could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek. His hands, she noted, were in his pockets. 

“That’s...a four thousand dollar crystal dildo…”

“With opals studding the scrotum,” Pepper noted. 

“Pep...you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“That’s not the one for you.” She kept herself from smirking again as she took his hand and pulled him to the display of smaller, simpler fare. 

He licked his lips and shifted from one foot to the other. “I...have no idea what I’m doing.”

“I know.” Pepper squeezed his hand. “We’ll get something smaller for you.” He was blushing, but Pepper knew Peter wouldn’t take that as some kind of affront to his manhood. The trust they’d built together told her that. And she loved him even more for it. “And for Tony…” Pepper scanned the shelves, looking for something that would work with her harness and that he’d enjoy. She resisted something he’d pick for himself—something loud, slightly ridiculous—and went for simplicity. Peter wanted a show, and she didn’t need a bedazzled cock to give him one. “This.”

“Okay, what now?”

“Lube.”

Pepper took her time, letting Peter wander. She didn’t need to investigate the selection as closely as she was doing, but subtly watching him find one surprise after another. There was always entertainment in watching someone who had never been to a sex shop. It was made better, in this case, by the upscale, hipster vibe that Peter had not expected in the least. When they left with everything in discreet--and also eco-friendly--packaging, Peter seemed to be in a daze. 

"You should clear your morning," Pepper said when they got back to the car. Peter held the door for her as she slid in. 

"Why?" He closed the door after sitting next to her and pulling on his seatbelt. 

"Because you're going to want to sleep in tomorrow." Pepper smiled because that was a promise. 

*****

When he heard the door open, Tony took his glasses off and looked up from the well-worn textbook he'd been flipping through. He'd had everything digitized, but sometimes it was nice to touch the pages, look at his old notes and rediscover half-forgotten ideas. He snapped the book shut and tossed it onto the coffee table when he saw Pepper with Peter, holding a shopping bag, right behind her. 

"I can't believe you two went shopping without me," he said in his best impression of exasperation. Then he smiled as he stood. "Unless you were buying me presents."

Pepper met him with a brief kiss followed by a knowing smile--the type of smile that always left him intrigued. "As a matter of fact we were buying presents for all of us."

He turned to Peter and made grabby hands at the artfully--definitely some kind of craft boutique--designed bag, but Peter pulled it back. "Where's my welcome home kiss?"

The kid was blushing, like he wasn't entirely sure where that one would land, but Tony liked that Peter didn't backpedal on it. He kissed Peter just long enough and just hard enough to distract him, making the bag easy pickings. But as he was about to go through the at least 65 percent--if he had to guess on the spot--recycled material tissue paper, Pepper shook her head. 

She was standing on one foot, lifting the other and half bending in that somehow balletic way women had about taking off heels without flashing what was under their skirts--except she was wearing trousers. It was a move Tony always appreciated both for its ubiquity and strange grace, so he was distracted enough to give her his attention. 

"I need a glass of wine first," Pepper said as she flexed one foot then the other.

"Red or white?" Tony rerouted himself to the kitchen. 

"There's an organic vermentino in the fridge."

She sank into one of the chairs and swung her legs over the arm. Tony liked seeing her begin to relax, so much so that he forgot about the shopping bag even before he set it down. He poured three glasses while Peter snatched the only perfectly ripe banana then vaulted onto the sofa. Tony handed out the glasses before parking himself on the rug by Pepper. 

"You know those things are bad for you," he said, nodding to her heels, as he took her right foot and began to knead the ball of it. 

"That's not what you said when you bought them for me."

"I think my mind is capable of holding the opposing view that your legs look hot when you wear Louboutins and that wearing them is potentially unhealthy for your feet"

"Mm." Pepper closed her eyes as she took a deep sip of the wine. She opened them again as she said, "Yes, you're so complicated." From behind him, Tony heard Peter snort. 

"Is he unironically eating a banana back there?"

"Yes." Pepper did something--because Tony did not know the actual mechanism of it and didn't care to find out--to her hair that let it fall over her shoulders. 

"Such an innocent."

"It's just a banana, dude." The next thing Tony knew, the peel landed on his head and Peter was laughing. 

"You're going to pay for that." He began on Pepper's left foot. 

"Boys," she said, voice firm--though Tony could hear an undertone of amusement. The silence after he took care of the peel was companionable, but it wasn't long before Pepper stood, holding her glass. "I'm going to have a relaxing bath. If either of you feels the need to clean up, you can do it in the guest bathroom."

"What was that about?" Tony asked when he heard the bedroom door close. He had an inkling, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up yet. 

"Uh...we went shopping, and I think…"

"Oh, right." Tony got to his feet. "Presents. Goodie." He rubbed his palms together before finding the bag.

Tony pulled out the paper at the top with a flourish and began to unwrap the bundle and held it up, twirling it around his finger as he watched Peter's cheeks instantly go from pink to red. And, of course, Tony couldn't help but grin--not just because Peter seemed surprised, embarrassed, and absolutely unable to figure out what he should do with his hands. It was also because when Pepper went shopping, she did not believe in sacrificing quality for convenience. 

"A handcrafted titanium cock ring." He held it up again, framing one eye with it as he looked at Peter. "Let's see what else we have."

The dildos were understated--black, unisex in that they were obviously phallic but not anatomical cocks--which was very much to Pepper's tastes. Tony held them up, comparing the size more for dramatic effect than anything else. And the lube...well, it didn't surprise him that Pepper had chosen something water-based and eco-friendly. 

"Did you know lube could be small-batch? Not tested on animals too...that's good because that would be...wrong." He tossed the bottle into the air and caught it again. "Okay. Come on. Let's go."

"But Pepper said…"

"Yeah, I know what Pepper said. I like my junk to be fresh for big moments like this, you know?"

"Uh…"

"Peter…" Tony went to the sofa, leaned over the back and pulled him into a kiss. This was endearing, it really was, but he wanted to get his hands on Peter. "Get in the shower with me, and I promise you won't regret it. And neither will Pepper."

Peter didn't. He absolutely didn't regret it. Showering with Tony Stark was the stuff of boyhood fantasies, and it was very difficult as an adult with his balls in Tony Stark's mouth not to spontaneously orgasm to death. It didn't matter that he'd sucked Tony off, that they'd made out, come so close to fucking...it felt like the first time every time. It was hard to think of it as normal, as anything else other than a dream. 

But there was Tony Stark, rubbing a towel through his hair casually, his cock half soft while Peter's was decidedly hard. Tony flicked at Peter's cock playfully with his towel. 

"Let me guess...you can keep that hard for...hours."

"Uh...yeah."

A sly smile. Peter could have melted right there. But Tony was walking out of the bathroom, tossing the towel behind him. "Good. Good."

Peter didn't know what he expected to see when he walked into the bedroom behind Tony. Pepper was soft and beautiful and...practical. He knew there wouldn't be candles and roses like some kind of movie. It was _still_ like a movie though because Pepper was there, hair damp and falling over her shoulders as she adjusted the strap on a harness holding the larger of the two cocks they'd bought. He wanted to say _whoa_ but couldn't make his voice actually sound. It was just a flash before she knew they were there, but the moment seemed spun out forever in time for Peter. Pepper was resplendent. Her skin looked so soft against the slight, ballerina definition in her muscles. He caught his breath. Her nipples were hard, and his fingers itched for her soft breasts. 

When she realized they were there, Pepper looked past Tony, catching Peter's eye as her lips curled into a small, closed mouth smile. 

"I think you broke him, honey."

Peter hadn't even noticed that Tony wasn't in front of him anymore, was behind Pepper, arms around her, one hand stroking the cock. 

"He'll catch up." Pepper turned in Tony's arms, kissing him deeply as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She held out a hand to Peter, and he went to her, moving as if he were in a dream. She cupped his cheek with her palm, pulled him into a kiss--then his lips met Tony's seamlessly. 

"This is what Peter wanted," Pepper murmured as she gently cupped Tony's balls. His eyes fluttered closed, and Peter couldn't tell if the obvious delight on his face was from Pepper's touch or the fact that Peter was watching. 

Pepper put her palm against Tony's chest and walked him back to the bed, letting him fall back when his knees touched the edge. She held Peter's hand all the while, as if reassuring him that they were all real, that they were all awake. She ran her fingertips down Tony's chest and turned away. Peter could see the unspoken--was it a command, a request--he wasn't sure. But he went to Tony, kissed him hungrily. 

"Mmm. So," Tony murmured, "so you like to watch…"

"I like to learn," Peter said, a self-deprecating smile spreading across his face. 

"And he's a very quick study." The cock glistened with lube. Pepper took Peter's place and kneed Tony's legs apart, taking her place between them. She pushed his knees up and pressed the tip of her cock to his hole, playfully spreading the excess of lube. 

"Someone's in a hurry." Tony quipped. He was nearly quivering with anticipation though, and it was clear that he wanted to goad Pepper. 

She was unflappable, though. Peter watched as she pushed into Tony slowly. His own breath hitched at the look in her eyes--her movements were gentle, loving, but the quiet control made him shudder. He started to stroke his own cock, but one glance from Pepper and he dropped his hand. It was hard to take his eyes off of her, the arousal in her eyes, the way she snapped her hips with each stroke, making Tony moan. 

Peter ached for that, to make Tony look that way, to feel Tony or Pepper inside of him. The way Pepper stroked Tony's cock was almost a lazy syncopation to the way she fucked him. She didn't give him a chance to talk, to goad her into letting him finish faster. Peter could tell how close he was, though, and finally, he watched Tony open his eyes, his gaze meeting Pepper's. 

"Pep…" The rest was an unspoken plea--as close to begging as Peter thought he might see Tony come. But he was always willing to be surprised. 

"Peter, come here." he slid over to Pepper's side and kissed her before she whispered in his ear. What she said made his heart leap to his throat as much as it made his cock twitch. Silently, he went down on Tony as Pepper stilled. Peter was coy about it, gentle teasing. And Pepper started to fuck Tony again. 

A string of curses came from Tony's lips as he came, exploding into Peter's mouth. When Peter sat up, eyes watering while he wiped his mouth, he couldn't help but cough. 

"Holy shit," he gasped. "That was...a lot."

Pepper ran her thumb along his bottom lip. "You'll see what it's like."

*****

It wasn't sexy, removing the harness, cleaning the dildo. But Pepper had no doubt that Peter would take excellent care of Tony while he was coming down from the high of his orgasm. In truth, Pepper needed a minute to herself. She was almost painfully aroused. Slipping a small vibrator into the harness would have taken care of that efficiently, but Pepper didn't want that. This was about Tony and Peter--that final puzzle piece to making this whole thing start to knit together. 

She could wait. She could deny herself. And that was her own, private delight. Because self-denial was the most difficult form of control. When she came back, harness dangling from her fingers, Tony was raking his fingers through Peter's hair, half on top of him as they kissed. Pepper smiled to herself. 

"Oh, good. I thought you both might get bored."

"We could never get bored waiting for you, Miss Potts." His eyes were bright. The haze of satisfaction had left, and it was clear he wanted more. But Pepper also knew Tony was aware of his own limitations. And he'd never meet a piece of technology he didn't like for helping him overcompensate. He beckoned her over and made grabbing hands for the harness. "Give it. My turn now."

"No one's disputing that," she said as she handed him the harness and straddled Peter. "Hi." Pepper brushed his hair off of his forehead. 

"H-hey, Miss Potts." He smiled lazily at that. Oh how different that could sound coming from Peter's lips. Pepper felt herself clench in delight. She had them both right here, and the shadow that had overlaid all of her desires since that day seven years before was disappearing. 

"Relax," she whispered. And she could see it in his eyes when Tony returned, harness fitted with the smaller dildo. Pepper glanced over her shoulder before kissing Peter softly. "Don't worry, you'll work up to it."

"Let it be known that I," Tony said as he let Pepper lube the cock, "am a very considerate lover."

Pepper smirked. "I can't imagine why Peter would think anything else." She went back to the bed and pulled Peter to her, letting him lay his head in her lap. Peter was quiet, his breath jagged as Tony took extra care, spreading the lube with his fingers. Seeing Peter's wide eyes--Pepper wagered that he hadn't paid any attention to the fact that the small dildo was hollow, perfect for Tony's semi-flacid cock--only added to the charm of the situation. 

"I love you," she murmured as she stroked his hair. 

"I...oh god…" 

Tony was pushing into Peter carefully, but Pepper saw Peter tense. She bent to kiss him, slowly, lazily so that he relaxed without realizing it. And soon, he was arching into Tony's every thrust, moaning. His eyes were glazed, mouth quirked into a half smile when he wasn't moaning. And Pepper was sure he wasn't hearing the constant stream of dirty talk coming from Tony's lips. 

She stroked his hair while Tony fucked him, stroking his cock. He was out of practice; Pepper could tell. But that didn't matter here, now. Mirroring earlier, when Peter was close, Pepper took his erection into her mouth, tonguing the shaft lazily, knowing there was nothing she needed to do. She was prepared when he bucked forward. Instead of swallowing, she pulled Tony close to her, passing Peter's cum from her mouth to his, letting him finish as Peter had earlier. 

Pepper sat back down on the bed and laid back, her hands behind her head. She was satisfied--satisfied with herself but mostly satisfied that both Tony and Peter were happy, sated. She could have fallen asleep while Peter recovered, while Tony gently pulled him to the bathroom to help him clean up. 

*****

Tony knew Pepper. He knew her pussy had to be wet, swollen with her own needs. And he knew that the longer she delayed the orgasm, the more she would like it. But as he headed back into the bedroom, Peter held him back, murmuring that he had an idea. Tony certainly had his own ideas, but he was intrigued enough to hang back, to follow Peter as he strode over to the bed on legs that still looked a little weak. And Tony certainly didn't mind the view of the kid's ass. All of those acrobatics gave it the perfect perkiness. 

"That was intense," Peter said as he slid onto the bed beside Pepper. She was propped on pillows against the headboard, hair over her shoulders, nipples half hard. 

"Really intense," Tony said, settling in on her other side. 

"And we want to thank you…" Peter smiled--it was nearly mischievous, leaving Tony even more interested. 

Peter walked his fingers down Pepper's stomach, grazing them over the tight, neat strawberry curls between her legs before pressing two into her. Pepper's nipples immediately stiffened, so Tony took the opportunity to roll one beneath his fingertips, pinching lightly. When Peter nodded to the lube on the bedside table, Tony passed it. Of course there was no shame in needing a little extra help, but when he pulled his fingers out of Pepper, they were glistening. 

Pepper's eyes were locked on Peter's, and Tony wasn't sure he'd ever seen either one of them look at anything with such intense trust. Pepper's breaths were deep, shuddering, and Tony could see Peter adding more fingers, slowly pushing his entire palm into Pepper's cunt. He realized he was holding his own breath, every other sound distant to the rush of blood in his ears. Pepper's mouth was partially open, her breath now short, desperate gasps. The way her eyes darkened with pleasure, desire… _Lust_. Tony realized it was raw lust but filtered through a vulnerability he had so rarely seen her display and never, _never_ in bed.

"Tony." 

Tony wasn't sure if that was the first time Peter had said his name, and he shook his head to clear it. Pepper's face was flushed, and Peter mouthed, _Her clit_. Tony felt like he was moving through water. He lowered his mouth to Pepper's clit, flicking it with his tongue. But when he began to suck it, he felt Pepper's orgasm break open. Her moan was almost a scream, and he had never heard anything so _carnal_. 

"Shit," he said, unthinking, when Pepper stilled. They were still for a moment before Peter carefully started to pull out, Pepper coughing lightly to help. 

Tony had had threesomes. He'd had moresomes and actual orgies. This was not that. This was not a night or two or a week he could barely remember. He let himself admit that he was going to have to learn to give more of himself than he'd been willing to give to anyone other than Pepper. And he knew now that he could give more even to her. To them both.

*****

Peter knew why Pepper had told him to clear his schedule for the morning. He'd slept past when his alarm would have gone off, and he woke still in the pleasant haze of the night before. How Pepper still managed to get up without waking him was amazing. And now it wasn't just him. Tony was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, taking up way more room than it seemed like his body should. He was still snoring when Peter got out of bed and pulled on his boxer briefs. 

When he wandered into the kitchen, scrubbing at the messy hair sticking out at the back of his head, Peter saw Pepper pacing back and forth, earpiece in. She was nodding as if whoever was on the other end of the call could see her. Peter knew they couldn't though because he could see her erect nipples under one of Tony's tees. As she paced from behind the kitchen counter and turned back, he realized she was wearing a threadbare pair of boxers he'd forgotten he had. 

When she realized he was watching her, she smiled and waved him over. Peter resisted the urge to wrap his arms around her from behind. Instead, he let her finish the call while he poured a cup of coffee. Then he heard Pepper groan and knew she was done. 

"I've got to get dressed."

"Don't do it." Peter burned his tongue on the first sip of coffee, but that was one of the little perks of his rapid healing time. 

"I'm sorry." Pepper wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. "I wanted to have breakfast with you both. One of the customers in India...it's a mess."

Peter turned, planting a kiss on her forehead. "We'll be okay."

"You're sure?" she asked, holding him at arm's length as if studying him. 

"Are you worried we'll go do crazy science together or just get hot and heavy again."

"Well, the crazy science part hadn't occurred to me, but now that you mention it…"

"Mention what?" Tony asked. He was in silk pajama bottoms and a matching robe, which Peter found hilariously ridiculous but also kinda hot. 

"You and Peter potentially blowing up a lab together." Pepper pulled away from Peter and headed to the bedroom, pausing to give Tony a peck. She yelped in surprise when Tony slapped her ass as she continued past him. "She tell you that's what she likes?" 

"Ha. Ha." Pepper called from the hallway. 

Peter grinned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think she's the one who likes that kind of thing…"

Tony didn't take the bait on that one, but Peter didn't mind. He started gathering the ingredients for pancakes. "How many pancakes do you want?"

"That depends on whether the bacon is real or made of turkey."

"Real."

"Three...maybe four. So…" Tony slid into a seat at the kitchen bar while Peter started mixing the batter. "About last night." He held up his hand before Peter could interrupt. "Nope, I'm talking. That thing you did with Pepper… That was your whole hand. Your _entire_ hand...in her vagina. Why did I not know about this?"

"Uh, it's called fisting. Have you not watched porn?"

"Why would I watch porn when I could live it?" Tony said it so nonchalantly, and Peter was proud of himself for not reacting in surprise. 

"To...learn about fisting?"

"Don't make me bend you over that table and spank you, Peter Parker."

This time, he knew he was blushing, but Peter just smiled as he spooned the batter onto the electric skillet. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try." And if he thought about it, he wasn't actually sure that he didn't mean that. 

Tony winked at him and smirked, which made Peter feel decidedly weak in the knees. But it was clear Tony was still fixated on what he'd done with Pepper. "So one day you just…" He made a noise that was something between a zip and a whistle as he airplaned his hand upwards. 

And it left Peter somewhere between appalled and amused. "Dude…" Peter put down the spatula he'd just used to flip the first two pancakes and stared, blinking as if it would clear his own head. "We talked about it first. What is wrong with you?"

"Huh…" Tony ran his palm over his beard. "That seems healthy."

"We've got to work on your communication skills," he said as he slid four pancakes on a plate and handed them to Tony as he laid the bacon out on the already hot griddle.


	18. Big Reveal

Pepper had seen the jet rising in the air from the car, so she wasn't in a hurry anymore once she arrived at the compound. Tony sauntered over to the drive, meeting her halfway across. He looked good--relaxed--in his precisely faded jeans and light thermal with pushed up sleeves. 

"I really did try to get here to say goodbye, but…"

"It's okay. He gets it. He would have pushed the flight time, but...same deal as you." Tony took her in his arms and kissed her slowly. "He did ask me to give you that, though."

"Oh, did he? Just like that?"

"Yep. He was very specific. There was a demonstration involved."

Pepper still regretted not being able to see Peter off along with Tony, but he had a business dinner only a few hours after he landed in Copenhagen, leaving his wheels up time pretty firm. In the past week and a half, the three of them had settled into an easy routine. It wasn't perfect, but the mostly mental blocks Peter and Tony had been struggling to bypass seemed mostly gone. Pepper found herself working less and less at her office in the compound. The overwhelming shadow of grief that kept her running Stark Industries from there for nearly seven years was behind her. It wasn't gone; the snap left scars on everyone. But she could cling to what she'd both found and regained without hiding herself away for fear she couldn't keep herself together. 

"I'm sure you hated that."

Tony grinned. "Every second." He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear, "Hey, wanna go fool around?"

Pepper playfully pushed him away. "Buy a girl dinner first. I seem to remember you missing our last reservation."

"I deserved that…" Tony called as she walked away. But Pepper was smiling; it felt good to be able to joke about it, even if the old wound might never entirely heal. 

She was looking forward to a little time with Tony while Peter worked with several EU governments to convert plants initially designed for converting burned trash and biofuel to arc reactor technology. And Pepper was thankful that she didn't have to go on this one--the schedule was a little punishing--nothing Peter couldn't handle--but her body had begun to rebel against a long flight followed by every other day being a partial travel day as well. 

As she walked inside, she had F.R.I.D.A.Y. make a 7:30 dinner reservation before having Karen text Peter an apology and that she loved him. "Oh, and Karen, have the hotel set up a basket of fruit and organic protein bars, and," she paused, sighing, "whatever the Danish version of Cheetos is for when he arrives."

"I'm sorry," Tony said as he stepped into the elevator next to her, "but did you just use both of our AIs to do jobs that one of them could have easily done? 'Karen' was meant to be a babysitter, not a personal assistant. Do you need a personal assistant? I can make you one, you know."

"I have one, thanks." Pepper couldn't help but smile at him. Even now, she was still simply glad to hear him ramble. "And I like using both of them. They're different."

"Obviously they're different. One is a highly...why are you laughing?"

Pepper touched his cheek with her palm. She wasn't sure when she would stop checking to see if he was real. "I'm going to get changed for the gym then having a shower before dinner. You're welcome to join me in both."

"You know," he said as they got off of the elevator, "we could skip the whole clothes and gym part."

"Or we could not."

"Or we could not," he repeated, shrugging. It wasn't the reaction Pepper expected. She was used to a little wheedling and Tony's steady stream of justifications, no matter how illogical or irrational. But she was pleased that maybe a little bit of Peter was rubbing off on him. 

*****

Tony rummaged around in the bedroom closet and then the coat closet out in the hallway. He'd looked everywhere he _thought_ a suitcase would be, but he realized he'd probably last packed for himself...never. Pepper always took care of it. 

"Honey," he called. "Do we have any suitcases that Peter didn't take to Europe with him?" He'd sworn the kid only left with a carryon and a hanging bag. 

"Spare bedroom closet." Pepper's voice was distant, almost like she was in the pantry or out on the deck. She was working out there when he'd come up from tinkering in the garage. Though Tony knew he looked there at least twice, he didn't see the suitcases until she told him they were there. He tossed the smallest one onto the bed and opened it, staring at it as if it would pack itself. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., make a list of everything Pepper usually packs and where to find it."

"Sure thing, boss."

Pepper was still outside, sunlight waning as she continued typing away on her laptop. Tony honestly had no idea what she did all the time because he'd never been that busy in her position. He put his hands on her shoulders and kneaded them for a second before sinking down in the chair across from her. 

"Sure you don't want to come?"

"I'd only be a distraction."

"That's the point." She wasn't looking up even though he was doing his best puppy-dog face. "We could all take a romantic gondola ride together, and you could deal with the press fallout the next day." Pepper scoffed but still didn't look up. "Come on, you love it."

She sighed and closed her computer, finally giving him her attention but with a look, which he knew very well, that said she was only willing to humor so much of his bullshit. "You need a project."

"I have a project. I'm going to save Venice from sinking and then take the solution global to other threatened communities until I can figure out how to reverse climate change. Admittedly, half a decade with only half the world's population to spoil it all helped, but I'm still going to take most of the credit."

"But first you're going to ask me to pack your suitcase."

"Since you brought it up…" He was relieved when Pepper's face softened into a fond smile. She got up and ruffled his hair before bending to plant a kiss on his lips. 

"You're hopeless."

"Without you, Miss Potts, yes."

It was true, though, Tony reflected. And he'd been on the verge of really giving in to that before Thanos had happened and taken him away. He was ready to step back, maybe just consult with the Avengers so Pepper could sleep at night. And it wasn't only for her. He wanted it too--not a slower pace but time for other things. And now, he just felt like he was in some sort of limbo waiting for a direction to manifest itself. 

He shook his head as if to clear it. The Venice project would be a good distraction, and he was liking the idea of working with Peter on it, seeing what the kid could really do in a professional context. And...well, a little one on one time in one of the most romantic places in the world didn't seem like such a bad idea either. Tony grinned; he'd have to get Peter out on a gondola. The paps would love that. 

*****

Peter checked the time as he headed up the flight of stairs to his hotel suite. He relished the exercise after meetings and flights only followed by more meetings. As he fumbled his key card out of his pocket, Peter checked his phone, seeing a voicemail from Pepper. It made him smile even before he balanced it between his ear and shoulder to listen as he tapped the keycard to open the room. 

"I'm in meetings for the rest of the day," Pepper said, sounding apologetic, "but I wanted to say hi while I could. Enjoy Venice. And try not to get into too much trouble with Tony, okay? Love you."

When Peter got into the room, he dropped his phone, the keycard, and his bag. The room was covered in red roses. There was champagne. He actually wasn't sure if that's what it was because there were three different bottles, and one was pink. There was a spread of fruit and pastries and little melon balls wrapped in what looked like really thin bacon. 

"What…"

Tony came into view and shrugged. "Surprise." He took one of the bottles out of the bucket and deftly went through the process of opening it. Peter didn't think he'd ever seen someone open cham[agne that fast. And he poured two glasses, passing one to Peter. "Honestly, I realized I have no idea what you like, but Pepper would hate this. So, I never get to do it. I thought it would be fun." He clinked his glass against Peter's and drank half of it. "Is it fun?"

"It's...a lot." Peter sipped his drink, using the moment as a chance to look Tony over. Dark jeans, one of the tees Peter hadn't managed to steal, a blazer, and sneakers that looked like they'd never been out of the box--he looked undressable. Peter laughed. It was ridiculous. The whole setup was ridiculous, and he was pretty sure Tony had probably just told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to order triple of everything. But Peter loved it; he loved that Tony's default when he didn't know what to do was to just do everything. 

"You know, if you wanted to show your appreciation in as physical a way as possible, I wouldn't mind."

"Is that what Pepper does?" he teased. 

Tony cocked his head. "Maybe...forty percent of the time."

Peter laughed again and pulled Tony into a kiss, tasting the bubbly on his tongue. He pulled away and finished his glass. "Are there gonna be rose petals on the bed."

"Oh yeah." Tony was grinning. "The staff is going to hate us."

"So…" Peter looked around, trying to imagine what Pepper would do in this situation. Probably roll her eyes. He missed her. "I was, uh, gonna go grab dinner at one of those places down in the square…"

"No way. That stuff is way too highbrow to be any fun. I'm taking you to this little place...makes the best pumpkin flan you've ever tasted in your life."

"Uh...isn't flan...more of a Spanish thing?"

"Yeah, whatever, it's a this restaurant thing. Let's go. Lots of tiny, dark streets on the way to make out in."

Tony was right--about the Flan and the dark streets. By the time they got back, Tony was a little flushed with the wine, and Peter was giddy enough to be drunk. There was something about Venice, though, and Peter felt lighter, even carefree. 

"We should take a gondola ride," Tony said as they made their way into the elevator. 

"I think we should go upstairs." Peter leaned in the corner, watching Tony, trying not to be nervous. A gondola ride sounded romantic, and it was _interesting_ to see this side of Tony. But even though it was dark, he knew the right pap at the right time would leave Pepper putting out fires. He had no doubt that she had a media strategy, but fooling around with Tony right now sounded better than worrying about pictures before fooling around with him later. 

"Holy shit, you weren't kidding," Peter said as he walked into the bedroom to the silk coverlet on the bed strewn with pink, red, and white rose petals. More roses were all over the room. There was a huge arrangement shaped like a gondola. He shook his head and laughed. 

"So…" Tony flopped onto the bed and winked. "You want dessert?"

"Did you really just say that?"

"Would you rather I sweep you off your feet, rose between my teeth?"

Peter wondered if he'd ever tried that with anyone else and how exactly that went. He kicked off his shoes and straddled Tony. "Nah. Seems like a little much."

Their clothes ended up in a heap, and half the rose petals that weren't on the floor were crushed into the coverlet. Peter could feel them, cool against his cheek as it was pressed into the bed, his ass in the air with Tony pounding his cock into it. He held Peter's hip with one hand and stroked his cock with the other. He came and came hard, leaving Tony panting as he flopped back onto the bed. 

Peter laid on his stomach for a moment, relishing the afterglow, the warmth that spread through him after the ache of need was diminished. But as soon as he turned his head to see Tony lying there, his cock started to stiffen again. 

"Why don't you raid the mini-bar," Tony said. "Get an old man a drink?"

Peter returned with a glass of bourbon and a towel, and he wasn't sure how he had the patience to let Tony drink it. When Tony got up, ostensibly for another glass, Peter broke. He wanted, needed more. 

"That's impressive," Tony said, raising the empty glass and tipping it to Peter's erection. "You should let me do some blood tests, so if I can replicate it...we could open a whole new wing of Stark Industries."

"Not interested in that right now!" Peter shoved Tony against a wall. The glass fell to the carpet and rolled. 

"No, it doesn't seem like you are…"

It was easy for Peter to pick Tony up. It felt like nothing to brace him against the wall, to slide his lubed cock into Tony, making them both moan. The feeling of his cock inside of Tony was almost too much. But Peter could see the pleasure on Tony's face, could feel Tony's heels digging into his back. 

"Come," Tony moaned. "Let me feel you come…"

He didn't need to be told again. Afterward, they both sank to the floor, and Tony leaned his head against the wall, eyes closed. "Huh...so that's what it's like to fuck a meta-human."

Peter chuckled and stood, holding out his hand for Tony. "We should both probably get some sleep."

"Yeah." Tony took Peter's hand and pulled himself up. As he headed toward the bathroom, he glanced over his shoulder. "Don't think you're getting out of that gondola ride tomorrow night."

"I'll think about it," Peter called after him. 

He picked up his phone to glance through the next day's schedule. After that, he snapped a few photos of the more over the top flower arrangements, dropping them in a text for Pepper. 

_Miss you_ , he wrote, followed by a heart. _Don't be shocked if gondola pics show up. Not my fault. Love you._

He realized that he was actually tired but in a good, satisfying way. He felt sated. The only thing better would have been having Pepper there too and seeing her react to Tony's level of extra with the welcome package. Actually, better than that would have been seeing her react to him fucking Tony against the wall. He ended up dozing off that night thinking about whether either of them would like the idea of shooting video. 

*****

Pepper had F.R.I.D.A.Y. turn up the volume and magnify one of the screens. She stopped what she was doing entirely, realizing she was leaning forward, the muscles in her shoulders and jaw tight. There was a replay of a crumbling Venetian palace, which is what had caught her attention in the first place. It was a report in Italian, though Pepper was sure the American cable channels would probably be picking it up by now because she saw a slightly out of focus cell phone shot of Iron man splashed across the screen before one of both Iron Man and Spider-Man followed. 

She'd only had the Italian feed on out of habit--monitor wherever Tony was if she wasn't already there because if something happened, she wanted to get ahead of it. For a brief moment, Pepper wondered if doing that brought about the event. She shook her head. 

"Subtitles." Her Italian was passable but not as fluent as her French. 

"There's a live press conference beginning on multiple outlets, including the BBC and MSNBC. Would you like me to switch over?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

Pepper didn't need to inquire about whether Tony was involved. The AI wouldn't have noted it otherwise. Sometimes Pepper wondered if F.R.I.D.A.Y. had grown to the level of mind reading. 

"Yes. Whichever. Close out everything else and hold any calls."

Someone from INTERPOL had taken the podium to explain that the incident was being investigated as a possible terrorist attack, that they had ruled out structural failure when it became clear bomb fragments were on scene, and that there were no injuries thanks to the help of Iron Man and Spider-Man. Then Tony stepped up--dusty and still in his suit--for the effect, Pepper knew. Other than a scrape across his forehead, he looked fine, but Pepper couldn't let go of the tension in her shoulders without knowing Peter's status. 

"Vitals are within normal parameters for both suits." There was F.R.I.D.A.Y. reading her mind again. 

"Thanks," Pepper murmured as Tony began to speak. It was the usual. Tony probably only involved himself in the presser because it had been a right time right place situation rather than a mission. At least, she hoped it wasn't a mission. They hadn't talked about his capacity as an Avenger now that he was back, but Pepper felt like she'd know if he'd gone for something specific. And it was hardly like anyone would send Tony to sniff out a terrorist--Nat was much more suited. 

"...and by now I think it's clear that while I certainly could have done this without help…" He stopped to flash a smile. "Kidding, of course. The aid of Spider-Man was essential to getting everyone out unharmed. Come on up…" He beckoned and Peter emerged from out of frame, suit dusty but intact. "I know it's not often that we see this guy outside of New York. But the fact is, he is an integral part of the Avengers and was instrumental in getting half the world's population back. So, we think going forward, it makes sense for you to know that the man behind the mask is…"

Blood rushed in Pepper's ears as Peter's nano mask fell away. The next thing she felt was the ache in her jaw from clenching her teeth so tightly. And then, she tried to swallow the hurt and disappointment that neither had shared this with her beforehand. They had never even talked about Peter going public with his identity. And, of course, she doubted if Tony had asked when he convinced Peter to do it. Because she had no doubt Tony convinced him. The look on Peter's face wasn't one of wide-eyed surprise, and it absolutely would have been if they'd done anything other than discuss it.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., have PR draft a release. The company has always been aware of Mr. Parker's identity and has respected his wishes to remain private. The usual about how he will continue in his role… Let them know I will draft my own statement." She was still staring at the screen, clutching her phone. There was a mob of questions, which Tony was fielding expertly by the look of it, but Pepper didn't hear a word. She didn't hear the sound of footsteps behind her. 

"What the hell is going on?"

May Parker stood there, hair damp and no makeup on, wearing an old tee with faded jeans. Her face was flushed, but Pepper didn't have to see that to tell she was absolutely incensed. She stood slowly. 

"I…"

"Oh, god, you didn't know, did you?" May's voice was softer, but her gaze, now fixed on the screen, was still hard. She stalked to the sofa and rounded it, sitting and pulling Pepper down beside her, keeping hold of Pepper's hand. "What the fuck do they think they're doing?"

"They didn't consult me." Pepper's voice was flat as she came back to herself. 

"What are you going to do?" May turned to Pepper. "What am I going to do?"

"I'm going to draft a press release, and you're going to do whatever it was you were doing before all of this." Pepper stood and smoothed the front of her skirt. "We can decide how they will make this up to us later."

"Pepper." May grabbed her hand again and squeezed it, which made Pepper look at her, really look at her. She could see that behind the anger was hurt but also fear. "Peter will not really talk to me about it, and I know you don't want to either. I don't...care. I really don't care what happens in your relationship...as long as he doesn't get hurt. As long as he's happy. But he's my nephew. He's practically my son. I raised him, and I'm dealing with the fact that I missed those years where he suddenly transitioned into an adult. But…"

"But they didn't include you either." Pepper closed her eyes for a moment, trying to focus. "You're family. We're all family now, and you feel just as left out as I do by being blindsided by this. May...I'm sorry."

"No it's…" May laughed--it was more frustration bordering on hysteria than happy--as she grabbed Pepper's other hand, so that they were standing face to face. Pepper had to admit that the touch was grounding. She was holding May's hands just as tightly. "It's not that. I mean, it is. You're right. And thank you for understanding that. You're a little scary. I mean...I could probably take you in a fight, but I don't think you're that kind of girl." This time the laugh was bright. "I was angry, but then I saw your face, and you looked...stricken. I can only imagine what you've been through all this time with Iron Man and the Avengers and dealing with all that in a _very_ public way. And now it's double."

"May, it's…"

"Like you said. We're family now. And now we have each other for this, okay? I'm hardly important enough to put out my own press releases, but I'm just trying to say that you don't have to handle all of this alone."

*****

They'd gotten in the air almost as soon as the presser was finished. Tony watched Peter fidget, bouncing his knee through takeoff, and he was up as soon as they were at cruising altitude. Then the kid pulled a can of pizza flavored Pringles out of the galley and started pacing as he shoved them into his mouth one by one. 

"You eating those things or breathing them?" Tony asked. 

"Huh?" It was clear in his glazed eyes that Peter hadn't really registered what Tony said. "Oh, yeah… Has Pepper said anything?"

"She put out a press release…" Tony lifted his tablet. It was the standard 'Pepper Potts, CEO' variation on her public reaction whenever Tony pulled shit she wouldn't approve of. She'd probably dictated the general statement from Stark Industries too. Because even though she didn't need to manage his press anymore, old habits die hard. And Pepper was a little bit--a lot, actually--of a control freak. Not that he would ever say that to her face.

"I know but…" Peter sat down across from Tony. "We should have talked to her first."

"It's fine. She's fine." They absolutely should have talked to her first, but Tony would rather ask for forgiveness than permission. And the truth was that Pepper would have persuaded Peter not to do it, or at least to do it in a way that was more controlled at a time that seemed right--whenever, if ever that time came. 

In the long run, it seemed to him that managing Spider-Man's image would be easier if the world knew who he was. No mysteries meant they could see what was coming. It meant Tony could keep a better eye on Peter, protect him and push him into a leadership role without having to be cloak and dagger about it. 

"Dude…" Peter's eyes were wide. This was the kid Tony had left behind--neurotic, second guessing himself, and utterly charming while he freaked out. "I didn't think this through. I get it...you're right. I can protect Pepper and May now, even if someone comes for me...or us. But...shit...May. She's going to be _pissed_."

"It's done. It's out there. Sure, Pepper and your aunt might be a tad upset…"

"That's an understatement," Peter said, scoffing. 

"They'll get past it. You can't take it back, and ultimately, this is better for you. Hiding, leading a double life… It's a lot. It takes a toll. You know that more than most. This way you can get ahead of any threats."

"Stop. Stop trying to convince me. I _know_ all of this. I get that. But I'm not...you. Pep has put up with your shit for a long time, and that's fine. But I shouldn't add to that."

Tony was taken aback, and he physically leaned away from Peter as if the words pushed him away. "Wow. is that what she says about me?"

"What? No...I mean. Are you denying it though?"

Peter didn't look like a kid anymore at all. He looked like an adult trying to do the responsible thing after he'd already fucked up. It was a position Tony had given up on a long time ago. But before Thanos, he'd been close--so close--to stepping away from rash and selfish decisions not only for himself but, really, for Pepper.

"You need to calm down. Regardless of Pepper's immediate reaction, she'll take it in stride. What you need to do now is think about how you're going to use this, make it part of your personal brand. Nat's not going to be leading the Avengers forever, and the way you go forward from this is going to affect everything."

"I get that," Peter snapped. "But part of that 'everything' is Pepper...and May. They're our family, and this affects them as much, maybe even more, than it does me."

For a rare moment, Tony's thoughts stopped whirling in every direction as he focused on Peter's words. _They're our family_. He'd been ready for that, for family, and Pepper told him in no uncertain terms what was holding them back. And while Tony had been thinking a baby, failing that maybe a dog or a mini horse wearing those cute sneakers because it would obviously live inside… But he realized that this was it. This was right now, and it involved a lover young enough to be his son as well as one hot Aunt May.

"You know what...you're right. I was selfish in encouraging you to be selfish, and we should have talked to Pepper. And May."

"Thank you." Peter slumped back, obviously relieved. He stared at his hands before glancing back to Tony again. "I'm sorry I got pissed."

"It's cool. You can make it up to me later."

Peter smiled in response, but it didn't reach his eyes. Tony let it go though, knowing Peter would need to deal with his anxiety himself...and that nothing would help until they saw Pepper again.

*****

Peter wasn't sure if he'd hoped Pepper would be waiting there to meet them when they deplaned, but he was both disappointed and relieved when there was no one but the maintenance crew. What he didn't expect was Nat waiting in the doorway once they headed into the living quarters. She stood there, nonchalantly leaning against it, door open. She had her arms crossed, head cocked, and she looked perfectly neutral--which was terrifying. 

"Appreciate that you boys gave me a heads up about your big announcement, considering I run the Avengers. Part of that job--as you should but probably don't know, Tony--is managing our PR."

"Consider that my last act before officially conceding my title." She and Tony stood nose to nose for a minute before Nat rolled her eyes and stepped aside. 

"I'm sorry. It was just…" Peter began, but Nat interrupted him. 

"I imagine you want to save that for your aunt. And Pepper."

"Yeah, speaking of…"

"In meetings." Nat's boots clicked on the floor behind them as they walked. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., where is Pepper _really_?"

"Dude, seriously?" Peter said.

"Sorry, Boss, Miss Potts is in a meeting…"

"Yeah, okay, traitor." Tony rubbed his hands on his jeans before turning to Peter. "This is Pepper's version of the silent treatment."

"Yeah, I've had the silent treatment before." He started taking the stairs two at a time, hoping May was busy too. "But I'm pretty sure we deserve it this time." He rounded a corner onto the landing and stopped in his tracks, nearly falling over to see May standing, arms crossed, at the top of the next flight. "Uh…" Peter coughed as he scratched the back of his head. "Hey, May." Peter couldn't be sure if he was imagining the crack in his voice. 

"Did you know you can get your phone number completely unlisted...like wiped off of everything?" She held up her phone as if to illustrate. "Because that's what Pepper had to do when the press wouldn't stop calling me after your announcement."

He hung his head, sighing before trudging up the steps. "Yeah," Peter said when he reached her, "I should have talked to Pepper. I should have talked to you. But…" He took May's shoulders and squeezed them. "But this is okay. This is the right thing. I'm not a kid anymore, May. I can keep you safe, keep Pepper safe...and I can do so much more, keep other people safe too."

He saw May's eyes go watery as she cupped his cheek, cocking her head as she smiled. "I know you're not a little boy anymore." She ran her thumb over his cheek. "But I still get to worry about you." 

He pulled her into a tight hug. "Thanks."

"Oh, I'm still mad at you," May said, laughing into his shoulder. 

*****

Pepper wasn't consciously trying to be quiet when she came in, and yet, she slipped her shoes off anyway before even getting off the elevator. It was true that she intended to make Tony and Peter wait; she just hadn't intended to make it until the middle of the night. But fires had to be put out, and Pepper hadn't thought twice about staying in the office to do it. 

When she got inside, Peter was asleep on the sofa with his mouth open and one arm thrown over his face, while Tony was bent over the dinner table--which Pepper didn't even know had a holo projector--spinning something that looked vaguely familiar. As soon as he realized she was there, he waved it away. 

"Hi, honey." He leaned against the table, looking absolutely guilty. 

Pepper pulled her earrings out of her ears and massaged the lobes. At least he felt guilty--that was proof he'd retained some of the growth he'd gone through before Thanos. "You should both be in bed.

"Yeah, you know me and sleep…"

"I don't need to start worrying about you obsessively making suits again do I? Or is the new suit unmasking other superheroes?" Pepper was only half kidding. Erratic behavior was a staple for Tony, but there was a level she wasn't prepared to deal with again. 

"Hey…" He pushed off of the table and walked to her, taking both of her hands. When Tony looked into her eyes, she couldn't help but smile. Those earnest, dark brown eyes with their perpetual twinkle of laughter were hard to resist. "I'm fine. You," he paused to kiss her softly, "have nothing to worry about. I screwed up. I saw an opportunity for Peter not to hide, for him to feel secure in who he is because he's got this. We've got this. But we should have cleared that with you...and hot Aunt May."

"You've got to stop calling her that." Pepper pulled her hands away and wrapped them around his neck.

"Am I wrong?"

"No, and that's the problem." When he put his hands on her hips, Pepper leaned into Tony, murmuring, "She came storming in here, and…" Pepper shrugged. "It was hard _not_ to think about her that way for a second."

"Ooh, now that's kinky. Somebody has the hots for Aunt May."

"Dude, don't talk about my aunt like that," Peter said in half a yawn as he walked toward them, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey…" Pepper pulled away from Tony and ran her fingers through Peter's hair, pushing it back so she could see his face. Of course, she knew he was alright; she'd seen him without a scratch at the presser, but it wasn't like she had been expecting him to end up in a fight.

"I'm sorry we didn't talk it out first," Peter said as he pulled her into a tight hug. "It was a big decision...you should have been involved, been there."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Uh, excuse me, I was there too."

Pepper pulled away from Peter slightly and looked over her shoulder. "You had the suit."

"He has superpowers...and a suit!"

Pepper rolled her eyes even as she held out her arm, opening their bodies to Tony. He would never acknowledge the depth of his need for validation, and even so, she would continue to give it to him, reassuring him that he was enough. 

"No more big announcements without checking in first."

Tony put his head on Peter's shoulder, looking up to Pepper with tired eyes. Tired, Pepper realized before she fell for the almost sweetness, but still bright. His lip twitched, wanting to curl into a smirk. "Is this the part where we have makeup sex?"

"Seriously?" Peter asked, scoffing as he looked at Tony. After a beat, his eyes flicked to Pepper. "But…" And when Pepper sighed through a smile, he had to keep himself from pumping his fist in delight.


	19. New Normal

Tony winced as Nat swabbed an alcohol wipe over his forehead and started applying a butterfly bandage. He knew she could be gentler, but then again, Tony also knew he wasn't Bruce or Clint or Wanda. He just closed his eyes and groaned. The laceration was really the least of his worries. Tony's armor kept him alive and fighting, but even for all it absorbed, his body still took a beating. And his body, no matter how many years he'd been dust, wasn't as young as it used to be. 

At the sound of Peter landing--and it was definitely a landing, not a stop, a stroll, a brisk walk--he opened his eyes and looked up to Nat. 

"Does he ever get tired?"

"Bet you don't complain about that in the bedroom." She winked before holding out her hand to help him up. They'd come out on top of the skirmish, but it hadn't been an easy fight. 

"All clear. You guys okay?" Peter's mask disappeared as he stepped towards Tony. He reached up to touch the laceration gently. 

"Wow, yes, Mother." Tony put his hand on top of Peter's, squeezing it briefly. "I'm fine, babe. Let's get out of here, let the cleanup and relief crews do what they need to do." He wrapped his arm around Peter's waist.

"Get a room," Nat called from behind them.

As he glanced over his shoulder Tony let his hand slip down to Peter's ass. He squeezed as he looked back at Nat and winked. Getting back and fucking Peter against a shower wall was exactly the thing Tony wanted. His dick was half hard thinking about it, but that was the problem--half hard. Because his head was aching, his body felt tired, and as much as he wanted his cock buried in Peter, falling asleep in a hot bath sounded great too. 

He was falling asleep by the time the quinjet was in the air. That wasn't because Tony felt like he was getting old or losing his edge. It was the lack of sleep. The same old problem--burning the candle at both ends. Only this time, he felt the weight of all the years that had passed and the ones that he had missed. He had Pepper, who had always been the best thing in his life, made his life even better, even fuller. 

Tony wasn't exactly sure how Peter talked himself into joining him in the bath once they got back, but he wasn't sorry. Peter sat behind him and pulled Tony back against his chest. Tony closed his eyes.

"You did good out there today. You were fast, focused… Didn't reference a movie even once."

Peter laughed and slid his arms around Tony. "I'm not an excited kid desperate to impress you anymore, you know."

Tony feigned shock, twisting to look back at Peter. "You mean you're not desperate to impress me anymore?"

"What? Inventing a time machine and bringing you back from the dead wasn't enough?"

"Honestly, I was more impressed you got Pepper to let you put your fist…"

"Yeah, that's enough talking," Peter said, and Tony felt him shift. Before Tony could get another word out, Peter's hand closed around his cock. 

"Yeah? I'm talking too much for you?" Tony relaxed, pushing his hips up into Peter's strokes. 

"I like it better when you moan."

"Mmm." The warmth of the water had seeped into Tony's core, and he enjoyed the lazy pace of Peter's touch. He could feel Peter's own cock hard against his back. "Cocky--pun absolutely intended--I like it on you."

"Just relax."

Tony did--his body did, at least. Even one of the many compartments of his mind did. But he couldn't keep from devoting the rest to thoughts, plans, inventions, experiments, and playing out every possible scenario of the future. With each stroke, Peter pulled Tony's consciousness back, and finally, for a brief, blissful moment as he came, Tony's mind went blank. 

*****

Sunlight filtered in through the windows as F.R.I.D.A.Y. lowered the tint, it was enough to wake Pepper. She'd come in to find Tony already asleep and Peter playing video games. But as soon as they'd both gotten in bed, Tony was awake and unwilling to let either of them get much sleep. Now, Peter had an arm thrown over her, and Tony was on his stomach, snoring in her ear. 

As soon as she stirred, though, and as careful as she was being, Peter opened his eyes. 

"Hey," he whispered. 

"Morning." Pepper smiled as she settled back down beside him. "I was going to put some coffee on."

"You were trying to sneak off to do some work." Peter played with a piece of her hair. 

"I was still going to put on the coffee."

Peter propped himself on his elbow. "No way. It's the weekend and we just got back _and_ you should stay in bed for once."

"Mm." Pepper stretched slowly before running her hand down Peter's chest. "As enticing as it is to stay in bed with both of you, you need a shower, and these sheets need to be washed."

"We could save water," Peter said hopefully, making Pepper laugh louder than she meant to.

"Get the coffee going first, and I might consider it."

Grinning, Peter slipped from underneath the covers. He didn't bother to pull on any clothes or run his fingers through his messy hair. Pepper shifted, watching him, realizing that Tony was awake and doing the same. He pulled her down half on top of him. 

"Does he ever age?" Tony murmured. "That ass…"

"No." Pepper shifted, letting Tony roll over to her so that they were nose to nose. 

"Disgusting. Absolutely," Tony said between kisses, "rude...of...him."

Pepper laughed into the kisses and slapped his chest playfully. "Save that for the shower, Mr. Stark."

"No can do, Miss Potts." He tweaked one of her nipples playfully and rolled out of bed before Pepper could slap him again. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower and head down to the lab. But…" He looked at Pepper over his shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows as he said, "you two crazy kids have fun."

Pepper got up quickly and put her palm on his forehead, then the back of her hand. She was only half kiddng too, and Tony's impish smile fell when he saw her concern. 

"Are you okay? I don't know that you've ever turned down shower sex."

Tony took her hand and kissed the back of it before pulling her to him. "I've just got some things I want to work on. You know how I get when inspiration strikes, honey." He pressed his hips into her, and Pepper could feel that Tony was half hard. "Save some for later, though, okay?"

"Okay." Pepper shook her head, her concern not entirely fading as she watched him head toward the bathroom. Finally, she pulled on a shirt Peter had left hanging on the back of a chair and did up half of the buttons as she walked to the kitchen, guided by the scent of fresh coffee. 

Peter was just pouring a cup, and he pressed it into Pepper's hands, stealing a quick kiss. "Tony still asleep?"

"He's in the shower."

"What? He started without me?"

"He's got some kind of idea brewing, so...don't expect to see much of him." Pepper pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. She knew Peter had seen Tony when he was working, but he'd never experienced it so intimately. But the abrupt change from the Tony who was taking his time settling in worried Pepper. "Did something out of the ordinary happen yesterday?"

Peter cocked his head, and he nearly overfilled his coffee as he thought. "No." He shook his head and sipped some of the too hot coffee out, not even flinching, before adding milk. "Just the usual. I mean, maybe Tony got knocked around more than the rest of us. He was pretty beat. But it was a hard fight."

Pepper sighed. "You know there's nothing _usual_ about what you two do."

"Well...yeah. But I thought you were used to it by now."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," Pepper said from over the rim of her cup.

Peter slid onto the counter, dangling his legs, and Pepper went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. It would be good for Tony to have a project. At least, that's what she told herself. It would make the world seem more normal to him. But Peter broke her thoughts when he cupped her face, and Pepper couldn't help but smile up at him. 

"More room in the shower for us, then," Peter said, leaning down to kiss her.

Pepper returned the kissing, coming away smirking. "Oh, yeah? Is that all you're thinking about?"

"To be honest, I'm thinking about bacon and eggs too, but I'd rather have you for breakfast first."

"Wow." Pepper leaned back, taking him in as she cocked her head. "Did you learn that one from Tony because that was...something."

"Pretty sure that was all him."

Both Pepper and Peter looked in the direction of Tony's voice. His hair was still wet, and he'd thrown on a tee and faded jeans. The unease Pepper had felt was pushed to the back of her mind by desire. She wanted to undo those jeans and push him onto the sofa before climbing on top of him. If Peter wanted to have Tony suck him off at the same time, she wouldn't object. But it had been too long since he wanted to be in the lab, and she didn't want to interfere with that. 

"You two be good. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "That narrows it down quite a lot."

Tony winked and he was gone. She knew that look--distant, most of his mind focused on something else. The familiarity was startling after so long. But then Peter was kissing her neck and sliding off of the counter to pull her towards the shower. And Pepper let herself put everything else to the back of her mind. 

*****

Tony pulled one of the rolling chairs out with his foot and flopped down into it. He spun in a circle, chin on his hand. No, the space didn't feel like his anymore, but Tony wasn't the space. He could work anywhere. A cave in the desert, space… He just needed to work. That was what would make the world seem sane again. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., bring up everything we have on," he hesitated for a moment, as if the word would bring the ceiling down on his head, "Extremis."

"Sure thing, boss. As a reminder, you put a personal warning on these."

"Yeah, yeah. Dangerous stuff. I get it. Bring it up, come on, chop chop."

He watched the visualization splash up onto the center of the lab bench. Tony pulled out one of the files and opened it, throwing up a molecular model of Extremis as it was when injected into Pepper. He knew how to neutralize it, to render it harmless. But that was useful in one context only. Pepper was safe now. He'd always managed to scrape by, barely keep her out of things, save her after the fact when really she was the one saving him.

"Let's play around with this a bit, shall we?" Tony stood and slowly rotated the model, mapping it in his mind, accessing information he'd filed away. "Access level just me, myself, and I for now."

"Got it," F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied. 

A brief flash of doubt crossed Tony's mind. But it was as fleeting as many of his thoughts, an emotion that passed quickly without fitting into the order of what was at the forefront of his mind. Pepper would hate that he was even looking at this again, but acknowledging that beyond a moment of reflection would lead him down roads he didn't want to tread. And she would see, in the end, that he was committed to doing good. And Peter...well, he was already superhuman. 

*****

"So…"

Peter flinched at the sound of Nat's voice. He told himself he'd been absorbed in his work. That's why he hadn't heard her coming. Not because she was a super spy with absolutely inhuman powers even though she was, ostensibly, human. 

"Hey." He swallowed. "Hey, Nat. Uh...Rhodey said the coffee machine milk frother thing was broken so…"

"Uh huh." Nat slid onto the counter and grabbed a banana. As she started to peel it, Peter turned away. He couldn't even think about her eating a banana without getting a hard on, so he knew better than to actually watch. "As long as it still makes coffee when you're done I'll be happy. The last time Tony fixed something in the kitchen, it was talking to us, making butter, and also doing some kind of bacterial experiment that went a little too well."

Peter chuckled. "It'll just make coffee. And foam milk."

"Great. How's it going with Tony."

"Uh…" Peter coughed and dropped the screwdriver he'd been working with. "I thought you didn't want to talk about my sex life, like...ever."

"Did I ask about sex?"

He could imagine Nat raising one of her eyebrows. In fact, he could feel her staring at his back, and it made Peter tense. "It's…" Peter sighed and he finally turned around. "It hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be." He felt suddenly lighter, and then he couldn't stop the words. "I mean, it's great. It's...crazy, like...totally intense. I mean, he's Tony Stark, and I've been, like, obsessed with him since I was a kid. But it's been...work to really connect. But yeah, I think we have."

"You don't have to sugarcoat it for me, you know."

"I know." Peter shrugged, looking away. "I love Pepper. I love Pepper so fucking much. Uh…" He could feel himself blushing, as if dropping an f bomb was something he shouldn't be doing in front of an adult. Except, he was an adult too. "I'm falling in love with Tony. It's just different."

"It's okay to feel that way." Nat cocked her head. "Tony is a lot."

"Tell me about it." Peter turned back to the machine and fitted the last piece in place. 

"Nah." he heard Nat slide off of the counter, and when he turned, she winked. "I don't think I will."

"Wait, you and Tony…" Peter didn't know why he was surprised. But Nat was already walking away, and she definitely wasn't going to say anything else. 

*****

Pepper didn't expect the wave of nostalgia that hit her when she keyed herself into the lab while Tony worked, his back to her. She thought she'd feel relief that he was working again, that he was engaged. Instead, she remembered long nights of Tony spiraling and her own worry. But she also remembered pulling him away, falling into bed with him, somehow capturing his attention for little snatches of time. 

"Big plans?" she asked, hanging in the doorway for a moment before walking toward him. 

She watched as Tony wiped away the graphics he was looking at, and it was almost as if she could see the effort he took in shifting his attention from that to her. 

"Just…" he paused, scratching behind his ear. "Tinkering. You know."

Pepper pushed down the lump that had formed in her throat. She felt so much older, and yet, watching him work, sliding into those old, familiar routines, Pepper could almost forget the years that had passed. She swallowed and smiled--not forced but still tinged with sorrow--and sauntered over to him. 

"Yeah?" Pepper leaned into Tony's touch as he put his hands on her hips. "Anything I should know about."

"Nah." Tony shook his head. He needed a haircut, and Pepper couldn't resist running her fingers through it. "Tweaking the suits, looking at what Peter has done with the nanotech...that kind of stuff. Nothing Stark Industries might want to snap me up as new head of R and D for." 

That million dollar grin, and Pepper was lost in Tony again. "Well, that's good because my current head of R and D would be pretty disappointed to be supplanted by his mentor, longtime crush…" She grinned as Tony cocked his head. 

"Longtime crush...is that so?"

"As if you didn't know." Pepper wrapped both her arms around his neck. "I came down to see if you wanted to have an early dinner. Peter is staying in the city tonight."

"Are you asking me on a date, Miss Potts?"

"I don't know, Mr. Stark." She got close enough that their noses touched. "Does leftover cauliflower macaroni and cheese with cold crab salad sound like a date?"

"Been a while since we had any alone time, that's all I'm saying." Pepper pulled away and cocked her head. She knew there were feelings swirling around in the vortex of his thoughts, and she knew he wasn't going to come out with them. "I think I'm falling in love with that kid..." Tony said quietly, and Pepper was surprised. 

It wasn't that she hadn't seen it. There'd been enough quiet moments she'd seen out of the corner of her eye. Tony and Peter had a language between them that Pepper didn't speak. She didn't begrudge them that. But she knew Tony, and she knew when he was holding back. "But?"

He shook his head, half smiling like he knew she'd ask that. "He's so young…" Tony shook his head. "God, Pepper, were we ever that young?"

"He's young. That's your issue?" Pepper crossed her arms. She tried not to give any other tells of how defensive she felt, how this brought back her own insecurities and guilt. "How many barely legal girls did you sleep with before we got together?"

"Whoa, hey, those were one night...sometimes two, three, five night stands. This is…" Tony stood and leaned against the lab bench. "We were planning a wedding. We were talking about a baby…"

"You had a dream about a baby." Pepper could feel the color rising in her cheeks. "Before you ended up on a spaceship and didn't come back."

Tony rubbed his eyes. "You could have a life with him--could've been married by now, had a kid or two…"

"I _have_ a life with him. Stop pushing things on me that I don't want. Not with all of this," she gestured to his suits, the chambers housing the nanoparticles, the lab itself, "and not now."

"He can protect you in ways I can't, ways I never could."

"Is that what this is about? Some kind of...superhero pissing contest?" The confusion, the grief, all of the uncertainty and guilt Pepper had felt for so long boiled into anger. "I love you, Tony. Why do you keep questioning that?"

"I'm not…"

"Yes you are," Pepper snapped. "I accepted the dangers of what you are and what Peter is a long time ago, and I also accepted that there are sacrifices for that life. I don't want him because he's superhuman, any more than I want you because you're a genius, billionaire playboy. I love you. I love him. You could love him too, but if this isn't something you want, I need to know. Right now."

He looked down, scuffed the heel of his boot against the floor for a moment before she realized he was starting to grin. "You forgot philanthropist."

Pepper slapped him in the chest halfheartedly, but she didn't let herself smile, even when Tony stood and took her into his arms. Tony knew how to use words to hurt, but she didn't think he realized that he was opening wounds that she constantly picked away at, leaving them never quite healed. 

"I want this. I want it, Pep. It just ups the stakes, and the last time I was this close to settling, I put everything I wanted to keep safe on the line and I lost."

At the anguish in his voice, Pepper finally let herself shed her angry tears. She took his face, running her thumbs over his cheeks before she kissed him so hard it made him stumble back. But Tony caught on immediately and held Pepper tighter, pushing against her. Tony balled the fabric of her shirt into his fists and deepened the kiss, almost crushing her mouth. And Pepper dug her nails into the back of his neck. 

They could both forget everything this way, at least for a little while. They wouldn't always have this to fall back on, but whatever Tony was working through, he'd made Pepper bleed old insecurities. So, this was what she needed--this for one moment of oblivion. Bits of paper and tools and other detritus clattered onto the floor when Tony pushed Pepper down onto the lab bench and pulled off of her joggers. Pepper was already wet, but she rolled her eyes when Tony pulled her panties off with his teeth. 

"Really?"

"It's charming," he said breathlessly as he kicked off his jeans, balancing on one foot as they got stuck for a moment. "And that's a lot more seamless in the movies, wow." He finally kicked the jeans away. 

Pepper sat up and pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear as she took Tony in. She pulled him to her by wrapping her legs around his hips. There was a moment where they both fumbled, bumped their foreheads together, but when Pepper pulled his cock into her, Tony groaned. 

He fucked her slowly, eyes closed as he kissed her jaw, underneath her ears. But Pepper wanted more. She squeezed her legs tighter and dug her heels into the small of his back. 

"Fuck me, Tony," she whispered harshly against his ear. 

"Jesus, Pep," he panted, thrusting hard, fingers digging into her hips. But she leaned back on her hands, pushing her pelvis up so he could go deeper. 

She closed her eyes, just feeling Tony. Even though her mind wandered to the first time with Peter, to Tony's workshop in Malibu what seemed like so long ago, she felt present, felt Tony holding back his climax, waiting for her. 

"Let go," Pepper said. She pushed up, wrapped her arms around. "Let go, Tony."

He did with a yell before sagging against her. Pepper felt the more carnal part of her desire ebb away, but as she ran her fingers through Tony's hair, she was still satisfied. She drank in the quietness of being so close to him. 

*****

The condo was smaller than their last one--housing was at a premium again--but Peter figured May didn't really need the extra space for him anymore when he bought it for her. He stood awkwardly, hands in his pockets, as he realized that the compound really had become what he thought of as home. He was going to miss May just being a couple of floors down. Still, it had only been a matter of time until she moved out. She was a city girl through and through.

"Well?" May sked, pulling Peter down beside her onto the sofa. "What do you think?"

"It's nice." He was glad he got everything out of their old apartment. The familiar furniture, the knick knacks all made it seem more real. "I like what you've done with it."

"I still can't believe you did this without talking to me."

At that, he couldn't help but smile. "You wouldn't have let me otherwise. Besides, it's the least I can do after everything you did for me."

May wrapped her arm around him and put her head on his shoulder. "I'll miss you, you know?"

"I'll stop by all the time. You'll start getting sick of seeing me."

They were quiet for a while, and Peter enjoyed the warmth of that silence for a while before his guilt at leaving May alone started to resurface. It was like she knew though. She propped her elbow on the back of the sofa and smiled at him.

"Are you happy?"

"Yeah, of course," Peter answered, words spilling out in a half laugh before he really thought about the answer or what she was really trying to ask. "It's good. I promise."

"I've been in your place, Peter. You're happy; you know there's no one else for you." Her eyes were soft, sad. "But there's always that nagging feeling that you can't reassure your partner enough that you won't regret your choice to be with them."

"They know that." Peter looked down. He hoped that they knew that, and it seemed like Tony did, like they'd made some kind of mental agreement that day on the basketball court. But, as usual, May had pierced the heart of the issue when Peter hadn't really realized it might be an issue at all. 

"Just...be mindful, okay?"

Peter groaned. "I'll miss having you at the compound, but not this."

"I am just," May said as she got up and went to the small plant shelf she'd turned into a bar cart, "treating you like an adult--not giving you lectures."

"Oh, is that what this is?" Peter leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He couldn't help but grin. There was nothing simple about May, but she could always end any conversation, no matter how difficult or awkward or even sad, by making him smile. "What are you doing?"

"Making martinis. We need to toast this place."

"That's absolutely not how you make a good martini." Peter crossed to her in two steps and took the shaker out of her hand. "Gimme that."

"Since when do you know how to make a martini?" she asked, laughing as she bumped him with her hip. 

"Since the first time Pepper had a really bad day." He poured vermouth into two glasses, swirled it, coating them, then poured it out. "It's really better when you stir it."

"Not if you're James Bond." May popped an olive in her mouth and winked at him as she let him continue.

Peter smiled. It was like May had never been gone at all--except he was making them martinis instead of banana fizz smoothies in a totally different apartment where he didn't live and never would. He finished both, added three olives--Pepper's preference--without even thinking about it and handed May her glass. 

"What should we toast to?"

"To my very grown up nephew," she said as she raised her glass slightly, then took a sip. "And his very good martinis...wow. I'm proud of you, Peter."

"That I can make a martini?"

May smiled, the lines around her eyes softening. "That you brought me back, brought everyone back. And that you made a life for yourself too. I like the man you've become."

*****

Pepper pulled her hair into a ponytail, checking that it was tight enough to withstand her workout. A brilliant sunset splashed across the windows that overlooked the river. She rubbed the back of her neck as she set the bike the way she liked it and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard weights being settled onto the rack. 

"Oh, my god, Nat. I had no idea you were here." Pepper should have been used to that cat-like stealth. 

"You seemed lost in thought." Nat cocked her head as if waiting for Pepper to explain even though she would be fine if Pepper didn't. "You're not usually here this late in the day."

"Am I that predictable?" Nat only smiled knowingly by way of reply, leaving Pepper to roll her eyes as she mounted the bike. "Peter is helping May finish getting into her new apartment, and Tony has been back in the lab working on…" she waved her hand. 

"I can think of more interesting things to do with that kind of alone time than the gym." She smirked. "We could always have wine, and cheese." Nat pulled her elbow back beside her ear to stretch. "Maybe this time without tears. Or sex...if you get bored."

"I think you'd need to be the one who got bored to resort to that."

Nat cocked her head again, this time entirely serious. "You're serious." She stepped closer to the bike and looked up at Pepper. For a moment, Pepper saw Natalie in those bright, clear eyes. But even Natalie was some small true part of Nat, just as, Pepper suspected, every character she played was. 

"I…" Pepper laughed, shaking her head at the absurdity of it, "Lately I've just been reminded of how old I really am. I'm not unhappy. I'm just…" She shook her head again. 

"You're only as old as you think you are."

Pepper scoffed. "Easy for you to say." Pepper adjusted her seat one more time and started to peddle, noting how Nat simply watched without hiding her appreciation of Pepper's body. While she knew both Tony and Peter appreciated her physical attributes, there was something different about it when it came from Nat. There was the kinship of womanhood, and there was a reality to the sentiment that always gave Pepper a boost. 

"If you change your mind," Nat said, eyes holding Pepper's gaze, "you know where to find me."

In response, Pepper merely smiled. It was a real offer, and she knew Nat wouldn't mind one way or the other that Pepper wasn't going to take her up on it. But still being wanted by Nat made her feel lighter, less tired, less like her body was pushing up against a crumbling mountain of time. And she'd coast on that for a little while at least.


	20. Girl Talk

"Peter?"

The lab was busy, but the sound of his name was right in his ear. "What's up, Karen?" he murmured as he carefully squeezed a chemical out of a dropper. 

"A set of files has been accessed on the Stark Industries Research and Development server."

Peter stopped what he was doing and cocked his head. Any kind of cyber attack would have been flagged way before it got to him, so this wasn't that. But there were a select few with as much access to the SI R&D material as Peter, and it wasn't that he didn't trust someone like Bruce Banner. It was more that he was curious about what Bruce might want to dig up. There was tons of data--everything had been digitized--and no way Peter could ever get through it all. 

"Huh." He took off his lab glasses. "What files?"

"Would you like me to show you?"

"Just, like, a summary."

"Data pertaining to potential medical applications of Extremis. The projects were never taken beyond the initial research stages."

Even though he hadn't asked for it, Karen splashed the information across the contacts he was wearing. Peter pulled out a random file, and opened it, scanning the contents. Silently, he mouthed _whoa_ as he reached back, motioning to DUM-E.

"Hey, DUM-E, hand me my phone." When he felt it drop into his palm, he closed his fingers around it. "Thanks, dude. Karen, call Tony."

"Of course, Peter."

After a moment, Tony appeared in front of him, and he looked about as distracted as Peter was. Peter could see him motion to whatever was in front of him, enlarging something that Peter was pretty sure wasn't the call screen. And he knew the look on Tony's face--not just distraction but the kind of singular concentration that only came with a project--a really good one. 

"Dude, what are you up to? This is like next level shit...plant DNA and some kind of viral…"

"Yeah, hey to you too, Peter. You," he said, focusing on Peter for half a second, "at the lab? Nice work on setting up an alert on old files."

"You could have bypassed that in half a second. Whoa, spontaneous limb regrowth? Why didn't we pursue this?""

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Who else would it be? So…"

"We'll talk about it at home. Just...not at the dinner table. You know how Pepper gets when we're all 'science this, science that'."

"Uh huh," Peter said. He was only half listening, the data and potential projections he was seeing holding most of his attention. He didn't really notice when Tony cut the line either. 

*****

Pepper didn't know when either Tony or Peter had crawled into bed and if that had been together or separately. Neither had come up for dinner, and one quick look at the lab feed told her where they were. It gave her a pang to see them both there, so engrossed in whatever it was they were doing. And Pepper wasn't sure if it was that she was so overwhelmed to see them together, so in sync, or if it was because she knew it was something she could never share with either of them.

But now, she was awake, arms around Tony as she pulled him into her lap and tried to soothe him. Pepper was no stranger to his nightmares, but these were different, more intense. And she had lived through the aftermath of what he had feared so much. 

Peter leapt over both of them so quickly that Pepper hardly realized it was happening until it was done and Tony in the middle of them both. 

"It's okay," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. Peter flipped one of the bedside lights on, and Pepper met his eyes. Even heavy with sleep, the depth of his worry touched her heart. But Tony was finally awake, breathing heavy. Pepper put her hand over his heart, and she fought tears as her mind flashed back to literally putting her hand in his chest. "We're here."

"It's fine. I'm fine," Tony said as his eyes darted from her to Peter then back again before really clearing. He pulled away from Pepper slightly but was only met with Peter's embrace. 

"We got you. I'm not going to let that happen again...ever."

Pepper could see the wheels turning in Tony's head. She couldn't pretend to understand all of his thought processes, but she knew how he handled his emotions. Tony wanted to resist, to brush it off. That was his first instinct, but he was hesitating because they were both there, both comforting him. And--finally--he was letting that sink in. Pepper's relief was tentative, but she wasn't afraid to let it take hold. 

"I'll be okay," he murmured, settling back onto his pillow and wrapping his arms around Pepper. She turned, pressing her back into him, and she could feel Peter wrapping his arms around both of them. By Tony's breath, she could tell he was still awake, but Pepper couldn't keep herself from drifting to sleep, hoping he would do the same soon. 

*****

The dining table was an absolute mess because Nat was working there again, even though Pepper had told her she could have one of the offices. Pepper didn't really think about it when she started collecting coffee cups as soon as she walked into the room. Nat rolled her eyes. 

"Hello to you too."

"Will you come to the grocery store with me?"

Nat leaned back in the chair and cocked her head. "Why? Is this for 'family dinner'?"

"If I say 'yes,' are you going to disappear to Laura's?" Pepper opened the dishwasher and started loading it. 

"Of course not."

"Yes." She put her hands on her hips. 

Nat smirked as she stood. "Sorry, but I'm going to Laura's this weekend."

"That," Pepper said after an exasperated sigh, "was not funny."

"It kinda was. Pepper, even when we're not all in the same place, I see everyone way more than I want to. And if I'd known family dinners would be way less fun as the boss, I'd have turned everything back over to Steve when I had the chance."

Pepper softened. She couldn't help it. She knew this was Nat's family, but she also knew the toll it had taken to keep it together. And even after everything she'd done to get their old world back, Nat was left with a hole in her heart and the heavy toll of loss. Pepper went to her and took her by the shoulders, letting the silence speak. Then she kissed Nat's cheek. 

"Okay, but can you at least do something with," Pepper nodded to the table, "all of this first?"

"You got it." Nat's smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but Pepper left it at that. She knew better than to force Nat to talk before she was ready. "Take Tony and Peter. They've been in the lab for like two days."

*****

Tony picked up a prepacked, whole snapper and held it at arm's length, looking it with one eye squeezed shut. He tossed it back into the case and picked up another, doing the same thing until Pepper snatched it from him and put it back, arranging it and the one he'd discarded neatly. 

"What, I was trying to find one I really connected with, since they're looking at me after all."

"I can't take you anywhere."

"Ah, yes, that's exactly right, which is why you should have let me stay in the lab." Tony did that thing with his hands where he snapped and did some kind of rock-paper-scissors thing with his fingers before snapping again--it drove Pepper nuts--before hopping onto the end of the cart, pushing it back slightly. "So, how does this work? Is there a list or something?"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., show him the list along with a layout of the supermarket with the appropriate aisles marked."

"On it."

"I turn to space dust for a few years, and my AIs all switch loyalties. Typical," Tony muttered as he absorbed the info F.R.I.D.AY. threw up onto his glasses. 

"Peter, can you help…" Pepper stopped short when she turned around to see Peter balancing two large wheels of mozzarella on his head and attempting to add a third. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Pepper wasn't sure if it was Tony that brought out the child in Peter or Peter that made Tony's natural tendencies towards being irritatingly immature more pronounced. "I swear to god, Peter…"

"Sorry...um, right...what's up?"

"Would you and Tony please start on the middle of the list?"

"Totally."

"Peter," Pepper said, voice flat, "just...get the groceries so we can go. Please."

A soft, almost sheepish smile appeared on Peter's face, and he kissed Pepper on the cheek. "We won't embarrass you, I promise."

Peter turned to Tony and handed him the basket he'd been carrying. The closest thing on the list was soy sauce, so Peter grabbed his arm and steered him that way. As soon as they got into the aisle, Tony started grabbing ramen at random and throwing it into the basket. 

"Dude, do you know how much salt is in those?" Peter asks.

"Balances out with all the salt Pepper doesn't like us to eat. I can't believe you didn't find my stash of these in the lab." He picked up one box and looked at the back. "Do these things even go bad?"

"No way. They're up there with Twinkies."

"We should get some of those."

"Not on the list."

"You cave to her way too easily," Tony said as he weighed two Soy sauce options. 

Peter picked the one he knew Pepper would want and tossed it into the basket. "No way. I just know what's good for me."

"Come on... You gotta give a little pushback, Peter. She loves it." Tony flashed him a grin, and Peter couldn't help but smile in return. 

"I'll take my chances."

"So, what's the deal with this 'family dinner' crap?" Tony asked as they made their way to the next aisle. 

"Oh, yeah. It's something Captain Rogers started...you know, so we didn't feel disconnected when...well, you know."

"Sounds like Cap. Let me guess, Pepper won't let him cook."

"No way." Peter grinned. "Hey, should we make an unofficial stop in the candy section?"

"Now you're talking, Kid."

*****

It was a well kept secret that Tony not only could cook but also that he liked to. But Pepper had him wrist deep in a mix of beef and lamb, breadcrumbs, egg...a secret blend of herbs and spices. It was his grandmother's recipe and the only thing he knew by heart. Somehow the table was clear of Nat's disaster and set with a simple centerpiece of candles and cut crystal. It was nice to be in the kitchen. 

Tony couldn't remember the last time he'd cooked, let alone cooked with Pepper. The lab, the Avengers, it had all kept him so busy. Truth be told, part of his mind was still working. If he could leave at the earliest possible time, he would. But Pepper wanted her night, and if he played along, maybe she'd be more inclined to forgive him later, when his Extremis modifications were finished. 

"Hey, come on," he said to Peter. "Just _gently_ sear them. It's a meatball not a mini hamburger."

"But you said…"

Pepper moved between them and took the tongs from Peter. Tony craned his neck to her for a kiss. "I love it when you sear my balls, Honey." He got an eye roll for his trouble. It seemed like Pepper was doing a lot of that lately. 

"Okay, what can I do?" Peter asked. 

"Can you put the salad together," Pepper asked at the same time as Tony said, "Get that spoon and give me a taste of the tomato sauce."

Peter froze for a moment, but he spooned the sauce and offered it to Tony, reaching across Pepper who kissed him lightly. 

"Mm, yeah, perfect. Just turn that down to simmer, and do the rabbit food." He put another meatball in the pan for Pepper to sear as she transferred the others into the sauce. 

"Smells great." Tony looked up to see Steve Rogers standing by the table, his hands in the pockets of his khakis. 

"Steve." Pepper smiled, always gracious. "I always forget your motto is 'not on time unless early'. Let me get you a beer."

Tony kissed her cheek and wiped his hands on his apron. "I got it, Hon. Don't let Peter make those too big." He washed his hands and grabbed two beers by the necks. "Cap," he said, twisting off the tops before handing one to Steve. 

"Tony."

There was a moment, just a beat, but Tony extended his hand. The hurt between them ran deep, and Tony wasn't entirely sure he had forgiven Steve. But holding onto it, letting it continue to fester wasn't doing any good. "Cheers." He clicked his bottle against Steve's as they shook and took a long sip. "Pep said this whole shindig was your doing."

"Yeah, but she won't ever let me cook."

"Can't imagine why."

"Pepper, is there anything I can do?" Steve asked. 

"No, just make yourself comfortable. Scott and Hope just came through the front gate."

Tony was going to ask who invited Ant Man, but he was distracted by Rhodey coming in from the hallway. They clasped hands before Tony pulled Rhodey into a tight hug. Rhodey held Tony at arm's length and grinned. 

"You look like you've been in the lab for a few days straight. Is that Nana's spaghetti and meatballs I smell?"

"Yeah, but for that comment, none for you. Only salad."

Rhodey pushed him away playfully and did his round of greetings before grabbing his own beer. Tony went back into the kitchen, popping Peter on the ass with a dish towel as he washed his hands again and took over with the sauce. He would have done it to Pepper too, but she stared daggers at him. He held court from the kitchen as Scott and Hope arrived, followed by Sam. Tony was pretty sure he heard some sort of craft landing on the lawn, and that was confirmed when the blue kid and blonde, lady Captain America with a way better suit, not to mention ass, came in. 

Peter leapt over the counter, making Pepper yelp--Tony didn't know why she wasn't used to things like that by now because he certainly was. 

"Whoa, Captain Marvel, Nebula, Hey!" He grinned as he hugged them both. Tony noted that Nebula tolerated it while Marvel accepted it. "Did you bring me anything from space?"

"What are you, five?" Scott asked. 

"Hey, you're just jealous that you didn't think to ask for something from space."

"This is a pleasure elixir from Xarta," Nebula said gruffly as she handed Peter a small vial. "Use it in the company of only those you trust."

"This is so cool. Thanks."

"Huh…" Scott said as he scratched his head. "I am jealous I didn't ask for something from space."

"Hey, don't spiders eat ants?" Sam asked. 

Tony chuckled to himself and put his hand on Pepper's hip briefly while he ducked behind her to grab a serving bowl. They dished up the food and put it around the centerpiece of the table in true family style. Tony banged a wooden spoon on the lid of a pot. 

"Soup's on, kids."

They gathered around the table, Pepper between Peter and Tony, and Tony could imagine this group, halved and trying to find some sort of consolation in each other. There was a warmth that he'd never felt in his own family. He had to acknowledge the sense in doing this. Steve was right to push them together outside of a fight, and Pepper was right to continue it. 

"Tony," Steve said as they stood behind their chairs, "Would you say grace?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Pepper elbow Peter, effectively wiping the smirk from his face. Tony cleared his throat before making the sign of the cross--he had no idea if it was backwards or not. "Right… In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost, whoever eats fastest gets the most."

That got laughter from almost everyone. Even Nebula joined in, though it was clear she didn't get it. The meal started out loud, with Carol Danvers, who Tony officially met over passing the meatballs, regaling them with the latest adventure she and Nebula had had. It was nice to hear about, but Tony'dd had his fill of space. Just about the time they finally got all of the food passed around, he looked up to see Maria sauntering in with a bottle of bourbon in one hand and wine in the other. 

"I can't believe you guys started without me."

"Oh, my god, Maria," Pepper said, pushing back her chair. "I wasn't sure you'd come." Pepper enveloped her in a hug and kissed her cheek as she took both bottles. Peter was already getting up to give Maria his chair while he found another one, so Tony didn't have to. 

"I couldn't decide which bottle would be most appreciated, so I brought both. Fury sends his regrets," she said as she sat.

"You know Fury?"

"You must be Captain Marvel," Maria said as she accepted the plate Pepper put in front of her and started to help herself. 

"Whoa, wait, you know Mr. Fury?" Peter asked. He'd pulled over a bar stool and was balancing his plate on his lap.

Carol smirked. "We go way back." 

"As far back as Cap and America go," Tony said through a mouthful of meatball, "because you don't look a day over 30."

"I think you look great, Captain America." Scott punctuated that by jabbing his fork in Steve's direction. 

"Got a little crush there, Ant Man?" This time it was Tony who smirked. 

"Hey," Scott said, now pointing to Tony with the neck of his beer bottle, "I'm just a representative of America's crush, and I'm not afraid to admit it."

The laughter and resulting chaos of conversation lent a warmth to the room. Tony sat back, watching, imagining half of them gone. He understood why Steve could insist on this, on pushing the family narrative. It was a chance to forget what must have been such a heavy loss while still honoring everyone who wasn't there. And now, it just reminded Tony of everything that was at stake--even more because they'd lost it all. 

"He is a handsome man," Nebula said at a lull in the conversation,"but he is no Thor."

"This is a woman with taste," Tony said over the laughter.

"What would you know about taste?" Rhodey shot back.

"Should I be offended by that?" Pepper asked, and out of the corner of his eye, Tony could see Maria mouthed _definitely_. "I think I should be offended by that."

"Me too? I think…" Peter said, laughing. 

The rest of the meal was just as boisterous, and there was a heated argument over who would be doing the dishes. As the cook, Tony exempted himself. He worked the room, taking in the energy from the people he did not know as well. He found Nebula standing at the fringe, arms crossed. 

"You need another drink, Smurfette?" Something told him if she'd gotten that reference, she would have kicked his ass. 

"No."

"So…" Tony mirrored her posture. "Pepper told me you got Peter back here. I wanted to say thank you."

After a long moment, she turned to him. "We would have died in deep space without Carol Danvers."

"Yeah, well, you would have died sooner than that if you hadn't had each other...maybe, I don't know. The point is, you helped him keep going, and I don't think I would have come home to the Pepper I know and love without that kid."

Nebula turned to him, looking him up and down. They'd fought side by side against Thanos, same goal in mind, but Tony really didn't know anything about her but what Peter had told him. But he knew that appraising look. 

"You have become part of their relationship, then." It was not a question. 

"Ah, well, yeah. Actually, I'd say Peter became part of _my_ relationship, but…" She cut him off with one sharp nod. 

"Good."

Tony had no idea what that meant, but she said it with a finality that worried him a little bit. He was left speechless, for once, when she strode off to Rhodey, greeting him like an old friend. And Tony was reminded, again, of how much everything had changed. But at its foundation, everything was still there, everything he wanted to keep safe now that he'd failed to do that in the first place. 

*****  
The argument Sam and Steve were having about whether to rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher or even why the dishwasher was necessary in the first place was one that had the feeling of being well worn. Pepper sat on the sofa with Maria perched on the arm. Hope sat on the other side next to Pepper, and Scott was standing near with a beer in one hand and a slice of angel food cake in the other--he'd been eating it without the macerated strawberries, which was weird to everyone. Carol sat on the floor, her back resting against one of the chairs.

"Are they a couple?" Carol asked thoughtfully. 

Pepper and Maria gave each other knowing glances before laughter got the better of them. The vibe was absolutely one of _old married couple_ , and having Peter there snacking on leftovers instead of helping put clean things away made it even moreso. 

"Not exactly," Pepper replied. 

"Where's Nat?" Maria asked, turning her attention away from the kitchen.

Pepper swallowed a sip of her wine. "She's with Laura and the kids."

This got an eyebrow raise from Maria, and out of the corner of her eye, Pepper saw the light of recognition in Hope's eyes. Maria, of anyone besides Pepper, would know why Nat wanted to be there and how it could be as good for Nat as much as it was for Laura. Carol's lips twitched in a slight smile of recognition. 

"Seriously?" Scott dropped into one of the chairs. "Captain Marvel has been all over space--like actual other planets with aliens and everything--and you want to know where Nat is?"

"Scott, please…" Hope said before pursing her lips. 

"But… _space_."

Pepper leaned back, stretching her neck. She felt content--truly content--and she let herself enjoy the warmth of the moment. She wanted to hold it as long as she could. 

"It's nice," Pepper said, smiling, "to be down here surrounded by women." She sat up again and took another sip of her wine. "Sorry, Scott."

He put his hand to his chest. "Me? Oh, don't apologize. I'm just one of the girls."

"I believe that," Carol quipped. 

Pepper nearly spilled her wine when Peter hopped over the back of the sofa, plopping down close to her and offering an apologetic smile to Hope. She noted, however, that Hope was entirely implacable. This was a woman, Pepper decided, that she'd like to know better. There was an air of reserve that didn't seem to go with Scott at all. And yet, they clearly worked, and worked well. But Peter was wrapping his arm around Pepper's shoulders and settling in, so Pepper abandoned her thoughts on chatting with Hope alone. 

"Can believe what?" Peter asked. 

"Can't share," Scott answered. "Girl talk."

"Yo, Peter!" Tony called as he made his way toward them. Pepper shifted, and she immediately had to stop herself from sighing. She'd seen that look before too many times. Tony, glint in his eyes, was about to disappear to the lab. He'd let himself be away for too long. He'd done it with Bruce. He'd done it alone. He'd left parties like this and quiet dinners at home. And now, he'd pulled Peter into it. "Lab time?"

"Yeah, dude." He kissed Pepper quickly on the cheek, and his smile was so full of excitement. "You don't mind, do you?" 

Tony never asked, only assumed. It wasn't that he was uncaring, that he didn't consider Pepper's needs--it was that he couldn't keep his focus from consuming him long enough to realize he was going overboard. Pepper just hoped this time it wasn't something that would hurt him, or worse, all of them. But Peter...it was hard to say no to him. 

She pursed her lips and looked up to Tony. "If you're going to spend all night in the lab, I'm spending the night with Maria."

"Please," Maria said, "stay in the lab all night."

"Sounds cool," Tony called over his shoulder. He was already headed to the elevator, and he had that distracted tone. He definitely hadn't heard her, but Peter, now following him by jogging backwards, cocked his head. Pepper just rolled her eyes and waved him off. 

"What's he working on?" Rhodey asked. He and Nebula had wandered over. 

"I have no idea." Pepper held up her glass as Sam, dish towel on his shoulder, came around with a bottle of white to refill glasses. "You know how he gets."

The night went on until everyone had filtered out, leaving Pepper and Maria on the sofa. Pepper stretched her legs out, putting her bare feet in Maria's lap, and she fingered the rim of her empty glass. 

"Want a refill?"

Pepper shook her head. "I'm already going to regret this much in the morning." She pulled the band out of her hair and shook it out over her shoulders. Even though she didn't get to see Maria as much as she had years before, Pepper still felt a swell of gladness that she was back. She had felt Maria's loss too, even if their relationship was one filled with distance and quiet. 

"So...Nat and Laura?"

"I think so." She took a beat, a breath. "She's not saying much about it. When...honestly, Maria, I don't even know the full story about what happened with Clint, how they had to get the stone. But I know enough to see that she's not going to forgive herself for it."

Maria was quiet, only nodding. Pepper knew Maria and Natasha had as much of a past, if not more, than she had with Nat. It wasn't something they'd ever talked about, and Pepper had never felt the need. They fit into the spaces of each other's lives when and where they could, and those spaces were always changing. 

"How about we talk about you and Peter," she continued, smirking, "and Tony."

"What's there to talk about?" Pepper asked playfully. 

"Just surprised you don't look even more tired."

Pepper laughed lightly as she sat up, curling her legs underneath her. "Ouch."

"You're happy. I see it. You've always loved Tony despite everything, and it seems like Peter is perfect for you too. But…"

"But." Pepper sighed as she massaged the back of her neck. "I don't know how long I can keep up. I don't…" She scoffed more at herself than anything else. "I don't know if it's fair for me to try."

"You've got more sex than you can handle and you expect me to feel sorry for you?" Maria rolled her eyes. But her face softened as she leaned closer to Pepper. "Menopause?"

She shrugged with forced nonchalance. The word sounded harsh when spoken, but Pepper shouldn't have expected anything less from Maria. "Perimenopause, maybe. Or maybe this is just...what getting older feels like."

"And you haven't been to the doctor because you're busy and important and…"

"Because I'm a coward."

"Not a word I'd pick to describe you." She shifted, brought her knee up and rested her arm on it. Maria cocked her head, and Pepper did not like the examining look she was getting. It was calculating, and she knew whatever came out of it would get to the root of things she was too tired to deal with. "It's not Tony. He's wrapped around your little finger--he won't admit as much, but he does know it. So…" She looked Pepper dead in the eyes--a habit so unnervingly militaristic that Pepper had to look away for a moment--before saying, "it's that you're afraid you'll lose Peter."

"Why do you have to do that?" Pepper got up, her whole body tense. 

"Why won't you admit that's what's wrong? You're a big girl, Pepper. However you went into this--whether it was grief or desperation or maybe both…"

"Maria, stop."

"I've never known you to shy away from something that scared you."

"Stop!" she snapped. "I'm allowed to have fears. I'm allowed to want a happy ending, even if I feel guilty each and every day about it…"

"Did saying it out loud make you feel better?"

"Don't sound so smug." Pepper sank back down on the sofa. No, it didn't make her feel better. She was too keenly aware of how devoted Peter was, how much he loved her, and how with every day that passed, she aged a little more.

“I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit for aging gracefully.” Maria winked. She drew in a deep breath and checked her watch. Then her face lit up. “You got a giant bathtub or ten around here? Maybe a hot tub…”

“There are two hot tubs actually.”

“Great. We just need one.” She got up and tugged Pepper along with her. 

“Maria…”

“The water is too cold to go skinny dipping in the river. So, we’re doing it in one of the hot tubs.”

"Seriously?" 

Pepper was laughing, not really resisting as Maria was pulling her toward the elevator. She didn't know why she chose the hot tub on the roof. The deck around it was empty, chairs folded and stored neatly to the side. The air was chilly, raising goosebumps on Pepper's bare arms, but water, gently lit from underneath, was warm to her fingertips. She looked to Maria, face half shadowed but a smile there none-theless. Pepper dipped her head as if to ask _are you sure_ and in response, Maria pulled off her tee and then the tank underneath it. 

"God, how do you have time to maintain those abs while doing...whatever it is you and Fury do these days?"

"I think you're forgetting that I've seen you naked."

"Not in at least ten years." Pepper slipped out of her jeans and folded them neatly, and soon, her clothes were in a careful pile beside Maria's. That neatless, automatic precision, was something she and Maria shared; though, it came from vastly different places. 

Maria appraised her thoughtfully before stepping into the water and holding out her hand. "Ten years that have been _very_ good to you."

"You're a better liar than that," Pepper said as she took Maria's hand and stepped in, sinking down into the water and sighing. "You're upset that Nat isn't here."

"This payback for earlier?" Maria spread out her arms and looked up into the night sky.

"Just an observation."

The silence was tense. It didn't unnerve Pepper. There had always been a tension in her relationship with Maria, but it was a tension that held without ever snapping. And that was something Pepper found comfort in. Finally, Maria looked back into Pepper's eyes. 

"Coming back was hard too, you know."

"I know," Pepper said quietly. This time, the quiet they shared was companionable--just like that. But Pepper knew not to push. Maria would talk when she wanted to, and more often than not, that was never. Where Pepper's relationship with Nat had grown to the point that she could dig a little without getting rebuffed, that had never been the case with maria. 

"Pepper?"

"Yeah?"

"He's completely in love with you." Maria laughed. "It's so obvious it's disgusting. Trust him to know what he wants. That's really all you can do."


	21. Realizations

Peter made a note on his tablet before tweaking his simulation for at least the fiftieth time. He ran it again, stopping in the middle because he could see where it was going to fail...again. Tony rolled over on his stool as Peter was running his hand through his own hair in frustration. 

"Have you tried…" But instead of actually asking what Peter had tried, Tony, as he so often did, just reached across him and started entering values in his tablet while Peter watched. 

"Huh...no, not that way." He set the simulation to run again. "Hey, so...is Pepper actually going to...um, spend the night with Agent Hill?"

"Ah...no idea," Tony said distractedly. "What's your policy? What's in the contract?"

"Contract?"

"Yeah, the relationship contract. Pepper didn't get you to… Of course she didn't. You're not me."

Peter shifted on his stool so he was facing Tony, who still wasn't really paying attention to him. After a minute, he swiped the simulation away and took Tony's glasses off of his face. That was enough, and Tony finally blinked before completely focusing on Peter's face.

"You had...a _contract_?"

"Is she still sleeping with Nat?"

" _Dude_!" Peter felt his cheek burning, and it was even worse that Tony was grinning. "No. I mean...she was but not since… Oh my god, was that in the contract?"

The grin only widened. "You're cute when you're worried."

“Not helpful.”

Tony put his glasses back on and pulled up the simulation again. “Pepper is going to drink too much wine and talk about old times while trying to get Hill to admit that she showed up here to see Nat. And tomorrow morning, you and I are going to get an earful not only because Pepper has a hangover but also because she’s pissed we left to come down here. And we’re going to drink our green smoothies silently while we take our verbal lashing.” He glanced over to Peter. “Feel better now?”

“I liked it better when I was imagining her sleeping with Agent Hill.”

“You and me both, Kid.” He rested his hand on his mouth and chin as he stared at the model. "Damn. Still not there."

Peter didn't want to let go of the conversation. Pepper had never said anything about contracts. It wasn't something to just...bring up out of the blue, Peter guessed, but she'd always been open about her relationship with Tony. And it wasn't that he thought she was hiding it--it was just that he was reminded there were intimacies he still wasn't privy to. 

But he tried to shake it off. Tony was pulling the simulation apart piece by piece, getting utterly absorbed in the work again. This was what Peter had wanted for so long, what he used to fixate on when he was at school and trying to go to sleep at night. It was surreal to have it now and to get to go home with Tony and Pepper afterwards. 

"There…" He said suddenly, standing and pushing Tony's hand away. "That's one of the issues. Just…" Peter pushed against Tony as he leaned into the projection, and Tony stood, reaching over him. 

"Okay, but if you do that, you're going to cause a cascade that…"

"Yeah, I know," Peter said, slapping his hand away, "just lemme finish."

They jostled for position until Peter wound up in front of Tony, and suddenly, he felt Tony's hips pinning him against the lab bench. 

"Did you really just slap my hands away?" Tony asked, voice dark in Peter's ear. 

A thrill ran through Peter, shooting straight to his groin, and he let himself grin as he turned, his nose nearly touching Tony's. "Yeah. I did."

"What," Tony asked, putting his--one on either side of Peter--flat on the bench, lips grazing Peter's as he continued, "am I gonna do about that?"

That jolt again. And all Peter wanted to do was kiss Tony, push back and wrap his legs around him. But he stayed still, lips twitching as he licked them. Peter knew he could give in right there and they'd both take pleasure in it, both come out satisfied. Or he could push just a little more, and maybe Tony would push back. 

"I don't know, Tony." Peter grabbed Tony's hips, pressing against them, knowing Tony would feel his erection and pleased to feel Tony's. "What are you gonna do?"

Tony liked to talk. He could draw it out, heighten the tension with each little quip. And he was as good at that as he was everything else--perfect. But he surprised Peter then by using his mouth for a hot, punishing kiss instead of more words. And Peter couldn't help but moan into it. He stopped trying to keep up and started undoing his pants. Tony was pulling off his own shirt when Peter started and by the time Peter kicked his pants off, Tony was down to his boxer briefs. 

Tony's cock was ready, but he was watching Peter coolly, almost like he was appraising him, and Peter gulped down the moan rising in his throat as he pulled his shirt off. 

"Not naked enough, Kid," Tony said, grinning as he backed Peter into the lab bench again. "I bet," he said between kisses along Peter's jaw, down his neck and then underneath one of his ears, "that Pepper might be watching. Right now."

_Oh, shit._ Peter couldn't even get the words out. He swore his dick twitched at that, at knowing she could be, might be. Even more, he knew she'd enjoy it, maybe keep it like she had their first time. And Peter was so lost in the memory of seeing Pepper watching him fuck her, her hand betweenher legs, that he didn't realize Tony had turned him and pushed him onto the bench chest first.

"Yep…" Tony was pulling off Peter's boxers as he spoke, and even though Peter couldn't see him, he knew Tony was grinning, "I think that's definitely the view she's going to like best."

Tony's voice was in his head, filling Peter's mind, each word making him squirm, and then Tony's cock was slowly pushing into him. And even as he groaned, Tony was unrelenting in Peter's ear. "Multiple angles…" He held Peter's hip with one hand as he pushed in his entire length, bending, breath against Peter's shoulders as he kissed him there. "Might even...put it in her special file…"

"S-special file?" Petter shuddered with pleasure. 

"Oh, if I know Pep...she's got a whole...system of organization."

It was just as hot, Peter realized, for Tony to think that Pepper might be watching. Peter's mind could almost go to watching together, all touching each other, fucking Pepper as they watched Tony fuck him on a screen. But there, right there in that breath he was starting to come as he called Tony's name and begged him not to stop. 

They were both quiet for a while afterward as they lay on the lab bench side by side. The Extremis simulation they'd been running rotated slowly above and around them. Peter watched it without really thinking about it at all. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Tony, eyes half lidded, doing the same. The shifting lights of the molecular structure gave the moment an ethereal quality, and Peter didn't know he could be so content.

"We should go to bed," he said softly without making a move to get up. 

"Uh huh."

"Think Pepper's there?"

"That's the dream."

The quiet settled again, and Peter was fighting his eyes wanting to close when he felt Tony stir beside him. Getting his eyes open again felt like he was trying to move his eyelids through glue. 

"Babe, do you see that?"

Peter was wide awake. He had no idea what Tony was seeing, but Tony had called him _babe_. It had been so easy, so natural. But it was still the first time Tony had called him anything other than _Peter_ or _Kid_ , and his heart had skipped a beat. 

"Uh, what…"

"It's right here…" Tony sat up and began to turn the model sideways as Peter scrubbed at his eyes. "If we just...yeah…"

"I…" Peter shook his head. He could grab a Red Bull or some coffee, but really all he wanted to do was crawl into bed with Pepper, even where Tony's excitement could be infectious. "Let's sleep on it, okay? Figure it out in the morning..."

"Yeah, uh huh…" Tony's voice was distracted, his eyes faraway. "Tell Pep I'll be right up…"

Peter rolled his eyes. He knew he'd wander back down here in the morning and find Tony, wild eyed and still at it. But he sat up and kissed Tony's cheek before sliding off of the bench and pulling on his clothes. 

"Just...drink some water or something."

"Mmhmm. Love you. Night."

"I love you too," Peter said softly. He knew his cheeks and neck and chest were completely flushed, but he couldn't help but grinning as he left the lab. And he was still grinning by the time he got back to the suite. 

He found Pepper brushing her teeth, wearing a tee that Peter wasn't really sure whether it was Tony's or his. While Peter hadn't expected to find Pepper awake, he realized he was just glad to find her at all. He'd never thought about their relationship, unconventional as it was, being open like that. If Pepper wanted it, he'd try, but the tilt toward jealousy was pretty strong. 

"Hey," He said before giving her a quick peck on the cheek, making Pepper raise her eyebrows. 

She held onto her toothbrush with her lips closed while pulling her hair--Peter noticed it was damp--into a messy bun and then spitting. "What's gotten into you?" she asked, smiling as she turned into his arms.

"Nothing." Peter dipped Pepper back slightly, making her laugh before he kissed her. He licked his lips. "Minty."

"Seriously," Pepper said as she pulled him toward the bedroom, "what?"

"Just that I love you. And Tony. And Tony loves me…"

"Oh?" Pepper turned back the covers and slid into bed while Peter just flopped down on top of them. "Did he mutter it while distracted with something or make a grand gesture? There's nothing in-between."

"Muttered." He couldn't stop grinning. "Wait, did you get a grand gesture?"

"If you call nearly getting killed a grand gesture."

"Glad I got mumbling then." Peter got up and he could tell Pepper was taking in the state of him. It made Peter blush not because she knew exactly what they'd been up to in the lab but because of everything Tony had said. And he couldn't control that he was getting an erection just thinking about it. 

"I see you two were getting a lot of work done."

"Were you and Maria, um, together or…"

"Peter, you and Tony are all I need."

"Need anything right now?" Peter asked hopefully. 

He saw the change in Pepper's face. It was slight, but Peter knew it was there in the way the faint lines around her eyes deepened and her smile tightened just a bit. "I just...want to get to some sleep." Her forehead wrinkled, but before she could apologize, Peter pulled on a clean pair of boxers and slid underneath the covers next to her. 

"That's great, actually, because I love sleep. I call big spoon."

Pepper turned as Peter wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to her shoulder. Her breathing evened as she fell asleep quickly; Peter knew it was only a matter of time before she ended up rolling away from him, but he held her tightly for a little while longer, enjoying the simplicity of contentment. 

*****

Pepper could see the flash of bewilderment on May's face when the server led her to the table. Not only was Pepper late, but she wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, not to mention she was alone. As May started to stand, Pepper waved her back down, and bent to give her a brief hug. 

"I know. I'm sorry," Pepper said as soon as she was settled. 

"No, don't apologize." May smiled and took a sip of her cocktail--something a shade of unnatural blue. "Let's get you a glass of wine."

"Oh, I'll just have whatever you're having," Pepper said, hoping it at least tasted like coconut. 

"Great. It's a girl's night then." Unspoken was her assumption that Peter wouldn't be joining them. 

"I'm sorry I'm late, and...well, that I'm not Peter."

"Now look who is apologizing." May smiled. "I'm hoping he sent you instead of standing me up without even calling."

"He was in the lab working on something he's doing with Tony."

"He forgot."

Pepper sighed. "He forgot. And he panicked, and I didn't want you just...sitting here alone listening to him apologize profusely as he told you why he couldn't leave the lab." Because she knew exactly what that could feel like, especially when it wasn't the first time. "So, I thought I'd come. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. I thought it was work that was keeping him busy, but...you said he's working on something with Tony? Is Tony back or…?"

"Tony is…" Pepper rubbed the back of her neck. She knew how to answer this in press releases, to the board, to reporters looking for a quote. But she wanted to make an effort with May, and the standard line didn't seem fair. "He's Tony. Officially he's a consultant. He seems happy to let Peter handle R&D--not that it's his decision."

May smiled and lifted her drink when the server put down Pepper's. "Well. To...the new normal." They took sips of their drinks and ordered their entrees before May leaned forward, an almost conspiratorial look in her eyes. "So, what are they actually working on?"

"Honestly. I have no idea." Pepper laughed lightly. 

"Oh, come on. You're the boss."

"Tony does what Tony does mostly off the books until it's ready. It's...less of a liability and frankly, less of a hassle for me that way. And I trust that Peter is handling things on his end." What Pepper didn't say was that she also hoped that Peter would curb some of Tony's obsessive tendencies, some of his guilt. 

"Peter seems happy...just tired, maybe a little preoccupied."

Pepper drew in a breath to agree. She wanted to say that her worry was that instead of having a mitigating influence on Tony, Tony was rubbing off on Peter. And it was true; Pepper could access the files, see what was driving them both, particularly Tony, so hard, but she wanted to trust in both of them so badly. And she didn't want to give May misgivings about Tony or herself when she knew May already had some. 

"I'm just happy they have each other now. I know this is something they both wanted."

"When Peter was a kid," May began, her grin spreading, "he had this huge poster of Iron Man in his room. We went to the Stark Expo when he was nine. I mean, it was terrifying, but Tony, I mean Iron Man saved Peter from one of those awful drones and thanked Peter for trying to help, and oh my god, Peter was just obsessed."

Pepper took a long sip of her drink. "He was nine. Of course." She shook her head, her cheeks burning. "I was talking about that night a while ago and he didn't even say anything about being there."

"Well, I'm sure he didn't want… Well. You know Peter."

"Didn't want to make me feel old?"

"Sorry." May cringed a little as she said it. 

"So, he had a crush on Tony even then," Pepper said. She knew her smile was wicked, but she only felt a little guilty about that.

"No," May waved her hand, waving the thought away quickly. "You know how kids are. It was an obsession. Someone to look up to. Not a crush."

Pepper smirked. "Sounds like a crush."

"Oh my god." May sat back, mouth agape. "I just thought he was watching all those YouTube videos because he wanted to _be_ Tony, you know? And just...saving magazine articles and everything...it was cute. It was...he totally had a crush. How did I not see that? How did Ben not see it?"

"Peter doesn't talk about Ben much." This time Pepper did feel guilty for the way May's face briefly dropped.

"Half the time Ben and I didn't understand what Peter was talking about, the things he was into. But Ben knew how to spot that…" She shook her head. "Hunger for knowledge and nurture it. It was why he was such a good professor."

"They were close."

"Ben was...well, really he was the only father Peter had ever known. Peter was so young when his parents… " May laughed, albeit sadly. "You know, Ben and I didn't want kids. He had his students, and I, well, I thought I was going to be the next Sylvia Beach or…" she waved her hand dismissively. "But Peter wasn't a choice, and he was...is… Well…" She dabbed at her eyes, and Pepper realized her own were stinging. "Well, some girls night this is."

Pepper laughed with her, and the silence that fell between them was companionable. Pepper thought of her small circle of female friends. There was her wider social circle, of course, and acquaintances that crossed into business but never real friendship. May, though, could be one of those few close friends, despite how they had started. And Pepper liked that thought. 

"He means everything to me, May."

Pepper had her hand resting on the table, and she felt May take it. "Me too, Pepper."

*****

He'd only put his head down for a minute. It was so heavy that Tony didn't think he could hold it up anymore. It was pounding too. Maybe that was making it heavier. He knew he wasn't thinking completely straight, but that was only one part of his brain. The rest could pick up the slack, keep going. And maybe, if he closed his eyes, the answer would be there waiting for him in the dark, just a little flicker that he hadn't been able to latch onto yet. It was weird, though, because he hadn't heard Peter come in when he put his head down, but he could definitely hear his name said repeatedly in Peter's voice. There was a disconnect between the sound and whoever was jostling his shoulder, though because when Tony sprang awake, he was taking a swing. 

When his vision cleared from sleep--and he had to rub his eyes and squint to get there--Tony saw Peter crouching on the counter, poised to jump. 

"Whoa, hey. It's just me."

"Yeah, wow…" Tony scratched his ear. "Sorry, Kid, just...taking a break."

"Dude, you were full on drooling when I came in." Peter hopped off of the counter and leaned against it. "Anyway, come on. I promised Pepper we'd _both_ be there for dinner."

"Yep, yeah, I just…" He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, cracking his spine and running through his list of excuses, knowing that none of them really mattered. "Tell her I'll be right up, okay? Just...tying up some loose ends."

He saw Peter's face fall. It wasn't anger or upset, but it was disappointment and it made him look like the kid on the roof when Tony took away his suit. 

"I seriously have no idea when the last time you ate, let alone ate with Pepper, was. This," he said, opening his arms to the workspace, "isn't going anywhere."

"Yep, and that's the problem," Tony muttered. Sure, he'd figured it out while drunk what may as well have been a million years before, and he'd neutralized it in Pepper. But he'd never tried to make into something even more than what it was. Tony knew he could. That wasn't the problem. It's just that it was just out of reach. And what if it stayed that way when the next global extinction crisis loomed?

"Tony, seriously. It's a crazy medical advance, and not even your field and you've pretty much almost got it. I mean, we already have several small scale applications that are game changers because of the work we've done on this."

"It's not enough," Tony snapped. He stood and advanced on Peter. "It's not enough, Kid. And you don't get it because you're...you. You can hang from the goddamn ceiling or catch a car falling off of a bridge with or without your suit." He put his hand on his chest. "But some of us didn't get bitten by a radioactive spider or whatever. God, Peter, we don't even know if you age normally. But I do, and suit or no suit, I'm getting old. And what good was the suit the last time the world really needed Iron Man anyway?"

He watched Peter's eyes widen in surprise and then darken with understanding. Tony sank back into his chair. He didn't want it to come out like this. He didn't want it to come out at all. The ideal plan was to perfect Extremis, inject himself, and _then_ let Peter and Pepper know. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. 

"So…" Peter began quietly. "This whole time all it's been about is you."

"Peter…" The weight of that disappointment was like a punch to Tony's gut. It wasn't just his friend or his lover--in Peter, Tony could see that kid disappointed in his mentor. 

"I'm just gonna…" He half turned and nodded to the door. "I'll tell Pepper not to set out a plate."

Tony let him go. It hurt; he didn't want to. But he knew he could figure that out after getting this done. In the end, he told himself, it would be worth it. 

*****

"Peter," he heard Pepper call as soon as he got inside, "can you go into the pantry and get the black vinegar. F.R.I.D.A.Y. says there should be a bottle on the third shelf on the right. I would but my hands are covered in…"

Black vinegar. Dinner. Right. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at it lightly just to try to get himself to snap out of it. He needed to think beyond his disappointment. The level of upset was totally childish--he knew that--but he couldn't help it. He tried to put on a smile as he walked into the kitchen, heading toward the pantry, but his face must have shown everything because Pepper completely stopped what she was doing.

"What's going on? Is Tony okay?"

"Hey, yeah. He's, uh, not gonna make dinner."

It seemed like Pepper was moving in slow motion when she wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked over to him. "Peter," she said, putting her hands on his shoulders, "what's going on?"

Her touch snapped him out of it, pushed the childish anger and resentment to the back of his mind. Everything Tony said to him was suddenly crisply clear. "I think he's going to use it on himself." Peter blinked and took Pepper's hands, holding them both in his. "Pep, he's developing this to try to make himself metahuman, like me. Shit...how did I miss this?"

"Okay…" She drew out the word, her tone measured. "Why don't you slow down and start from the beginning."

He let Pepper guide him to the breakfast table, and he automatically sat down. All the heightened senses in the world hadn't helped him see what was right in front of him. Peter was blind to Tony's motives because he was so excited by the project, by just getting to work with Tony on something. 

"Ok, so a few years ago I was going through old R&D files, just organizing some things, seeing if there was anything we should look at again or whatever." He shook his head. "That's not important. Anyway, I got an alert that someone had accessed one, and it was Tony--I mean, who else would it be really?"

"Peter…"

"Okay, sorry." he knew Pepper wasn't being impatient. She was just worried. "He revived this old genetics project, Extremis, right? Crazy medical applications like limb regrowth. I mean, we could regrow organs, and…" He realized Pepper's face had completely drained of color. "Pep?"

"He's going to give himself Extremis?"

"He, yeah...he was saying something about, keeping up, about the suit not being enough. I didn't realize…" But Pepper was standing before he could finish, and she was headed to the door in her bare feet. He blinked, stunned before getting up to follow her.


	22. Always You

"Extremis, Tony? _Extremis_?" Pepper's face was so red by the time that she got to the lab that Peter and Tony couldn't see her freckles. 

She was beyond even angry tears. Tony hadn't been there when they injected her. He hadn't witnessed the pain, and even though he was very well acquainted with physical pain, he had no idea what it was like to feel like he was being incinerated from the inside out. He had no idea how terrified she had really been when he was trying to find a way to neutralize it. With every moment, she had been afraid something, no matter how small, would push her over the edge and literally cause her to explode. 

"Whoa, hi. Hey. Cat's out of the bag, I guess." Tony let out a deep sigh and pushed himself up from his chair. "Honey, let me explain."

"Don't you _dare_ patronize me, Tony Stark. What part of this did you think was okay?"

"I don't know, maybe the part where I continue being able to keep you, both of you, safe."

Pepper could practically taste his manic desire, and that only made it worse. She would rather see him drunk or high or under the influence of anything but his own worst tendencies. "Because you haven't nearly killed yourself enough times with the suits? Is that why you need to do this?"

"Without this, there's going to be a day when even the suit won't stop me killing myself."

"I could have died!" she yelled. 

"But you didn't." Where Tony's voice didn't match Pepper's in volume, it did in frustration. "This isn't just about me, Pepper."

"It's _always_ just about you."

"I didn't keep you _safe_. I didn't keep anyone safe. It could have been you that turned to dust or Peter... There are things out there just waiting to happen, things even I don't understand. And I can't keep fighting them with _just_ the suit. I am doing...everything I can to be better for you. For both of you."

"I just want you, Tony. I've always just wanted you."

"Pep…" He looked pained as he went to her and took her by the elbows, leading her further into the lab. Tony pulled her into a hug, breathed in the scent of her hair. "I gotta do this. I can't risk what happened again. I can't lose this."

Pepper stiffened and stepped away. While her face was a hard, blank mask, her eyes were dark with a fury Tony had rarely--and Peter had never--seen. "Don't do this. I swear to god, Tony… Please."

"I promise you," Tony said after a tense silence. "I promise it will be worth it."

"No." Pepper shook her head. "It won't."

She left without another word, without even looking at Peter, and he felt like he'd been watching a debate where he had no hope of keeping up. He watched Tony squeeze his eyes closed before sinking back down onto his chair, swiveling it back to his work. Peter's mouth was dry as he tried to speak, and he had to swallow. 

"Are you...gonna go after her?"

"Wouldn't recommend it." Peter thought he sounded beyond tired--weary. "She'll come around, Kid. She just needs…" He sighed. "She'll cool off."

"Tony, I don't know if…"

"Are you gonna help me," he snapped, "or just hold me up. Because I'm close here, and I don't need more distractions."

Peter opened his mouth but closed it again. He didn't know what to say, and it seemed like there was no point. He's seen Tony look wild, excited, even a little manic. But this was so much more than that. Tony looked obsessed to the point where it wasn't healthy. And even more than that, Pepper's reaction scared him. 

On the elevator, Peter googled _Pepper Potts Extremis_ , and he only needed to skim to figure out what happened. When Tony said not to talk about it, Peter didn't even think to question it. And there were so many other exciting things on his plate to chat about with her. Plus, he liked hearing about her days, little things like how her newest assistant had no idea that you couldn't make a cappuccino iced. But all the pieces came together as he skimmed a news piece before the elevator doors opened on the suite.

Everything in the kitchen was just as Pepper had left it. Peter had absolutely no idea why the first thing he did was go to the pantry to get the long-forgotten bottle of black vinegar, but he did. And he placed it beside Pepper's other forgotten but neatly arranged ingredients. When he found Pepper, she was on the balcony, sitting in one of the big chairs with her legs criss-crossed as she watched the last of the sunset disappear. 

Those final brilliant flashes of sunlight made Pepper's hair glow like a halo of fire, and Peter gave himself permission to be breathless at how beautiful she was, even when her face was stained with tears. But it was only a moment, and Peter went to her, sitting on the floor so he could look up into her eyes. 

"I had no idea about you and Extremis. I'm sorry."

"He told you not to tell me," she said, still looking out into the twilight.

"Not...exactly. He just said not to bore you, and I…" Peter shrugged. 

"When has your work ever bored me?"

Peter bit his bottom lip. "There was that one time when I was making another variation on web fluid and… Oh, that was rhetorical."

"He's out of control. This obsession with finding some...permanent fix, the next way to keep the world safe forever is never going away. The suits and drones and Ultron...now Extremis…" She looked down at him. "He's never going to stop."

"He's still grieving what he lost, even if he wasn't there to experience everything that came after. It's just...hard not to keep reopening a wound like that. We both know it." He put his hand on her knee. Seeing Pepper this distraught brought back uncomfortable memories of helplessness, of the same guilt Tony was struggling with. 

"We have to go." Pepper's voice was suddenly hard. "This is what Tony does, and I can't… I can't do it again and again after that. I can't do this for the rest of my life. Peter, he isn't...made for this, for us."

"Pepper, no." He shook his head as he rose to his knees and held both of her hands between his. "You don't mean that."

"No, Peter. You don't know. You _don't know_ what it's like to see him do this over and over again like he's trying to sabotage everything that he has that's good." She stood up, pulling away from him, but Peter caught her gently and pulled her into his arms.

"Maybe, I don't, but that's exactly why he needs us. Where would I be if we'd walked away from each other, if you'd let me just drown myself in my own guilt?"

"Peter…" Pepper wanted to pull away. She wanted to get in the car and just drive. But even just Peter's touch was a comfort. "It's not… Tony has always been selfish, and that makes him even more dangerous...even when his heart is in the right place."

"After everything we've been through, Pep, we can't give up on Tony. You love him. I love him. And yeah, what he's doing is stupd and reckless, and there's no freaking way I'm letting him end up as a Hulk or something--no offense to Professor Hulk." He got a little laugh out of her, and that gave Peter some hope. "But you're right...his heart is in the right place. And if we can just...if we can just get him over this bump in the road or whatever, what he's doing could really be used to make the lives of so many people better."

"I can't go through this again." She held him close, closing her eyes. "How many times am I going to save him from himself?"

"As many times as it takes." Peter kissed the side of her head. "I'm not leaving him. And I'm not leaving you."

Pepper put her palm against Peter's chest, her eyes still closed. She could feel his heartbeat, quick but steady. She felt something in herself finally uncoil and relax like a heavy sigh. She knew she didn't have to do this alone again And she never would. 

"How long before he makes a breakthrough?" she asked quietly. 

"I mean, it's Tony. He could have done it the second we walked out of the lab. But there's no way he's going to synthesize a serum or however he's planning on doing it--we've looked at a lot of ways like nanoprobes, and…"

"Peter, focus."

"Right. Even if he figures it out right now, he can't just...inject himself. And I'm not naive enough to think he'd like...test it out first."

Pepper opened her eyes and pulled away from him gently, leaving a soft, parting kiss on his lips. Peter cocked his head. It was amazing how she could go from the edge to completely composed within the span of minutes. She dabbed her eyes with her fingertips. 

"Are you going back down there?" Peter asked, but Pepper was already shaking her head. 

"I can't. Not tonight. I'm going to finish dinner."

"I'll help. What are we making?"

"We're making steamed bao with tempeh," she said, a small smile on her lips. 

"Cool. Cloud buns and fake meat that I'm still not quite sure is actually a food. Sounds delicious."

She smirked over her shoulder as she was turning around. "And somehow you always seem to eat enough of it for three people."

He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and walking in step with her. "You don't complain when I have other appetites enough for three people."

"Very funny." He could hear the smile in her voice, even though she sounded tired, and that, at least, made him feel more settled.

*****

Tony's eyes felt like they were filled with sand, and they may as well have been. He took off his glasses and rubbed them, then started to rummage in a drawer for drops that had been there six years before but didn't seem to be now. Even when he put them back on, Peter looked blurry as he walked in carrying a plate. Tony grunted as he took them off again and cleaned the lenses on his shirt. 

"Bao with fake meat that isn't tofu and doesn't really taste like it but also doesn't taste like meat." He put the plate down and then pulled a bag of yogurt covered blueberries out of his back pocket, tossing them beside it. 

"Thanks." Tony pushed it aside and turned back to his screen. He could sense Peter standing there, just watching, almost like he was waiting, and finally he sighed. "Okay. Go ahead. Get it out. Let me have it."

"Dude, you're going to lose her...really lose her," Peter said quietly. Tony turned to him. Peter was standing with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched a little. 

"She'll understand eventually."

"She understands now. Pepper gets it, Tony." Peter pulled his hands out of his pockets and raked them both through his hair in exasperation. "Don't you see how tired she is sometimes? Or how she's not sleeping super well and has really crazy PMS?"

Tony blinked. Was Peter keeping some kind of journal or something? How did he remember all of that crap? Every time Pepper had a period Tony could have sworn she just finished one. "Uh...no…"

Peter rolled his eyes. "You're not the only one aging, okay. That's, like, what's supposed to happen, and using it as an excuse to do something reckless to try to give yourself super powers when you," he said, nodding to the suits, "pretty much already have one is just stupid and selfish."

Tony blinked, cocking his head. This was not a kid. This was not his mentee. Peter was an honest to god adult scolding him, and on some level, Tony knew he was right. 

"That's pretty harsh."

"Yeah, well…" Peter shifted from one foot to the other. "Grow up." 

Tony started to laugh and he couldn't stop. He had tears in his eyes, but he kept going, knowing he sounded hysterical. He was angry, desperate, so overwhelmingly desperate, and all he could think in that moment was how he wanted to kiss Peter for that unironic sass. 

"Don't do this. Make this mean something more than just...ego. I love you. Pepper loves you, and...at this point I think we're kinda a package deal."

"I'm not used to failure, and if I can't adapt, even if it's just adapting to my own age, I can't keep everyone safe. My failures have almost gotten Pepper killed more than once. Ultron...there's so much blood on my hands from that mistake. This one is on me, Peter...just me. And if it goes tits up, Pepper's still got you."

"No. That's not okay!" Peter's eyes were starting to brim with angry tears. "Because we both spent six years mourning you, and we're not going to do it again. So...don't do it. Just think about that, Tony. Just...get over yourself." He looked surprised that he'd actually said it, but the words were out there; he couldn't swallow them up again. 

But he didn't wait to see how they landed, how they settled with Tony. He was gone, and Tony was alone again with just his suits for company. 

*****

Pepper was awake when Tony crawled into bed beside her. She'd been awake since Peter slipped out early for what she'd initially guessed as a pre-breakfast snack. Since he hadn't come back to bed or dropped at least one thing in the kitchen, Pepper figured he was down in the gym. She'd stayed, eyes closed, letting the silence fill her because she had no idea how to face anything the day would bring. 

"Hey," Tony whispered before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. Pepper didn't stir. She didn't know that she was ready yet. "I can't lose you, Pep. I can barely tie my shoelaces without you."

"Are you saying that because you think I'm asleep?" she asked without rolling over. 

"No." he sighed. "Maybe. You know it's true. I guess I just...don't say it much."

"Ever."

"Pep, I'm trying here."

She could hear the frustration bordering on irritation in Tony's voice. And Pepper could also hear how weary he was. She sighed as she sat up and leaned against the headboard. Tony put his elbow on one of the pillows, propping himself up so he could look up at her. 

"Will you at least let me try to explain?" he asked. 

"No." Pepper shook her head to underscore the denial. "You promised me that there would be no more of this obsessive, destructive behavior."

"Technically…" One looked from Pepper and he was silent. 

"Tony, you're supposed to age. You're supposed to slow down. It's...normal. It's the kind of normal you and Peter and all of the other Avengers keep fighting for. I've accepted Iron Man as a part of my life. I'm proud of you. But I don't want you making ridiculous decisions to try to give yourself superpowers. I want you. Just you."

He shifted so that he was sitting beside her. "You don't seem to mind Peter's superpowers in the bedroom."

Pepper scoffed. "So you're telling me this entire debacle is about _stamina_."

He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Maybe...eleven, twelve percent?"

"You are...such an idiot." She rolled her eyes. Finally, Pepper leaned against him, their heads touching. "Will you stop?" part of her was afraid he would say no, and Pepper didn't know how her resolve would hold if he did. But she knew he was listening. The fact that he was sitting beside her at all was proof of that.

"Yeah." he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I promise."

Pepper was about to kiss him when Peter ran into the room, eyes wild and a huge grin on his face. 

"Hey, so I couldn't sleep this morning, and I went to the gym and had this totally great idea… but Tony wasn't in the lab and I wanted to..." he flopped onto the bed, a tablet in his hands. Then he paused for a moment, as if seeing them for the first time. "Oh, hey, cool. Everything is okay? We're all good now? Anyway, we could use Extremis in isolated incidences in conjunction with the nanotech, so that it's not just your suit that's self healing...just like, healing gashes and keeping you going to finish the fight without things getting worse…"

"Give it," Tony said, snatching the tablet, instantly becoming engrossed. "Huh...yeah this could work… We could probably apply this to the whole team, keep everyone from the whole death by a thousand papercuts thing." He glanced back to Pepper. "Safely...no superpowers."

Pepper pursed her lips. She wanted a break from the mania of their experimentation, but she knew this was Peter's way of making things better by offering both of them something. "You could apply it to Rescue?" she asked. 

"Yeah, of course, but…" Tony stopped and looked up, his forehead wrinkled as he knit his brows together. "I thought you hated the idea of using a suit."

She shrugged. "If you both want to keep saving the world, we should do it together...so I can make sure neither of you kill yourselves trying."

"Whoa, seriously?!" Peter did an actual backflip onto the bed, making Pepper gasp in surprise. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to that. But he was practically vibrating with excitement where Tony looked a perfect mixture of pleased and bewildered. 

"Pretty sure she means it, Kid." Tony scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I guess we're doing the family superhero thing now."

"Like _The Incredibles_?" Peter's eyes lit, but Tony was rolling his. 

"Do that again, and we're calling the whole thing off."

Pepper let herself smile, a small one but content too. She hoped, no, knew this was what they could be. But to see it coming together, even though she knew there would still be kinks to work out, brought her the warmth of pride and satisfaction that came not with knowing she had been right but with just how good it felt.


	23. Epilogue

It was the golden hour, and a breeze rustled the leaves lazily as Pepper sat on the porch beside Nat. The serenity of the moment was quickly broken by a door slamming and a voice calling for mom to intervene. Pepper couldn't help but laugh. 

"This isn't what I pictured for you."

"Me either." Nat took a sip of the lemonade with flecks of mint in it that Laura had left for them. "It's idyllic to the point of gross, right?"

"So gross." Pepper raised her glass and took a sip, surprised by the presence of the vodka. "It suits you."

"For now, yeah."

Pepper leaned forward and took Nat's hand, squeezing it. "Nat, you can let yourself have this."

But Nat's only response was that small, enigmatic smile that she always gave when she wasn't going to let Pepper go any deeper. "Tony and Peter scared Laura would make them fix farm machinery?"

"No." Pepper laughed, sitting back. "Tony and Peter have decided that we need a house and that they should build it themselves."

"Yikes."

"The land is gorgeous--a nice spot by a lake. They can't possibly screw up the view." Pepper leaned back into the chair and closed her eyes. "It'll be good to be away from the compound, to be somewhere that is really _ours_."

"There is certainly something to be said about not living where you work."

Pepper opened one eye to see Nat watching her. "Oh, no. Rescue is not a permanent part of the Avengers."

"Yeah, we'll see." This smile was genuine and bright, and it gave Pepper hope that Nat would let herself feel that way more. 

She closed her eyes again, thinking of the silver hairs in Tony's hair, how they suited him. When she put on Rescue for the first time, his entire face lit with pride, and Peter's reaction was joyful adoration. And she held onto the warm feeling of the yellow light pressing in on her eyelids, reminding her that she was allowed to be content too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me to the end.
> 
> I'd be remiss if I didn't, again, thank GlassesOfJustice for sticking with me through almost nine months, for letting me have this idea and run with it, and for all of the encouragement.


End file.
